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I was just called "obsessed" by my best friend

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Meme Donating Member (233 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 03:53 PM
Original message
I was just called "obsessed" by my best friend
because I spend time following the American and Iraqi news, while I´m not American or from Iraq. Just because I´m not American or from Iraq I´m not allowed to care what happens over there??? She really pissed me off. She spends hours and hours talking about what cookies she likes, about her friends, about some stupid brad Pitt movie, and yeah.. so do I, I talk about my shoes all day long, but once in a while I really feel the need to talk about stuff that actually matters.

You know that feeling that you feel like you wanna change the whole entire world and make it better.. even just a little bit? Some people say every young person has that need, that desire to make the world a better place, to change it in a good way. But when you grow older you become less naive and so that need will go away eventually. Looking at the world around me, there is just so much going on, and I know I´m never going to change any of that, but I just can´t stop caring. It really gets me. And for that I´m being called obsessed. Sometimes people just seem so shallow. I don´t know if this whole "every young person feels the need to make the world a better place, it will blow over eventually"-theory is true, but for now: I´m just so glad I found this site, because here it isn't about damn cookies all freaking day long!!!
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Danger Duck Donating Member (464 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 03:55 PM
Response to Original message
1. How do
you feel about Lohan?
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KurtNYC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 03:56 PM
Response to Original message
2. 'Obsessed' is the pejorative word for 'passionate'
And passion is a good thing.
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MonkeyFunk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 04:00 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. Unless you're overly "passionate" about Jody Foster, some would argue.
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 03:58 PM
Response to Original message
3. For some of us, it never goes away.
I don't know why-- I'm in the process right now of changing my life because I think I've figured out a way I can really Make A Difference.... and I'm 35.

I don't WANT it to go away!

I'm sure your friend is quite nice, but she sounds, well, kinda shallow. :shrug: I have different friends for different things, you know, political friends, movie friends, girlchat friends... but my political friends are the ones who are closest to my heart.

You should get involved with some local political club -- you'd meet a lotta folks similar to DU'ers there! :)
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Meme Donating Member (233 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 04:21 PM
Response to Reply #3
9. I never thought of it as a bad thing
and I don´t really want it to go away either. I´m 19 and there´s so much I wanna do with my life that I just have no idea where to start. And because of that I´ve ended up doing nothing (how weird is that?). I´m in school (studying to be a vet), but I know that´s not what I wanna do with my life. What I wanna do.. I´m just not sure yet.
I think it´s so cool that you´ve figured out a way though! And willing to change your life, I really admire you for that!

And about my friend: the funny thing is that she was the one that almost forced me to go see Fahrenheit, which really opened my eyes. So she´s not really shallow, it´s just that.. after a while she get´s bored and she doesn´t care anymore. She was interested about everything happening in Iraq en the US while Fahrenheit was playing in theaters, but after a few weeks she just stopped caring. And I´m like: just because there is no Michael Moore movie currently doesn´t mean that the problem is solved, you know. People are still living in a true hell over there, how can you just stop caring like that? Do you only care about those people when some loud guy makes a movie and you just forget about it when the movie appears on dvd?
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 07:00 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. The trick about figuring out what to do with your life
is just to pick a good place to start and go with it, then make adjustments. I know when I was in college I was practically paralysed with wanting to pick the Best Thing Ever. Well, I still don't know exactly want I wanna be anymore but I'm having a lot of fun trying different things. And strangely enough it's all managed to fit in and sort of naturally lead one thing to another.

</philosophy lecture> :P
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Meme Donating Member (233 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-23-04 03:19 AM
Response to Reply #12
16. so things happen for a reason?
at least in your case it seems to be like that :D may I ask what exactly you´ve figured out for yourself which made you change your life?
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-23-04 02:46 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. Well, there are many different KINDS of good work that you can do,
you know, art and roadbuilding and mediation and working for the homeless and journalism and cooking and a bazillion other things all contribute to the -- what shall I say -- rising tide of goodness. Ya know? I always had a problem choosing because I could see so many good and wonderful things to do and how each one of them contributed to the positivity in the world.

