I can't cope tonight...

[AlienGirl]

Riley (my almost eight-year-old) jumped into a wading pool and broke his heel-bone.

He's only five hours' drive away, at my ex-brother-in-law's house.

I don't have a reliable car and I'm afraid--yes, AFRAID--to drive the whole way in the dark, alone. No one can come with me; my roomies all have to work.

Either I go alone, or I stay here and feel like crap.

I just sat sobbing uncontrollably through The Daily Show. Nobody noticed. Jag walked by me on his way to bed. He didn't see.

Everything in me wants to beg my ex to please, please let me come live at home again; and please hold me and make it all right. But that kind of emotion is how I screwed my marriage up in the first place.

My kid was hurt and I WAS NOT THERE TO HELP HIM. If there is a worse feeling in the world, I don't know what it is.

Tucker

[Kenneth ken]

1. (((((( hugs )))))

[AlienGirl]

2. It's why I don't ordinarily cry...

It just gets me all messy, feels bad, and doesn't do any good; and nobody comes to help anyway. Should never have decided to try crying again...

Tucker

[instantkarma]

6. I heard someone say once

crying is the "healing" emotion. I think crying when you feel like crying is a healthy thing to do.

[Kenneth ken]

9. crying

I think it's a very good thing. There is a whole bunch of music I have, which I know brings on the tears every time. I put it on specifically because I want to cry.

I just wallow around in all that bleak, teary-eyed emotion and let it flow out of me.

:cry:

It probably keeps me sane.

[regnaD kciN]

Tucker...

How much would airfare there cost?

:hug:

ON EDIT: Wait a minute. Five hours drive away? I thought he was in Wisconsin. If it's five hours, forget airfare...how much would a bus or train cost? Even a rental car (from one of the cheaper brands like Budget or Enterprise) should be affordable.

[Kenneth ken]

3. ok

finding some words.

It's a horrible time of day to start driving anyway; even if your car was great. You'd arrive at ?? time of the night - you'd at best wake Riley from needed sleep.

Maybe plan a bus trip for Friday? Or would you feel better about driving in daylight hours?

" But that kind of emotion is how I screwed my marriage up in the first place. "
That's crap! If showing emotions was a problem for your ex, it was HIS problem not yours. Being able to express emotions, and be comforted is what makes a marriage a marriage.

more ((((( hugs ))))) - oh look ---> :hug: a better one

[regnaD kciN]

4. Well put!

That's crap! If showing emotions was a problem for your ex, it was HIS problem not yours. Being able to express emotions, and be comforted is what makes a marriage a marriage.

You hit the nail right on the head. It was his problem. Actually, from what I've read, it wasn't the only thing...

[DemBones DemBones]

5. (((Tucker))), Riley will be OK and it would be dangeous for you to

attempt a five hour drive at night in an unreliable car, especially when you're upset. Trust me, I'm a mom, too. Your roomies can't understand if they don't have kids. But Riley really doesn't need you to endanger yourself. Try to get some sleep soon so you can call Riley tomorrow.

[Supply Side Jesus]

7. Let Supply Side Jesus sooth and comfort you baby...

Me being new and all, i hope tomarrow goes better. And i hope Riley also does better, good things about kids, they heal fast, and before your know it, he's jumping into the pool again.

[DemBones DemBones]

8. Welcome to DU, SS Jesus!

:hi:

[Supply Side Jesus]

11. Thank you Dembones!

thanks for the welcome!

[alphafemale]

14. Supply Side Jesus!

:hi:

Funny stuff.

[oldcoot]

10. I am sorry that you feel bad

I wish there is something that I could say to make you feel better and give you some comfort. Just know that I will be thinking about you.

[Rhiannon12866]

12. I know how you feel about driving

I have night blindness and the thought of driving any distance at night scares the hell out of me. One night, when I had a severe asthma attack, I took a circuitous route to the ER because I took a circuitous route that was well-lit.:-(

As for your child, get yourself together and see him when you reasonably can. No one can do everything. In the meantime, I care about how you're feeling. I know I would feel the same way and I don't cry, either. It has never managed to solve anything for me.:shrug:

[roguevalley]

13. Honey, you need to unload on someone who is sitting right in front of you.

Barring that, get to a doctor and get an evaluation. It
sounds like you are very, very sad and depressed. If you
don't take the edge off, you will not have the strength
and umph to take care of yourself.

Your baby will be okay. Kids do that sort of thing. It
wouldn't have helped if you had been there, prevention
wise. Hugs from mom-wise? Priceless.

Don't beat yourself up, honey. Get some relief. Get some
medication until you can stand on your own two feet again
and don't keep hurting yourself with what ifs and stuff.
This too will pass. Just help yourself through it, honey.

Hugs and keep posting to us.

RV

[Rhiannon12866]

15. Let us know how you're doing, AlienGirl!

Nights can be really rough and very long. I've been there. And I care.:hi:

[AlienGirl]

21. Update

Well, I talked to Ry yesterday--he is doing fine and looking forward to having a cast *and* a wheelchair at school. He isn't bummed out about being off his feet; he said, "I can just zip around in my chair faster than I can walk!"

Also, he used the breathing and visualization pain-control methods I taught him during his hospital visit. The doctors and nurses were all impressed, and I'm so proud of him for remembering how to do it when it *really* matters!

Jag extended a rare offer of emotional support to me last night, and hugged me for a while. (He doesn't "do" emotions--if it can't be solved by tactical decision-making, he's at a loss.) Ulex and Effie and I horsed around in the kitchen and made dinner, then we all sat on the couch and I put my feet up on Jag (after he said he was gonna blame me for something) and rested a while.

I feel a lot better now. The kid's OK, no serious physical damage, no apparent psychological trauma; and my roomies really did notice I was hurting.

Tucker

[Rhiannon12866]

22. I am so pleased for you, AlienGirl! This sounds like the best possible

outcome for a difficult and tense situation. Your child is in good spirits, your ex was caring and your roomies sound really supportive. I am glad for you and even gladder that you brought this to DU, where you know people care 24/7. Keep us updated!:hi:

[regnaD kciN]

16. Friday night...

Tucker, I'm hoping that the fact we haven't heard from you since yesterday means that you found a way to get to wherever Riley is.

:grouphug:

[Skittles]

17. Tucker

you need to stop beating yourself up. YOU ARE DOING THE BEST YOU CAN. Your son knows you care.

[grasswire]

18. I know the feeling...

....my daughter had a roller skating accident when she was with her dad in Chicago and I was in Washington. She had a terrible ankle fracture requiring surgery. I wasn't there. I was a basket case. Years later, she only knows that I am the one who helped with physical therapy and her limitations every day for years, day in day out. I'm the one who waits on her when her ankle aches (it's arthritic now). Your son won't remember this moment -- a mother's devotion is forever.

[Shanty Oilish]

19. Can you talk to him on the phone?

And then write. Then he knows you ARE there for him, even at a distance.

[Swede]

20. oh hun just hang in.

.I have no anwers,maybe family are around? Are any ofus DUer there. Please don't think you're alone honey. Call up a cuz or something.
Or call someone right here on DU.