Help me create a commercial for my new gigolo business.

[short bus president]

I'm picturing a few smartly-filmed testimoanials from satisfied clients (or paid endorsers if business is slow starting off), plus music. I think a gigolo service DEFINITELY needs a theme song. Any ideas in that regard much appreciated. All I can come up with is that obnoxious "Henry VIII" song, which really doesn't even make any sense.

[FuzzySlippers]

1. Paid endorsers?

I need some fast cash.

[short bus president]

2. So you can afford to hire me, right?

;-)

[FuzzySlippers]

6. Sure, I'd hire you in a heartbeat,

but I think Miss Jimmy wouldn't like it. Don't want her to get mad at me. Pretty sure she could beat up someone named FuzzySlippers.

[short bus president]

11. Shhhhhhhhh...

Don't tell anybody - Miss Jimmy's gonna be my, erm... accountant. ;-)

[JimmyJazz]

15. Ahem! That's not what you whispered in my ear last night!

Jeez! Your accountant! You told me I was gonna be CEO! Bite me, short bus....

[short bus president]

19. If YOU'RE CEO, what does that make me?

gunslinger?

[JimmyJazz]

20. erm, it makes you my beeatch -- or haven't you been paying attention?

BTW - I have this little knot on the side of my neck...could you get that for me, please? No...a little more to the left....over....over....ahhhh, yes right there... :7

[short bus president]

21. yassum.

:P

[JimmyJazz]

16. BTW - I would never be mad at you and

FTR - I could beat the snot outta you (if I hired Skittles to do it for me, of course) :P

[Maddy McCall]

3. Brick house. Use the chicka mow mow part.

[short bus president]

5. You sure?

How 'bout the "oom bop a mao mao" part from that song "Elvira?"

:D

[Maddy McCall]

8. Yes! Giddyup aloomp bop aloomp bop A mao mao, Giddyup!

and you can wear some cheesy fake fur chaps and hold a riding crop.

Bet you'll get the business, then. :-)

[short bus president]

12. Fur chaps?

I prefer leather, but maybe there's room for negotiation here. How are you on suede?

;-)

[Maddy McCall]

13. Only if they are red, with big white fur stars on them.

And, we'll have to change what you hold. A riding crop in your left hand and a vibrating appliance in your right. Neon blue. :-)

[AlCzervik]

4. Call me worked nicley for Richard Gere

maybe you can use that or someting close to that if you can't afford Blondie. Now about these "Paid endorsers" i dont like the sound of it, Ed McMahon comes to mind and i don't think you want to try and sell your service reminding people of Ed. Hey Ladies by the Beastie Boys might also be a good fit but i'm sure that'll cost but then again it takes money to make money right?

[short bus president]

7. Wilford Brimley all the damn way!

"Hi. I'm Wilford Brimley. I'm 99 years old, and sitting uncomfortably atop a horse. When I need diabetes supplies, I call *company X*, but when I need some hot man love like only a cromulent gigolo can provide, I call Bus Rides, Inc."

Theme song? "Tumbling Tumbleweeds."

;-)

[AlCzervik]

9. How about "Ride the short Bus"

oh wait a minute, that implies something not so great when you think about in a sex way.

[Maddy McCall]

10. How about..."Doxidan, Doxidan, when nature needs a helping hand."

;-)

[GoddessOfGuinness]

14. Don't forget the Jello

Get it? Jiggle-O?

[short bus president]

17. Oy - never say "jiggle"

to a paunchy 30-year-old man contemplating nekkidity!

:P

[kodi]

18. "Pole Cat Escorts (PCE): We stalk the night and leave our mark."

"Call PCE when you need a piece"