Holiday Breakups

[bamademo]

Anyone ever been through one? I got broken up with on New Years Eve after we had made love that morning. The bastard told me that he feels empty after he makes love to me. Why are men so weird? Why must they wait until the holidays to tell you they have issues? I'd been with this man for 2 years and all of a sudden he has issues?

[GOPisEvil]

1. WTF?!?!

There have been a lot of breakups just here at DU. I don't know what it is with my fellow men. They are giving those of us that are decent guys a bad name.

I'm sorry for your pain. :hug:

[arcos]

2. I'm sorry...

I know what it is like... my bf broke up with me on Dec 26th... he had second thoughts the next day and we are back together, but I felt terrible for a few hours. :(

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

3. My guess is that there were "issues" well before this event, maybe dude

was just trying to figure out a time/place/pretext to breakup.

I am in no way trying to justify the guy's behavior.

[Kahuna]

4. "Empty after he makes love to you..." Sounds to me like..

he may be dealing with homosexuality issues.. Just my guess. :shrug:

[bamademo]

6. If he is...

...he sure gave a good imitation of heterosexuality.

[Orangepeel]

16. what ever happened to "it's not you; it's me?"

asshole not only has to break up with you, he has to blame you for it. I'm sorry about your pain, bamademo, but it sounds like you deserve better.

[jdots]

5. 26 years on the rocks

yeah- this was one happy new year wasn't it ? if I got into the details the tears would short out the keyboard.

[RC]

7. He is divorced?

His ex is a "bitch from hell"? He is Innocent of wrong doing with her?

[bamademo]

9. Twice Divorced

1st wife was bitch from hell. 2nd he just outgrew. He befriended me when I was going through emotional trauma from another man and he knew all my issues with men. We became close friends and lovers so this is so much of a betrayal to me. He has no answer as to why he perpetuated this relationship with me. Last year on my birthday (this month) he told me he just wanted to be friends because of the lovemaking issue. I didn't see him for about 2 months but then he started coming to my new apartment and 1 night he told me we must love each other because we kept dancing back into each others lives.
Guess he made an incorrect assessment. What is so bewildering to me is that everything was fine 3 weeks ago.

[slor]

8. Sorry to hear...

but it does sound like he is a jerk, so while it may be initially hard, it may be better this way.

[asthmaticeog]

10. Twice.

In 1996, my GF left me the week before Christmas. It was very fucked up, as I completely didn't see it coming and was utterly devastated. Then last year, it was clear that things weren't working out with my then-squeeze, but I went through the motions until about a week and a half after New Years so as not to be the guy that dumped someone right before the holidays. I still don't know whether going through the motions for a month made me any less of a dick than making her a Christmas dump-ee would have, to be honest.

On edit: to your question "Why must they wait until the holidays to tell you they have issues?" Do you suppose that there might be the seed of an answer in the self-reflectiveness that seems to accompany the holiday season and New Years?

[merh]

11. How about a Christmas dump?

We made love Christmas eve and woke up Christmas day together, everything was great (or so I thought). I gave him a sweater, we had coffee and he left to go to his folks for Christmas. It was very passionate and warm (or so I thought) and he promised to call later in the day and that he would come back that night. He never called or came back. To this day, I don't know what the F happened. I wish I had kept the sweater, it was a very nice sweater. I have seen him sense, but it is just in passing at the store or something.

[bamademo]

12. He told me out lovemaking was passionate

...and I thought it was warm but then he told me he had a powerful sexual urge and it felt good waking up with a woman so I guess he didn't care what woman he woke up with. Little sobering to know that you've just been getting f*cked (literally and figuratively) all this time.

[merh]

13. Yeah, the holiday gift that keeps on giving.

Try to find solace in knowing that you are able to love and it is his problem, not yours. I know that is trite, but it is true. Cherish and find warmth in knowing that you are able to love and give love. That is an amazing thing if you think about it. Don't beat yourself up over it. It is his problem, that became yours because you love him, but is not yours. You can love, apparently, he cannot. :hug: Go get a bunch of tear jerkers movies and watch them all day and cry your eyes out. (you are allowed) Then accept the fact that you are probably better off, it is hell being in a relationship and being the only one that can love. :hug:

[bamademo]

14. Thanks, that's good advice.

I don't think he is capable of love at this point in his life. Plus, he's an engineer and we all know what they are like. :-)

[merh]

19. Lifetime has on a marathon of tear jerkers today.

I just cried as Bill Clinton welcomed a girl dying of cancer to the Oval office, a make a wish, last wish.

God how I hate men of honor in my White House!

It is true that it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have known love. It is just so hard to know that when the hurt is so new.

Best of wished - positive energies to you and prayers!
:hug: merh

[OhioBlue]

15. i have been dumped twice on New Year's eve

I also have a friend that was dumped this new year's eve. it really sucks, but time will heal. Let yourself be as angry as you want - don't start blaming yourself. It was a jack ass thing for him to do.

[HEAVYHEART]

17. Bastard

I'm so sorry. :( My advice to you is to forget him and move on with your life.

[CO Liberal]

18. It Sounds To Me....

...like he's had your replacement waiting in the wings, and was looking for a good time to bail out on you.

Some of us guys can be real bastards....

[bamademo]

22. No, he doesn't have a replacement

His 25 year old son moved out. He vants to be alone <Greta Garbo mode off>

[Left Is Write]

20. I got dumped on NYE 1989.

I told the story to janesez the other day.

It sucks, and I'm sorry you had to go through it.

[underpants]

21. One of my best friends did that once-NYE 1994

His girlfriend who he had until recently lived with called him about what the "gang" was doing-he told but added "You really don't need to come" he had a new girlfriend.

I was never crazy about the new girl but they ended up moving to Richmond with me....then they broke up.

ON EDIT- he is a GREAT guy too that is what made it so strange.