So I didn't choose, in the sense of "I'm going to do THIS for the rest of my life." I travelled for a few years and when I came back I really needed a job so I just got one. And actually the job I wound up getting in corporate America taught me a LOT about myself -- go figure. And so now I'm finally at a point where I know who I am, what my skills are, what I can do, what I *like* doing, and I have a new choice that I'm probably going to go back to school and continue just trying to fight the good fight! I always had sort of a "oh, I'm so mellow and laid back and healing" kind of self-image -- which is certainly an element of my personality -- but, come to find, I'm really pretty much of a fighter and I'll be most happy somewhere that I can *fight* -- either that, or I'm just getting crankier as I get older. :)

So, it's time to do something else -- either that or go off and live in a cave and try for Enlightenment. I'm always sort of half-considering that one. :P
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Meme Donating Member (233 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-23-04 05:43 PM
Response to Reply #18
20. same here
I´ve had trouble with choosing for the last two years, and that may not seem like a long time, but I´m talking about thinking about what I wanna do with my life every single day, for two whole years, and I still haven´t figured it out. (before that I also didn´t know what I wanted to do, but I was so young that I didn´t really cared about it yet).Maybe I´ll figure it out on the way, just kinda sucks that going to college is kinda expensive and I really can´t afford to go to college again, and find out that that´s not what I wanna do for the rest of my life AGAIN. You know this site made me think about studying journalism again. I´ve thought about becoming a journalist before, but seeing what´s going on in America with the media ignoring vital information, only showing the stories they like, really made me reconsider that.

And I do believe you are a fighter. You sure seem to care enough. I think that might be the most important thing that makes someone a fighter anyway. You´re willing to change your life, that pretty much says enough if you ask me. I hope you´re gonna kick some ass out there :D
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Tandalayo_Scheisskopf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 03:58 PM
Response to Original message
4. You stay informed and clued in.
Edited on Wed Dec-22-04 03:59 PM by Tandalayo_Scheisskop
She, on the other hand, is on the fast track to nothing. Just Drone World.

From your post, I would guess that you are a woman and relatively young, at least younger than me. Well, let me hit you with a pleasant little clue-by-four: A better class of men(and women) are attracted to intelligent, informed, witty and erudite members of whichever chromosomal group they find attractive.

Those who become drones do not attract higher quality mate material. Hence, they are relegated to lifetimes as grocery recycling units and punching bags.

Stupid ain't cute. It's just stupid.
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 04:01 PM
Response to Original message
6. Yeah I get that from time to time
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VaYallaDawg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 04:01 PM
Response to Original message
7. Wanting to know what is going on in the world is not obsession.
Or if it is, then I've been obsessed since about 1950. Anyone who can express themselves as eloquently as you do needs to hang in there and help make this world a better place, because you obviously care a lot!
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el_gato Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 04:02 PM
Response to Original message
8. You owe it to yourself to be informed

ignorant people are easy to take advantage of

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Goathead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 04:45 PM
Response to Original message
10. This post is a testament to your obsession
If you weren't obsessed you would have never paid any attention to your friends comments. Sounds like your obsession is transgressing into mania.

Just kidding, I just wanted to practice some pop psychology on you, thanks.:hi:
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frictionlessO Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 05:09 PM
Response to Original message
11. so peanut butter or chocolate chip???
Everyone here has said what I would've, be obsessed about this it is a very good thing, even better than cookies!

yummay yummay obsessions!
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 07:06 PM
Response to Original message
13. Your friend has bought into the distracted lifestyle
Edited on Wed Dec-22-04 07:07 PM by SoCalDem
Lots of people are like this.. They live a surface life.. They are interested in small things..cookies, decor, movie stars, fashions, etc.

Madison Avenue created this type of person, and until something hits home, they are happily distracted by "stuff"..

Perhaps they are just afraid of "knowing things", because once they "know", they cannot continue to ignore it.

I have known people who have said they enjoy "not knowing" what's bad, because as long as they don't know about it, they don't have to DO anything about it..

Lots of women "know" their husband cheats on them, but if they break the silence, their lives will change, so they just sit tight, and spend years with a cheating husband..

Ignorance of the world's problems are very much like that:(
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Meme Donating Member (233 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-23-04 03:16 AM
Response to Reply #13
15. I agree that once they "know"
they can´t continue to ignore it, but in this case there isn´t really anything you can DO about it. A woman with a cheating husband could leave him, kick his ass, throw him out, DO something. But I don´t think there´s really anything you can do to end a war. But maybe you´re right, it´s easier to ignore something sometimes, and maybe it´s because she can´t do anything about it that she doesn´t really seem to care.
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-23-04 03:21 AM
Response to Reply #13
17. "knowing things", The Velveteen Rabbit
Your post reminded me of it,

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
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Meme Donating Member (233 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-23-04 05:45 PM
Response to Reply #17
21. wow. I like it :D
it´s so true.
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City of Mills Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-22-04 07:48 PM
Response to Original message
14. She probably wouldn't make a comment like that
If she wasn't so intimidated that you would know more than her about something. :eyes:
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miss_kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-23-04 02:52 PM
Response to Original message
19. Maybe your 'friend' is mistaking
'focus on important issues' for 'obsession' because your focus and self-education makes her uncomfortable. She feels your knowledge will somehow diminish her, and seeks to put you down and keep you in your place.

Really, with friends like that, you aren't in need of enemies.

Keep striving for more knowledge. :thumbsup:
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