Post your favorite Christmas song lyrics

[CatWoman]

Artist
Perry Como Lyrics

Title
Christmas Dream (1974 Version)

Watch me now, here I go, all I needs a little snow!
Starts me off, sets the theme, helps me dream my Christmas dream,
Every year I dream it, hoping things will change,
An end to the crying, the shouting, the dying,
And I hope you will dream it too!
Its Christmas,
Remember?
Weve got to remember!

So, light the light, Im home tonight,
I need you to warm me, to calm me, to love me!
To help me to dream my Christmas dream!

Crazy things, said an done,
Every single day but one!
Every night should, I believe,
Be the same as Christmas Eve,
Nights should all be silent,
Days should all slow down,
An end to the hurry, the noise and the worry!
And I hope you believe that too!
Its Christmas,
Remember?
Does no one remember?

The whole world needs, a Christmas dream,
We need it to warm us, to calm us, to love us,
To help us to dream our Christmas dream!

[Kathy in Cambridge]

1. Jingle bells

Santa smells
Rudolph laid an egg
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a beat up Chevrolet!

:evilgrin:

[CatWoman]

2. You been hanging around with Bart Simpson?

:D

[AntiCoup2K4]

3. What if Eminem did Jingle Bells?

What If Eminem Did Jingle Bells (Uncensored)

(Parody of Parody of Jingle Bells)

(Yo Yo)

(Jingle bells, jingle bells, jinglin’ all the way,
Oh what fun it is to ride from Detroit to East LA)

Is this a white Christmas,
Hell no my man,
I’m leavin’ blood in the snow
And smackin’ fat men
You mean Santa?
That boys’ a bitch
He caught my mom Christmas Eve and tried to give her a kiss
For real, he’s no joke, the guy don’t play
He tried to ride way more than a one- horse sleigh
Laughin all the way, but he’s not laughin’ today
We’ll jingle more than hisbells
Even the elves will pay

Come Christmas Eve,
Ol’ Nick’s a gonner
We’ll be snackin’ on deer,
Eatin’ Blitzen and Donner
Not a question of when not even a maybe
Have a drunk Miss Claus
“Say they jinglin, baby!”
givin’ new meaning to “Ho ho ho”
Shake that ass girl
bumpin’ booty in the snow
So watch out Santa, you jolly old troll
We’ll be strippin’ that sleigh
And leave you the coal

(Jingle bells, jingle bells, jinglin’ all the way,
Oh what fun it is to ride in a drop-top Chevrolet
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jinglin’ all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride from Detroit to East LA)

You playin’ reindeer games?
Hell, yeah my friend…
Grab Rudolph’s horns and see how far they bend
When his nose turns red
His ass gets sent back out to the woods with his faggy elf Randall
Santa Claus wouldn’t list me as nice,
In fact he’ll have me listed as naughty twice,
Not cause of the fights or Christmas gift heist
But because of all the nog got left on his wife
It’s time for Old Nick to move and retire
Before we roast his nuts on a big ass fire
Yes I’m that bad
Yes I ‘m that crude
I mean your ass is huge
Lose weight for real dude’
All the cookies in your mouth,
Simply quite sick
I mean, when’s the last time you seen your dick?
I don’t to throw a fit, and I’m not one to bitch,
But every year, I get underwear, socks and shit.

(Jingle bells, jingle bells, jinglin’ all the way,
(Check it out, Jingle these bells, baby)
Oh what fun it is to ride in a drop-top Chevrolet
(Yeah, you know what I’m saying, I am gonna bring to you, blow it out, word up, like this, like this)
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jinglin’ all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride from Detroit to East LA)

(Jingle bells, jingle bells, jinglin’ all the way,
Oh what fun it is to ride in a drop-top Chevrolet
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jinglin’ all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride from Detroit to East LA)

[Boswells_Johnson]

4. Christmas With The Devil, by Spinal Tap

:)

The elves are dressed in leather
And the angels are in chains
(Christmas with the Devil)

The sugar plums are rancid
And the stockings are in flames
(Christmas with the Devil)

There's a demon in my belly
And a gremlin in my brain
There's someone up the chimney hole
And Satan is his name

The rats ate all the presents
And the reindeer ran away
(Christmas with the Devil)

There'll be no Father Christmas
'Cause it's Evils holiday
(Christmas with the Devil)

No bells in Hell
No snow below-
Silent Night, Violent Night

So come all ye unfaithful
Don't be left out in the cold
You don't need no invitation, no...
Your ticket is your soul

[SOteric]

5. La Befana

Viene viene la Befana,
vien dai monti a notte fonda.
Come è stanca! La circonda
neve, gelo e tramontana.
Viene viene la Befana.

Ha le mani al petto in croce,
e la neve è il suo mantello
ed il gelo il suo pannello
ed il vento la sua voce.
Ha le mani al petto in croce.

E s’accosta piano piano
alla villa, al casolare,
a guardare, ad ascoltare
or più presso or più lontano.
Piano piano, piano piano.

Che c’è dentro questa villa?
Uno stropiccìo leggero.
Tutto è cheto, tutto è nero.
Un lumino passa e brilla.
Che c’è dentro questa villa?

Guarda e guarda...tre lettini
con tre bimbi a nanna, buoni.
guarda e guarda...ai capitoni
c’è tre calze lunghe e fini.
Oh! tre calze e tre lettini.

Il lumino brilla e scende,
e ne scricchiolan le scale;
il lumino brilla e sale,
e ne palpitan le tende.
Chi mai sale? Chi mai scende?

Co’ suoi doni mamma è scesa,
sale con il suo sorriso.
Il lumino le arde in viso
come lampada di chiesa.
Co’ suoi doni mamma è scesa.

La Befana alla finestra
sente e vede, e s’allontana.
Passa con la tramontana,
passa per la via maestra,
trema ogni uscio, ogni finestra.

E che c’è nel casolare?
Un sospiro lungo e fioco.
Qualche lucciola di fuoco
brilla ancor nel focolare.
Ma che c’è nel casolare?

Guarda e guarda... tre strapunti
con tre bimbi a nanna, buoni.
Tra la cenere e i carboni
c’è tre zoccoli consunti.
Oh! tre scarpe e tre strapunti...

E la mamma veglia e fila
sospirando e singhiozzando,
e rimira a quando a quando
oh! quei tre zoccoli in fila...
Veglia e piange, piange e fila.

La Befana vede e sente;
fugge al monte, ch’è l’aurora.
Quella mamma piange ancora
su quei bimbi senza niente.
La Befana vede e sente.

La Befana sta sul monte.
Ciò che vede è ciò che vide:
c’è chi piange e c’è chi ride;
essa ha nuvoli alla fronte,
mentre sta sull’aspro monte.


Buon Natale!

[AntiCoup2K4]

6. Christmastime in HELL

(a song for those of you in the red states..... :evilgrin: )

String up the lights and light up the tree
We're going to make some revelry
Spirits are high, so I can tell
It's Christmas time in hell!

Demons are nicer as you pass them by
There's lots of demon toys to buy
The snow is falling and all is well
It's Christmastime in hell!

There goes Jeffery Dahmer,
With a festive Christmas ham
After he has sex with it,
He'll eat up all he can.

And there goes John F. Kennedy
Caroling with his son
Reunited for the holidays
God bless us, everyone!

Everybody has a happy glow
Let's dance in blood and pretend its snow
Even Mao Tse-Tung is under the spell
It's Christmas time in hell!

Adolf, here's a present for you.

Hitler: Oh? O Tannenbaum!

Satan: Yes, O Tannenbaum!

God cast me down from Heaven's door
To rule in hell for evermore
But now I'm kinda glad that I fell
'Cause It's Christmas time in hell!

Here's a rack to hang the stockings on
We still have to shop for Genghis Kahn!
Michael Landon's hair looks swell!
It's Christmas time in hell!

There's Princess Diana
Holding burning mistletoe
Over poor Gene Siskel's head
Just watch his weenie grow!

