What the heck is wrong with dudes?

[Melodybe]

First off let me say from my own personal experience men have absolutely no concept of women's weight. I remember in high school being on a chat room and lying about my weight, I was 225 and said I weighed 135(my then dream weight), five guys immediately quit talking to me cause 135 was too fat.

I lost 100 pounds my freshman year of college, at my lowest I was 123, BTW I looked great in pictures but in reality I look skeletal. Since then I have gotten married, I weighed 150 on my wedding day. I weighed that much until I got pregnant, and I promptly got back up to 225. Since the birth of my second son I lost all 75 pounds and an additional 15, now I weight 135, Yay me.

I feel good at 135 and won't loose another once, but I must say guys are SOOO much nicer to me when I'm thin. During pregnancy guys are nice, they open doors and all that jazz, but it is nothing like the hubub I get now.

Now I get whistled at all the time, I never open doors for myself, bag boys ALWAYS insist on carrying my groceries, and Mexican men, in particular, feel the need to utter dirty things to me in spanish as I walk by.

What the hell, I'm not complaining that I am getting treated well, but damn why are guys so hung up on weight since they have almost no concept of what girls actually weigh?

My husband loves me no matter what I look like, I'm lucky that way.

But seriously I wish ya'll would get a clue, a big butt wears a big pair of jeans. JLo looks great but there is no way she is fitting that ass in a pair of jeans under size 12. Also tall girls no matter how thin, often wear larger sizes, my best friend is 130 but is 5' 8" and wears a size 8. Trust me she is very skinny. If you talk to a guy now, thanks to the MSM, they will say that he wants a girl that weighs 110 and is in a size 2, even though the vast majority of girls that they hit on will be much larger than that.
Beauty magazines and entertainment shows only perpetuate the lies, they always say actresses weigh less or wears a smaller size than the really do. Heather Gramh for instance, Entertainment tonight said she is a size 2, but at 5'10" I seriously doubt it. The girl has more hips than my best friend Jennifer could dream of and at 120 jen couldn't get into a size 6. Much like they always say male actors are taller than they really are, Tom Cruise is 5'6", but if you read about him in People magazine or other such tripe they always say he is 5'8".

So I am writing this to say boys get a clue and quit letting the media brain wash you into what you think beauty is. I swear if I hear one more guy say that he wants a girl in a size two I'm going to hurl, stop saying that! You don't know what you are talking about and it is making girls crazy!

[Dora]

1. Oh, they just can't help it.

Their brains stop developing at age 15, so they think everyone else stops at 15 too, including adolescent girls.

[ProfessorGAC]

17. Hey! My Brain Developed All The Way To 17!

See, you generalized and got caught! I am way more mature than a 15 year old. I act at least 2 years older than that! Of course, i'm 48, so go figure.
The Professor

[Dora]

24. Lucky you!

And lucky is the woman who finds such a mature fellow!

Oh, I am so busted. I hang my head. :)

[ProfessorGAC]

33. My Wife Found Me Already!

25 years ago, in fact! (Actually, we'll be married 25 years in March. But we started dating 26 years ago, this past June.)

So, if anybody is looking for this "mature" fellow, they'll have to get past my wife!
The Professor

[trumad]

2. I love more cushion for the pushin

J Lo's a goddess....

[Phillycat]

3. Heather Graham doesn't have an ounce of fat on her body.

[Melodybe]

5. My best friend looks the same size in pictures and Graham still

is not a size 2.

[Phillycat]

11. I weigh 5 pounds less than your best friend and Heather Graham

is waaaay skinnier than I am. I am a size 2.

[Melodybe]

23. photoshop is fun, but it makes girls insane

Graham is still not a size 2, much like Teri Hatcher in no way weighs 107. She is like 5'10", she would look like she was from Etheopia if she really weighed that.

[Phillycat]

28. That photo wasn't photoshopped, I took it right off Google images.

She most certainly is, and Teri Hatcher is skeletal. Why are you choosing the skinniest women in the world to prove your point that celebrities aren't actually that skinny? Look at Teri's face:



And then look at her body:



Come on! Get real. The woman is LUCKY if she weighs 107 pounds.

