Do you have any National Enquirer-style predictions for 2005?

[BurtWorm]

Take a minute and tune into the spirit world to see what they're reporting about the upcoming year. Then next year at this time, we can see how accurate the spirits were.

Ok, I'm getting a reading....

Bob Denver will make an amazing comeback when he stars as a carnivorous alien in a new film by Quentin Tarentino.

Wow! Can't wait to see that one!

Your turn.

[XNASA]

1. Kirstie Alley Will Marry Leonardo DiCaprio

[Lavender Brown]

2. Britney Spears Remains Married

:shrug:

[City of Mills]

24. ROFL I read this thread title

and the first thing I thought of was "Britney Spears to divorce, duh!"

[MsConduct]

3. bush and his entire cabinet resign and move to the Bahama's. n/t

[AlCzervik]

4. J-lo gets divorced and then married again

and then divorced and then married again-repeat several times.

[LiberalEsto]

5. Michael Jackson and Scott Peterson

will meet in prison and become lovers.

[Phillycat]

6. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good one! :thumbsup:

[PinkTiger]

18. Well, for this to happen

Jackson will have to be sentenced to death and placed on Death Row; condemned prisoners are sequestered from the general population. See my Michael Jackson prediction below.

[LiberalEsto]

21. well, you never know!

Who knows WHAT Jackson's been up to in never-neverland.


I also predict Condi will become pregnant and refuse to admit who the father is (hint - initials GWB).

Barbara Bush Sr. will unexpectedly have a stroke.

Massachusetts will secede.

Jenna and Babs will marry a polygamist.

Karl Rove will become a raving snake-handler; he won't get bitten out of professional courtesy.

[DeaconBlues]

7. Judith Regan starts to date Ann Coulter!

Judith - "I just keep my hands off those right-wing fellows!"

[BurtWorm]

8. My spirit source reports they have been dating.

They'll move to Canada so they can get married.

[DeaconBlues]

9. No need

"Ann" Coulter probably still has his/her original sex on her/his birth certificate.


updated to correct gender confusion

[thecrow]

10. Jon Binet Ramsey's death is ruled a suicide

[BurtWorm]

11. I've long suspected that.

[CO Liberal]

12. Sean Hannity's Head Will Finally Explode

:nuke:

[intheflow]

14. Man, we can only hope! n/t

[intheflow]

13. Cheney's human face mask pops off during a Nat'l Press Club luncheon

revealing him to be the evil alien robot we've always suspected he was.

Unfortunately, the only press to report it will be the National Enquirier (who were not there but heard it from one of the waiters working the event). The MSM will pretend it never happened while making sure to check that their own human masks are securely fastened.

[PinkTiger]

17. I've long suspected that. nt

[PinkTiger]

15. Here's mine

1. Robert Blake is sentenced to life in prison without parole.
2. Michael Jackson mysteriously disappears and is presumed to have fled the U.S. with a fake passport; however, no evidence to support this idea is presented. His assets, frozen by the government, are sold in a huge auction that nets nearly one Billion dollars; after payment of his $3 million bond, the rest is put in a trust for his chidren, who have been returned to their mothers.
3. President Bush has a nervous breakdown in May and is kept in a locked hospital ward; Cheney, who takes over temporarily, actually does a good job of handlling the presidential duties, a surprise to all except the most rabid Republicans. When Bush is released from the hospital in July, he is pressured to resign.
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes a Democrat in September, renouncing the Republican party as a right-wing quagmire. His switch is heralded by the DLC as a coup. Mainstream Democrats, however, are skeptical of the former bodybuilder cum politician/Governor.
5. The Euro is devalued to match the dollar in a bold move by the European Union to balance trade between the U.S. and Europe. As a result, the Dow hits 14,000 in October, a new record.
6. The minimum wage is abolished by Congress in August. Republicans who backed the bill state that the minimum wage was a bad idea in the first place, a way to force employers to pay even unskilled workers a salary they didn't warrant, while holding down the ability to pay some people more for excellent work. The change goes almost unoticed by most workers, who have been paid more than the minimum for years, anyway. Mostly affected are students, restaurant workers who didn't qualify for tipped employee status, and people who work for small business.
7. A gigantic snowstorm in March affects Southern Missouri, Arkansas, Oklahoma and Kansas with up to 4 feet of snow in places. An artic freeze keeps the snow on the ground for two weeks, and then another storm dumps an additional 13 inches of snow on top of the old. Some school districts are shut down for three weeks as a result, but few deaths are reported due to the storm because the roads are too dangerous to navigate.
8. Mt. St. Helens erupts for real in February.
9. Seismic activity near Yellowstone National Park in Montana closes the park in August. Scientists, worried about magma buildup in the park's caldera, warn that an eruption of catastrophic proportions may be eminent. Meanwhile, further to east near Thermopolis, Montana, the natural gas at Hamilton Dome explodes in a volcanic event that opens up a fresh caldera and sends ash and magma one mile in the air.
10. An earthquake of 8.1 magnitude strikes northern California near the Oregon border in September.

[BurtWorm]

19. Those are very convincing!

:thumbsup:

[PinkTiger]

20. Thanks.

It helps if one is a writer and has a wild imagination, LOL.

[flvegan]

16. Martha Stewart and inmate lover lobby heavily for gay marriage rights.

[terrya]

22. Male hustler says: "I supplied sex and Oxycontin" to Rush Limbaugh.

[Cuban_Liberal]

23. George H.W. Bush finally admits "Yes, we DID drop him on his head!"

"It was all Bar's fault."

:P