VENT ALERT....My husband got fired for

[Not_Giving_Up]

acting like a two year old. One of the kids that worked there messed with him, so he messed back, only worse. When he went in Saturday they told him he had to go home until he talked to the manager today. He talked to him about an hour ago, he's fired. Of course, he's also pissed at me because I told him that he was wrong for what he did.

[Not_Giving_Up]

1. Oh, I forgot to add

They fired the other guy too...big deal. If my husband hadn't acted like a two year old, the other guy would have been fired, and he would still have a job.

[hickman1937]

2. Does he ever act out like this at your kids?

[Not_Giving_Up]

4. Sometimes I have trouble determining the eleven year old

from the thirty five year old. But, that's generally video game related.

[hickman1937]

10. You said in another thread that he has a history of losing jobs

You also said that he refuses to take meds. Start documenting. Talk to his boss.

[Not_Giving_Up]

16. I do document

Don't know if the boss will be much help. He's a freakin meth head.

[Blue Diadem]

3. Did he..

work there long?

[Not_Giving_Up]

6. Since September

The thing is, when he gets unemployed, he STAYS unemployed.

[Blue Diadem]

9. Is there other work

in the area? It took me 9 months to find another job in our area.

[Not_Giving_Up]

14. I'm sure he could find another job

He was delivering pizzas, not rocket science. He knows how to do a lot of things, it's getting him to do them that's the trick.

[bahrbearian]

5. Men will be boys, sometimes even 2 year olds,

I have a hard time keeping it in check, It's hard work, really really hard work, look at chimpy.

[Not_Giving_Up]

8. OK, but is it necessary to

threaten your co-worker? They were both in the parking lot (in cars), and my husband started "fuckin with" him...the other claimed that he was almost wrecked.

[bahrbearian]

19. A two year old is not threating ,, sounds like jerk. 30 year old

males can be jerks , Not good.

[Not_Giving_Up]

21. Well, I call it "throwing a two yea old fit"

I realize it's more than that.

[48pan]

7. Live and Learn

I'll bet he's a little slower to take the bait next time. Sorry he lost his job. I hope he finds another one real fast.

Make sure you kick his but out the door to find an new job every day until he finds one.

[Not_Giving_Up]

12. Ha!

He thinks he's justified. As far as kicking him the door every day, I have to go to work. I can't babysit.

[GCP]

11. Is this the guy who's bipolar?

Weren't you talking about him recently and how hard it was to get out of the situation of being tied to this guy?
If so, it sounds like things are going bad and it's getting to be time to leave.

[Not_Giving_Up]

13. Yep, the one and the same

Time to tippy toe around him for a while to prevent total mind flippage. Jeebus, I hate living like this.

[sendero]

24. Meth and bipolar?

A bipolar using meth is like pouring gasoline on a fire that is already out of control.

You are really at risk - and if he won't stop using you'd better get away while you are physically able.

Sorry - I know I sound severe but that is the way it is.

[Not_Giving_Up]

25. No!!!! Wait a minute!!

My husband is bi-polar, the boss is a meth-head.

[sendero]

30. Whew...

.... thanks for the clarification, and I apoligize. I thought you had a bipolar husband who was also a meth head.

That, IMHO, would be a lethal combination.

BTW - I'm also bipolar, fortunately a relatively mild case...

[Not_Giving_Up]

34. He was officially diagnosed

depressed, but only because he didn't tell the doc the other half of the story. They gave him meds, he took them for three days, then stopped, complaining that it gave him a headache. Hasn't been back since, and that was two years ago. I watch him cycle...it's lovely!

[sendero]

37. Well...

.... drugs traditionally used to treat depression, especially SSRIs (prozac,zoloft,paxil) are REALLY bad for bipolars and will often kick them into a manic episode.

Does he have a real temper? Get into periods of hypomania, where he is very energetic and focused, almost obsessed, on a task or activity, then collapse and not want to do much of anything?

Of course, there are many flavors of bipolar and really compared to regular depression the psychiatric community doesn't know that much about it. But there are lots of people with low-level versions that function ok but have their problems...

[Not_Giving_Up]

40. I've seen him go

three days, hardly sleeping, playing video games. He stayed up all night putting together a Lego Mars Rover. It's either that, or he's sleeping 15 hours a day.

[sendero]

44. Classic.

Lithium is cheap and often effective and with minimal sides.

But it can be tough to get a bipolar to take anything, they like the good parts of being bipolar :)

[Not_Giving_Up]

46. Yeah, well

To the non-bi-polar people living with the bi-polar one, there are no good parts. You're always waiting for the pendulum to swing.

[sendero]

51. I...

... feel guilty enough already :)

[Not_Giving_Up]

55. Not trying to make you feel guilty

I'm just saying...When he's manic, he drives me nuts, the house runs 24 hours a day. I know what's coming after that, he'll be a miserable prick for days.

[paula777]

15. I have a temper like your husbands... I can relate

Was it a temper tantrum type thing? I've done that before. It's almost uncontrolable when someone pushs your buttons over and over and over

[Not_Giving_Up]

18. he's thirty-fucking-five years old

He should know better. He still doesn't think that he did anything wrong.

[paula777]

26. I'm 40 and I have had a temper tantrum (directed at my boss) this year

I DO tell myself I will never do it again, and then when I get mad, something happens and I just blow up. I don't mean to, I just lose my mind for a minute or two.

[sendero]

32. You should consider...

... the possibility that you are mildly bipolar. I spent 20 years trying to control my temper, which could be explosive.

