Messianic Snowman Promises to "Return Again Some Day"

[Sannum]

WINTERTOWN, OHIO- The winds of change have swept through this sleepy hamlet, and now it seems that the place will never be the same again thanks to the appearance and subsequent death of a mysterious folk hero known only as Frosty. Even though his time here was very brief, he created quite an impression on those who knew him and left a throng of youthful followers in his path, eagerly awaiting his return.

No one is quite sure of his origins. His conception, from what we can gather, was immaculate since records indicate that he did not have a mother or father in the traditional sense. Witnesses say this Frosty person simply "came to life one day," but local sheriff Poncho Pilate dismisses such talk as utter nonsense.

Legend has it that Frosty's powers, and even his life itself, emanated from the humblest of objects, an old silk stovepipe hat. Now that he is gone, the hat remains behind as the only surviving relic, currently kept under guard at an area shrine devoted to his memory.

"The thing I remember most about him was how positive he was all the time," said Karen Jones, Frosty's one-time travel companion and head disciple. "Every time we put the hat on his head, he would shout 'happy birthday!' That was his way of telling us to live every day as though it were the first or last day of your life. That's a powerful message."

http://www.ridiculopathy.com/news_detail.php?id=1224

[Fiona]

1. I will wear a snowball around my neck

and hang a stovepipe hat over my bed until he returns.

[mr_hat]

2. Tribulation first, though.