[Melodybe]

36. You are wrong though, Hatcher does not weigh 107 and Gramham is not 116

Being tall adds weight, she may not look big but at 5'10" it is physically impossible for Teri to only weigh 107.

I agree that I have made some bad examples but both Hatcher and Gramham are actresses I have actually heard info-tainment tell me their "weight" and "size."

And as I said much like magazines lie about actors height, they lie about women's weight and size. The magazine I read said that Graham was 5'10", and you just gave a source that said she was 5'8".

Info-tainment lies to get us to buy diet products.

I didn't mean that you photoshopped it, I mean that the photographer who took the picture did. Ever watch America's Top Model, they photoshop the hell out of those pictures. I've seen them talk about it a bunch of times.

[Phillycat]

38. Well the larger point is this...

I don't know if you've ever met an actress, but I have. One of my relatives works in the film industry. These women are shockingly, unbelievably thin. You WOULD NOT believe it if you saw them in person. Their heads look enormous compared to their tiny little bodies. Their shoulder blades could slice bread. Their skinny legs look like you could break them with a feather. It's impossible to see how they can walk on their fragile little ankles. They are AMAZINGLY, MIND NUMBINGLY thin.

I don't think the info-tainment lies, I think these actresses feel they must conform to an almost impossible ideal to keep their jobs (which they do), and the rest of us then feel inferior if we can't do it too. But think about it. Actresses spend all their time obsessing about their weight, they have personal trainers, chefs, and lots of time to work out. It's a full-time job staying that thin. It would be almost impossible for a regular woman to do.

[Melodybe]

41. I was in theatre in college and my roommate was a model

I've been around plenty of actresses, but admittingly not in Hollywood, they must look disgusting in person if they really are that thin.

Yuck!

[skygazer]

26. It's body type too, though

I'm about 5'8" and my ideal weight is around 130. When I was at my most buff, I still wore a size 9. I'm not petite - I'm big boned or whatever insulting term they're using now to describe a bigger frame. There wasn't any fat on me (I was working road construction - believe me, there was no fat) but I could not have pulled a size 2 onto my body - it wouldn't have gone over the bones.

[Melodybe]

39. I'm 5'6", weight 135 and wear every size from a 4 to a 9

the majority of my clothes are size 6,7,8, but I have a medium frame.

It is totally bone size, my bf couldn't get into a smaller size than 6 because of the bones in her way.

[Left Is Write]

40. I think a lot of people forget about the frame size thing.

I am 5'4" and wear size 0 or 1 (depending on the manufacturer). I weigh 110 pounds. On paper, that looks and sounds too thin, but I am actually at a healthy weight for me. I am healthy and strong. But I do have a very small frame: when I put my thumb and forefinger around my wrist, my thumb covers the first knuckle of my finger.

My sister, on the other hand, is 5'9" and weighs about 150. She's got a bigger bone frame, and she would be way too thin at size 6. She looks fabulous as she is and should not lose any weight.

We get so hung up on numbers when they ultimately don't mean anything significant. I admit guilt at being hung up on numbers too, and it's something I've been working hard to let go of. As long as my clothes fit, and I feel good, and I know that I'm healthy, I try not to think about it too much. It can drive a person crazy.

[skygazer]

43. Exactly. When I put MY thumb and forefinger

around my wrist, they barely meet. It's not fat that makes me wear a bigger size - it's bone mass.

[Phillycat]

16. Here you go: she's 5'8", 116 pounds.

http://www.topthemes.com/item.php?id=1084

Addtional infomation : Heather Graham's career stared with the hit drama, ''Twin Peaks,'' starring Lauren Holly. But Heather first received recognition for her role as roller girl in acclaimed '/Boogie Nights.'' She then went on to have a small part in thriller ''Scream 2,'' and to costar in the sci-fi remake of ''Lost In Space.'' ' Date of Birth: January 29, 1970 ' Place of Birth: Milwaukee, Wisconsin ' Career Start: Scrabble; Growing Pains ' Height: 5'8'' ' Weight: 116lb.

