Lounge Joke Thread?

[cheezus]

anyone else got a joker in the family? I came back from christmas with a few good ones.

[cheezus]

1. Lena's home naked

Ole comes home from work early one day and finds his wife Lena running around the house without any clothes on

"Lena! Whatcha doin' runnin round naked?" says Ole

"Ach, Ole. I ain't got nothin to wear!" replies Lena

"Oh, sure ya does", Ole says going to her closet, "Lookey here. One dress, two dress, three dress, four dress, hi Lars, five dress..."

[cheezus]

2. How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, one to screw in the bulb and another to hold the penis.

I mean ladder!

[rock]

3. That was good!

I actually LOLed. Thanks

[cheezus]

4. that was the one that made my joker uncle-in-law nearly piss himself

he always comes armed with a bunch of jokes, so this year I was ready for him.

[rbnyc]

5. What do Viagra and a Dirt Devil have in common?

They both put the power of an upright into the palm of your hand.

:evilgrin:

Did you hear about the Mother that found some S/M magazines in her daughters bedroom? When her husband got home she asked "What are we going to do?" He said, "I dunno, but I don't think spanking will help!"

:crazy:

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor comes out with the results.

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."

"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"

"Ten," the doctor says sadly.

"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?"

"Nine..."

:P

So ... Did ya hear about the cowboy who walked into the saloon in an outfit made entirely of paper?

Yeah, they hanged him for rustlin'.

:shrug:

Did you hear about the man who had sex with his canary?
Came down with a case of chirpies.
Yeah, and the worst part is, it's untweetable.

:hi:

[paula777]

6. Why was Tigger looking in the toilet ?

He was looking for Pooh

[redqueen]

7. I have a joke, but it's sexist and rags men...

so ... some guy PM me and I'll send it to ya, then you can tell it.