Ack! I've lost it. Once I was good - no, GREAT - now I suck.

[yvr girl]

My dishes, while not quite calling my name, were looking at me reproachfully as if to say, "Wash us, or we'll will your mother to make a surprise visit." I caved. You would to.

But being the procrastinator that I am, I decided to abuse the wall with the flick of my towel - I wanted to hear that distinctive "SNAP". Nothing. I tried again. No joy.

As my brothers would attest, I wielded a mean towel in my day. A little sister has to develop a few weapons or spend her life tied to a pole in the basement. I caused more than a few welts. Now I can't even manage to generate a little snap.

I'm so depressed. The thrill is gone.

And I didn't even get those kitchen elves I wanted for Christmas.

[StopTheMorans]

1. wet the corner of the towel, and roll it from one corner diaganolly to the

other. you can leave purple welts like that :evilgrin:

[yvr girl]

4. Don't you think I KNOW this?

I was good. It's the wrist action. It's off.

:hi:

[StopTheMorans]

5. maybe you could get one of those wrist thingies that bowlers use?

:shrug: :hi:

[yvr girl]

10. I think that would make it worse

Don't bowlers try and keep their wrists still?

(Not that I should make any such assumption - I've always sucked at bowling.)

[AngryAmish]

24. I was a caddy

Rattails (the wet rolled up towel) was the weapon of choice for some years.

Then some guy got the idea to tie a really tight knot and soak that end in water. Voila, the "Conan Ball" was invented. Variations included putting golf balls in the knot or freezing the towel. These variations were deemed illegal in the caddy yard wars much like the Japanese deemed gunpowder illegal before the Black Ships arrived.

But, a well placed shot could close an eye or break a nose. Ahhh, the good old days...

[GOPisEvil]

2. Your elves wouldn't respect you.

If you can't snap a towel, chaos will reign! It's best that the elves didn't show up. They'd have run all over you. It wouldn't have been pretty.

[yvr girl]

3. I could lock them in the closet.

Besides they would still be on their best behaviour while they were getting the lay of the land.

[GOPisEvil]

7. But they would bum rush you as soon as you open the door.

Elves are crafty.

[yvr girl]

11. I've got the crocodile tear thing down pat

Aren't elves rendered helpless by the sight of someone crying?

[GOPisEvil]

13. Perhaps...but there's always one cynical elf.

If you can sway that one, you're all set.

[yvr girl]

14. I was quite the little drama queen in my day

Family legend has it that I got a dress for Christmas that I hated so much my parents returned it. I wasn't even 2 yet. Being the only girl in the family had a few advantages.

[GOPisEvil]

15. Being the baby didn't hurt either, I suppose.

;-)

[yvr girl]

16. I never had a run-in with the law either.

Also, I did pretty cute things. How can you resist a 7 year old who plays blackjack with her stuffed animals.

[GOPisEvil]

17. Did you have a green visor too?

;-)

[yvr girl]

18. Visors don't work well with pigtails

[GOPisEvil]

19. Pigtails, too?

*overdoses on cute*

[yvr girl]

20. Pigtails with ringlets

I'll call the doctor.

[GOPisEvil]

21. Oh dear...

...call an ambulance!

[yvr girl]

22. You should have seen me for the skating show

I'm pretty sure I was a grasshopper - but definitely a bug of some sort. Pigtails with ringlets and antennas. Green outfit with wings. Do grasshoppers have wings? It was a long time ago.

[GOPisEvil]

23. I can't take anymore cute!!!!

I'm off to the grocery store! :hi:

[redqueen]

6. I guess I've always sucked, then.

I could never do that. Now I want to go home and try again... maybe I don't suck anymore!

[yvr girl]

8. If you took my special skills

so help me, I'll SNAP you so hard....oh...ya...I can't.

Just tie me to a pole in the basement and call it 'babysitting' like me brother did. :-(

[RayOfHope]

9. Maybe you should have asked

for a Bathroom Monkey instead of those kitchen elves. Anyone remember that commercial from SNL?

Monkey hate clean.

[yvr girl]

12. I don't remember the skit but I was in the Monkey Forest in Bali

and all I can say to you is, "Monkeys are scary." We needed to be rescued - that's all I'm saying.

[jukes]

25. time to graduate

wrap oranges in it, or use a sock full of wet sand. not, the same sound, o/c, but satisfying & most effective!

[yvr girl]

26. I'm long past fighting with my brothers

and I live alone. I didn't want the weapon as much as the sound.