[Melodybe]

27. Just because it says 116 does not make it so

A roomate of mine was a model, she was 6ft and weighed 140, she wore a size 8 and her hips were 34 inches.

Elle Mcpherson is also 6ft and says she weighs 145, I believe her.

[mr_hat]

4. Is your fat on top of the skin, or under the skin?

[johnnie]

6. I feel your pain

Try being a 5'5" male in this society. Women want "tall" men and if they say they don't care, they are usually lying. I'm ok with how tall (or short) I am, but most women seem so hung up on how tall a man is.
The difference is, I can't do *anything* at all about my height..I guess I can get stilts. :)

[Melodybe]

14. Dumbya wears lifts in his shoes, their is a funny picture

of him getting out of an SUV and the soles of his shoes are almost 2 inches thick.

Don't worry about it, John Stewart is 5'6' and the majority of girls here would bone him in a second.

[NewJeffCT]

20. Stewart

Yes, Jon Stewart is short, but he is also considered handsome, wealthy & (most importantly) very funny... that certainly plays a part.

[buddhamama]

height issues i can understand

i am short woman. I don't mind shorter men. sincerely. :-)

[johnnie]

25. A LOT of men like shorter women

I will say that I like women to be about my size and not much taller, but that is just a preference. Most men I know like women short, and it cuts into my pickin's. Lol

[buddhamama]

29. i haven't found that to be the case

at least not in my experience. but as i have already stated in this thread, i don't have a good understanding of people, let alone men.

[NewJeffCT]

31. I have found that to be true

A lot of men like petite women. I used to work with a pretty woman that was about 4'10" and men used to fall all over her. She was pretty, but not that pretty...

My ex-wife was not much taller than the 4'10" woman - maybe 4'11" to 5'0" (on a good day) - and she attracted a lot of men as well. Of course, she also had huge blue eyes and an oversized chest.

I can't find the study, but I remember reading that men like petite women because they are considered "more feminine" and approachable.

[buddhamama]

35. it's me

my personality, i think. that, and the absence of an oversized chest ;-)

[NewJeffCT]

37. who knows?

The 4'10" woman I mentioned certainly did NOT have an oversized chest, and her personality was, at best, reserved.

My ex-wife, on the other hand, could also relate her entire life story to complete strangers in 5 minutes - probably why she was such a success as a food server when she was younger. Right after we met, we spoke on the phone for over 2 hours, and when we were saying our goodbyes, I said "it was nice talking, I mean listening to you."

;-)

[trotsky]

34. Good point.

I have been married for almost 10 years now so obviously it's not a concern for me anymore, but I remember being single and browsing personals ads, nearly every "Woman Seeking Man" add had a height stipulation, most commonly 5'10" or taller.

[bobbobbins]

7. the media didn't brainwash me

fat girls are just gross. Sorry. My girls a size 0, and i still want her to slim down.

[Melodybe]

9. You make me sad and I hope your "girlfriend" dumps you.

[bobbobbins]

12. well gee thanks...im sure theres lots of things you'd change if you could

i just like to encourage her to reach my ideal weight.

[NewJeffCT]

18. eek, I wish my wife could gain weight!

My wife is 5'4" and a size 0 and she wants to gain weight, and I try to encourage her to do so.

How tall is she at a size 0? If she loses weight, it could be unhealthy!

[bobbobbins]

19. loss of health is a small price to pay to look smokin'

[HEAVYHEART]

8. Congrats

Congratulations on your weight loss! :toast:

[vinnievin777]

10. I know what you are saying

Girls just want me for my body --they don't understand I have a mind too. Sometimes I think they are all the same.

Vinnie Vin
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1932852344/qid=1086103239/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/103-2438201-2251026?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

http://www.vinnievin.com

[buddhamama]

13. i don't understand people

let alone men. it's time i climbed back into my hole.