I would fly into rages and then 10 minutes later feel guilty for blowing up over what, in retrospect, was near nothing.

I take medication and now I'm a lot happier and those around me are too :)

[paula777]

42. I always just blamed it on being an aries

but you could be right, I could be mildly bipolar. If I had medical insurance I would go to a doctor and find out, but I don't.

[sendero]

50. You can read..

.... the DSM (the manual psychiatrists use to help diagnose disorders) yourself on the net and see if you think it matches you. If it does, you might be able to find a way to get treatment.

Even if you can't get treatment, it would be better to know - it might help you to try to avoid situations that present coping problems - not that you aren't already doing that probably :)

Also, there are some over-the-counter supplements that are not real expensive that many believe help with bipolar - fish oils being the most notable. To have a therapeutic effect you will have to take a bunch of them, but there is no medical risk from doing so.

My feeling is this - if while you are losing your cool you know that you are wrong but you cannot control it - well - you know what I mean...

[Not_Giving_Up]

41. At least you realize that you shouldn't have done it

He thinks he's right.

[paula777]

47. Well I actually don't think I was wrong to be honest, nor did I aplogize

I think he totally deserved it and I'm surprised he didn't fire me for it. He was being very very patronizing and demoralizing and has been doing that to me since August when I got the job. I have just been biting my tongue over and over and over and letting the rage build up until one day, when he did it again, I was at the point where I just no longer could hold it in and yelled and screamed at him. I am totally overqualified for this job and am not used to people being able to treat me like that. I just need to find a new job because it's only a matter of time before I do it again. I am sorry your hubby does the same thing, but maybe like the other person said on this thread, maybe there is a bit of bipolar going on here???

[hickman1937]

17. I think he loses these jobs on purpose.

He's trying to position himself as the primary care giver, so if the crunch comes he gets custody.

[Not_Giving_Up]

20. I don't think he wants custody

Then he'd have to cook, clean, and supervise homework.

he told me Thursday night that he was either going to get fired or quit if the other guy wasn't handled for what he'd done. The main manager left early, thought all was well, then all the other shit happened.

[Nay]

22. I think you need to talke to a lawyer right now, without his knowing.

You need to find out what you should do before and if you leave. This is no way to live, as you said. At least be armed with information before you make a decision, and good luck.

P.S. Make sure the lawyer is a nasty, bitchy go-for-the-throat divorce lawyer.

If your child is 11, now is the time to see the lawyer. He is too young to really decide where he wants to go -- but when he is 12 or 13, the judge will give more weight to his preference

[Not_Giving_Up]

23. My son knows who the stable one is

I'm not worried about that.

I've looked for lawyers before, but when you're broke (but just above the line where you qualify for legal aid), your life bites.

[redqueen]

27. "broke (but just above the line where you qualify for legal aid)"

Hallelujah! Holy Shit!

Where's the Tylenol?

[Not_Giving_Up]

28. Seriously, when I inquired about it

I was the only one working, we were barely scraping by, and I didn't qualify.

[redqueen]

29. Oh, I believe ya!

I'm in the same boat. I'm the only one working, and we still don't qualify for jack.

[Not_Giving_Up]

31. It's not like I'm bringing home a bundle either

Maybe I should try again, I'm making a little less now.

[amazona]

33. no he's just bipolar

I have a friend who is bipolar who cannot hold a job, with or without medication. Sometimes the condition cannot be treated with current technology. Not all bipolar people have this problem, but there are a stubborn few we don't yet know how to help, really.

I felt like you for a long time. I was convinced my friend was doing it on purpose to avoid working. But he really can't help himself. He is not happy with being over 40 and always starting over at mimimum wage jobs because he is unreliable. He just can't help himself.

I'd be more worried about the wife being socked with alimony or spousal support when she gets away from this guy. It is very difficult to provide for two households and raise kids alone.

[Not_Giving_Up]

36. There won't be alimony

That would be a joke. Texas just got alimony a few years ago, and it's very restricted.

I realize that the job thing is related to his mental state. The fact that he refuses to get any kind of help makes it difficult for me to deal with. Nothing is his fault, it's all my fault, he's always right, just ask him.

[sendero]

39. Believe me..

... a lot of the "not my fault" is typical of bipolars. I think that is probably because they don't set out to do the things they do, they just happen.

It's hard to accept blame for behavior that is out of your own control.

[Not_Giving_Up]

43. Well, I can't force him to get help

My son has ADHD, ODD and Asperger's, so I've spent plenty of time reading the DSM IV. I know why he does what he does, but I can't make him get the help that he needs.

[sendero]

45. Then you really only have one...

... choice. I wish you luck in finding a way.

[Not_Giving_Up]

48. Thanks

I'm doing what I can.

[Blue Diadem]

35. Is that same Pizza Place

with the manager that wrote the screwed up letter that someone posted the other day?

[Not_Giving_Up]

38. Yep!

I told him that he needs to report them for what's going on there. He said he's going to file unemployment on them. Nice, but they'll deny it. I haven't seen his termination paperwork, but I'll bet it references work place violence - he made the other guy feel threatened.

[Tweed]

49. Answered my question above

Poster was thinking the same thing I was.

[wellstone dem]

52. Does your state have any

self-help court forms? If you really don't think he will contest custody, that might be an option for you.

[NightTrain]

53. Didn't your husband work for those pizza-delivery pricks?

No big loss there. Surely he can find another food-service job someplace? :shrug:

[Not_Giving_Up]

54. Yeah, he did

The problem is that the pendulum is now swinging. He's been manic for days now, and the depression is starting up. He won't leave the house for days.