He was my Christmas gift...he has no illusion left. He is like me

[northamericancitizen]

we are old dogs, who had seen a lot and by miracle we met and we connected...

But... Fuck


I am too drunk anyway.

sorry guys my 1st post in Du lounge and I am not even sober. Me the brainy woman, me the walking computer (my sister calls me that way) here I am writing in public about that fucking macho who woke up my body and my heart.

Nothing else to say except that you guys have been my friends for the last few months..

And who gives a fucking flying shit about love anyway.

Lise

Your northern neighbor.

[neweurope]

1. I congratulate you :)

I was pretty old when I met my man... we've been together for 13 years now. I cross my fingers that you'll have a beautiful life together.
Best wishes from Germany :)

[northamericancitizen]

3. Its nice that you took the time to answer. I am not to sure there is

Message:
a future for that man and myself. Sure I let him woke up my body. Sure I have let his tenderness meet mine... but I think that his hang ups (alcohol, machismo, dope etc) and my hang ups (gambling, machismo, alcohol, etc) will be in the way.

Who knows.

I told him on Chrimas eve, everything we say or do in his appt. is for real. but outside none of it matters. Nothing can be quoted as real and or taken for granted.

the thing is that I know I am scared shitless as much as he is.

I am definitively drunk...

Not enough to not know what I am talking about but enough to not realized that I am showing my soul without its usual armor.


A future for me and that man...

But I Thank you, Neweurope.

If it is not this time, maybe one day it will be true again. You know, that special connection where not only the bodies meet, but where the heart and the soul meet with the urgency we feel in our body.

God... I felt so privileged and happy that I had met somebody to whom I could show my vulnerability... The last 4 years I had put a lid on my sexuality. (according to my 2 sisters, this is supposed to be the essence of my being...)

Enough talking and analyzing, that man got to me!!!.


I have been a business woman for years. I have been a feminist before my time. I am not in business anymore and my definition of a feminist did changed in the last few years.

Now the only way I want to be and the only way I am defining myself is to say that I am a woman who knows what she needs, what she stands for and what she can deal with.


I am nobody's sweetheart. Nobody's protege, nobody's protector.

Fuck!!!

Can a woman be her own self, assertive, direct, fucked up etc. Sexy, sensuous and in need of a real connection without having to go through the fucking explanation that I don't need a man to come and take over.

I have been taking charge of my own life, the one of my children the ones of my exes, the one of my former employees and my families.

Doesn't matter if I say all that, He, "the man" has to prove to me that he can take care of me. Fuck that!!! I do not want or need somebody to take care of me. I want a man who can be bothered to tell me to slow down. A man who can tell me to shut up with a kiss so I can stop thinking. A man who can touch my body with pleasure and generosity. Coming or nor not is not the primary goal.


I kind of got carried away.


I am not sorry thou. I needed to express myself.

I want to thank you for being a witness even thou I don't know and may not know if you were an enthusiastic or a reluctant witness.



Lise from Québec city Canada

[roguevalley]

2. love is good, honey. love is very, very good. :)

[northamericancitizen]

4. TY Roguevalley. Sometimes this a price attached to it thou...n/t