Doesn't anyone have any "Yo Yo Ma" jokes?

[Phillycat]

it was begging for it!

[StopTheMorans]

1. Why shouldn't you drive a minivan off a cliff with three violins in it?

A. Because you could fit at least one more in it.

Sorry, it was the best I could do on short notice :7

[Ron Green]

3. There's always room for a 'cello. eom

[Cocoa]

6. good one!

;-)

[StopTheMorans]

7. thanks, i made it up myself just now

:silly:

[kick-ass-bob]

2. No one should joke on the Yo Yo MA!

:D

[Richardo]

4. Here are some!

Q: How is lightning like a cellist's fingers?
A: Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

Q: How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?
A: Put it in a cello case.

Q: What's the difference between a violin and a cello?
A1: The cello burns longer.
A2: The cello holds more beer.
A3: You can tune the violin.

Q: What's the difference between a cello and a coffin?
A: The coffin has the dead person on the inside.

Q: Why do cellists stand for long periods outside people's houses?
A: They can't find the key and they don't know when to come in.

Q: What's the difference between a washing machine and a cellist?
A: Vibrato.

Q: Why do so many people take an instant dislike to the cello?
A: It saves time.

Q: How can you tell when a cellist is playing out of tune?
A: The bow is moving.

Q: Why is playing the cello like peeing in your pants?
A: They both give you a nice warm feeling without making any sound.

Q: Why is a cello solo like a bomb?
A: By the time you hear it, it's too late to do anything about it.

Q: Why do cellists leave their instrument cases on the dashboards of their cars?
A1: So they can park in "handicapped" parking places.
A2: If someone mistakes them for mafia, they might get some respect.

Q: Why don't cellists play hide and seek?
A: Because no one will look for them.

Q: Why do cellists smile when they play?
A: Because ignorance is bliss and what they don't know can't hurt them.

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a crushed cello in the road?
A: Skid marks before the skunk.

Q: How do you get a violin to sound like a cello?
A1: Sit in the back and don't play.
A2: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.

Q: A conductor and a cellist are standing in the middle of the road. Which one do you run over first, and why?
A: The conductor. Business before pleasure.

Q: What do a cello and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

Q: What is the range of a cello?
A: As far as you can kick it.

Q: What do a SCUD missile and a cello player have in common?
A: They're both offensive and inaccurate.

Q: Why are cellos so large?
A: It's an optical illusion. It's not that the cellos are large; just that the cello players' heads are so small.

Q: What's the difference between a chain saw and a viola?
A: If you absolutely had to, you could use a chain saw in a string quartet.

Q: Why shouldn't you drive off a cliff in a minivan with three cellos in it?
A: You could fit in at least one more.

Q: What's the difference between the first and last desk of a cello section?
A1: Half a measure.
A2: A semi-tone.

Q: Why can't you hear a cello on a digital recording?
A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.

Q: Did you hear about the cellist who bragged that he could play 32nd notes?
A: The rest of the orchestra didn't believe him, so he proved it by playing one.

Q: Why can't a cellist play with a knife in his back?
A: Because he can't lean back in his chair.

Q: What's the latest crime wave in New York City?
A: Drive-by cello recitals.

Q: What do you call a bunch of cellists in a hot tub?
A: Vegetable soup.

Q: Did you hear about the cellist who played in tune?
A: Neither did I.

Q: What is the main requirement at the "International Cello Competition?"
A: Hold the cello from memory.

Q: Why did the cellist marry the accordion player?
A: Upward mobility.

Q: How do you transcribe a violin piece for cello?
A: Divide the metronome marking by 2.

[BurtWorm]

9. I don't have a clue why I'm laughing at those!

But I am! :crazy:

[KurtNYC]

5. Yo Yo Ma is so fat

when he plays cello around the house, he plays AROUND the house.

Bad-dump bum tssh!

[bif]

8. How can you tell when the stage is level?

The cellists are drooling out of both sides of their mouths.

[Beer Snob-50]

10. YO YO Ma is soooooo ugly...

(everyone) HOW UGLY IS HE?

he is so ugly, when he was born his mother got slapped
if he had a dog as ugly as he is, you would shave it's ass and teach it to walk backwards

[giant_robot]

11. What's the difference between a cello and a trampoline?

You don't have to take off your shoes to jump on the cello.

:)