[MsAnthropy]

15. Someday they'll make the connection about APPETITES

If a woman has a healthy appetite and enjoys food, she will have other appetites as well.

[leftofthedial]

21. could it be that some guys just don't find large women attractive

naturally. It doesn't necessarily imply media brainwashing.

Personally, I find very thin women to be unattractive. That whole "war orphan" look from Twiggy on down just makes a woman look like a little boy to me. I find that repulsive. I don't think the media had any influence on my preference.

But just because a guy does not find a woman attractive or desirable, is no excuse to treat her badly. I like and dislike women of all shapes and sizes pretty equitably I think. It's the person, not the package, that matters. Still, I don't want to sleep with every woman I meet.

Does that make me bad?

Dudes generally have three criteria in judging something's worth. Can I eat it? Can I have sex with it? Can I play golf with it? ;-)

[StopTheMorans]

22. i have to disagree on a few points, b/c i think that there is somewhat

of a biological definition of beauty that does correlate SOMEWHAT (huge qualifier there) with SOME (another huge qualifier) societal standards of beauty. for instance, how about that story that came out (this is going to kill me, but i don't have a source, i'm sure that someone can post a link to it) that babies respond better to those people who fit the societal definition of "attractive"? or, from my own personal experience: a coworker's baby always loved me when he came to our office. out of a large crowd of people, he'd always run up to me; even though he had only seen me a few times in his life (he just turned 2). i had a beard a few months ago, and my coworker brought his son in. when he brought his son over to me, the child wouldn't even come near me. this happened the next 2 times he brought his son in. then, when i shaved about a month ago, things were back to the same with his child's attitude towards me (my little cousin Tyler acts the same way). so, while i agree with you to a point, i don't find it at all odd that SOME people (not condoning this, just saying that i don't think any human is perfect and can ignore "attractiveness" in whatever form it takes) were nicer to you when you were thinner then when you were heavier. just my thoughts; hope i didn't offend anyone :shrug:

(also, as a man, i've experienced the same thing in my life when i used to way 40 lbs more than i do now)

[AngryAmish]

30. Standards of beauty are hard wired

There are studies (not at my fingertips but good double-blind studies) about what men consider attractive. Facial symetry was very important. Clear skin. Breast-waist-hip ratio (ie having a waist, bigger bust means larger hips but all in proper ratio).
These studies held true across all cultures. (Men in India and men in Canada tend to find the same African woman attractive, etc.).

The theory goes men seek outward indicia of health and youth, thus child-bearing ability. Marilyn Monroe is attractive yet heavier than most acresses today. But she had good symetry and the breast-waist-hip ratio was there. I suspect that Heather Gragham has a very similar ratio.

[rasputin1952]

32. Well, just to throw in my 2 cents in the unending world of weight based...

threads:

Personally, I don't care what weight a person is; I am far more interested in intellectual weight, than physical attributes...:)

In my, "What to Look for in a Person" files...physical attributes are pretty low on the scale.

Intelligence
Sense of Humor
Ability to Enjoy One's Self
Ability to Smile
Ability to Accept Mistakes MAde and Correct Them
Lack of a "Hate Gene"
Compassion
Empathy
Honesty
Sense of Reality
Ability to Find "The Good" in People

Far outweigh anything else in my "Attractiveness" correlation.


Of course, to find out if people posess these abilities, you have to sit down and actually talk and listen to these people, otherwise, you may never get to know who is compatible anyway. But I realize, that having conversations with people takes time and effort, and we are in a world where time and effort are just not in supply.

So....in the endless world of "weight threads", I guess I am an anomaly, I care what is inside the person, as opposed to what my eyes merely see for just a moment. My heart and mind must be attached as well...but situations like that only come with patience and experience....:)

So, to all of you intellectual, funny, living life to Live Life women out there...Let's sit down and talk....:D

[buddhamama]

42. rasputin,

you're alright!!! :thumbsup: