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Miracle!! Dead Chicken Resurrected By Jesus!

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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-26-03 09:29 AM
Original message
Miracle!! Dead Chicken Resurrected By Jesus!
http://www.randi.org/jr/092603.html



<SNIP>

Reader Tony Perkins in Australia has pointed out a trick that certain evangelist/faith healers have been known to employ — aside from the communicator-in-the-ear, and the leg-lengthening stunt. The famous Jan Crouch, who recently opted to undergo regular surgery rather than relying on Jesus — as she'd urged her followers to do — has now been advertising her "miraculous" recovery. But Jan is known to have brought chickens back to life by prayer! The highly successful televangelist Benny Hinn even claims that it was Jan's performance of this miracle that propelled him into the ministry. Explains Tony:

Anyone living in a farming environment, as Jan did, would have encountered the chicken "back to life" party-trick. The key is to first "kill" the unfortunate bird, out of sight — of course — of the audience, by stroking it in a slow, rhythmic manner along its back, from neck to tail. With the "dead" bird (usually "just run over by a car," or whatever) having been brought into the room, accompanied by a great deal of histrionics, the resurrection takes place. After a minute or two, during which prayers are offered up to Doctor Jesus, and the Oral Roberts version of the magic right-hand is laid on, the chicken "comes back to life" and runs off. Quite impressive when first seen. Usually the farm kids are called on to perform the trick to entertain guests and friends; those in the know naturally pretend to be amazed, as I'm sure the not very perceptive Benny Hinn was at that formative time in his career.

Ms. Crouch could hide another live chicken in that hair, and still have room for a duck or two....

< MORE... http://www.randi.org/jr/092603.html >

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Brucey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-26-03 09:33 AM
Response to Original message
1. You spoiler! Now you've ruined the fun.
You should be very ashamed of yourself. Just because some of the chickens were alive doesn't mean they all were. I suppose you're going to say that magicians can't actually levitate people either! Damn liberals spoiling everything. Don't you have any faith at all??
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TioDiego Donating Member (409 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-26-03 09:38 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. There are other ways of reviving chickens
as anyone who has ever been to a cockfight knows.
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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-26-03 09:39 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. Cock Fight? Did Someone Mention Cock Fight?
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wtmusic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-26-03 09:35 AM
Response to Original message
2. I prayed for my McDonald's Grilled Chicken Sandwich
but nothing happened.
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BlueJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-26-03 09:43 AM
Response to Reply #2
6. Geez....wtmusic...rotflmao!
:)
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Tandalayo_Scheisskopf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-26-03 09:40 AM
Response to Original message
5. Oh Sweet Jebus!
She looks like Hell!
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pansypoo53219 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-26-03 10:17 AM
Response to Reply #5
7. they needed
someone to take Tammy Fayes place and Boy did they find one.

and don't call me till Jesus revives a cat.
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TreasonousBastard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-26-03 11:52 AM
Response to Original message
8. OK, my knowledge of...
televangelists is apparently sorely lacking, and I had to goggle up Ms. Crotch.

YIKES! A seminar on "Christian Liposuction" and it went downhill from there.

I just posted something depressing about foreign trade, and now this.

We, as a nation, are surely doomed.

If you have any savings, convert them to euros immediately and get ready to run.

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