For one day we all stop burning
And the flames are not so thick
All the screaming and the torture stops
As we wait for old Saint Nick!

So string up the lights and light up the tree
We're damned for all eternity
But for just one day all is well
It's Christmas time in hell!

We've got to toast together, and make it quick!
We've gotta make room for Andy Dick.
Wake his mother and ring the bell

It's Christmas time...

(Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time...)

Christmas time...

(Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time...)

It's Christmas time in hell! :evilgrin:

[Danmel]

7. Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses

"Bah, humbug!" No, that's too strong
'Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy

To add to my already mad rush
Just 'cause it's 'tis the season.
The perfect gift for me would be
Completions and connections left from

Last year, ski shop,
Encounter, most interesting.
Had his number but never the time
Most of '81 passed along those lines.

So deck those halls, trim those trees
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer,
I just need to catch my breath,
Christmas by myself this year.

Calendar picture, frozen landscape,
Chilled this room for twenty-four days,
Evergreens, sparkling snow
Get this winter over with!

Flashback to springtime, saw him again,
Would've been good to go for lunch,
Couldn't agree when we were both free,
We tried, we said we'd keep in touch.

Didn't, of course, 'til summertime,
Out to the beach to his boat could I join him?
No, this time it was me,
Sunburn in the third degree.

Now the calendar's just one page
And, of course, I am excited
Tonight's the night, but I've set my mind
Not to do too much about it.

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.

Hardly dashing through the snow
Cause I bundled up too tight
Last minute have-to-do's
A few cards a few calls
'Cause it's r-s-v-p
No thanks, no party lights
It's Christmas Eve, gonna relax
Turned down all of my invites.

Last fall I had a night to myself,
Same guy called, halloween party,
Waited all night for him to show,
This time his car wouldn't go,

Forget it, it's cold, it's getting late,
Trudge on home to celebrate
In a quiet way, unwind
Doing Christmas right this time.

A&P has provided me
With the world's smallest turkey
Already in the oven, nice and hot
Oh damn! Guess what I forgot?

So on with the boots, back out in the snow
To the only all-night grocery,
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year!

"I'm spending this one alone," he said.
"Need a break; this year's been crazy."
I said, "Me too, but why are you?
You mean you forgot cranberries too?"

Then suddenly we laughed and laughed
Caught on to what was happening
That Christmas magic's brought this tale
To a very happy ending! "

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!




Copyright ©2002-2004 LyricsBox.com

[mcscajun]

8. Tom Lehrer's "A Christmas Carol"

Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly.
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say when.

Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens.
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.

On Christmas Day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore.
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.

Relations, sparing no expense, 'll
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
("Just the thing I need, how nice!")

It doesn't matter how sincere it is,
Nor how heart felt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
What's important is the price.

Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry merchants,
May ye make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high,
Tell us to go out and buy!

So, let the raucous sleighbells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Don't stand underneath when they fly by.

[billie_]

9. not a country music fan, but these Dixie Chick's xmas lyrics are hilarious

Merry Christmas From The Family
from Another Rosie Christmas album

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
At our Christmas party
We were drinkin' champagne punch
And homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him
'Til he sang Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
From his second wife MaryNell
Of course he brought his new wife Kaye
Who talks all about AA
Chain smokin' while the stereo plays
Noel, Noel, The first Noel

Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motorhome in 
They blew our Christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night
Oh Silent Night

Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
Make Bloody Marys cause we all want one
Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Dite Sprite
A box of tampons and some Salem Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

[Mandate My Ass]

10. any Christmas carol that contains the words: dread, fear, bitter tears,

and most inspirationally, the clanging chimes of doom is right up my nostalgia alley:



Do they know it's Christmastime

It's Christmastime
There's no need to be afraid
At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime

But say a prayer

Pray for the other ones
At Christmastime it's hard, but when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging
chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
(Oooh) Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

(Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone
(Here's to them) underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Feed the world
Feed the world

Feed the world

Let them know it's Christmastime again

Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime again

Disclaimer: I actually love this song and have bittersweet memories of that year for the famine and the response to it in the musical world, among other places.