Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

How much did you spend on your wedding/reception?

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:18 PM
Original message
Poll question: How much did you spend on your wedding/reception?
Be sure to include all of your expenses, like invitations and photography, but don't include the honeymoon.

What were your biggest expenses and how did you save money?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:19 PM
Response to Original message
1. oh good lord, I don't even want to think of this one!
I'm planning on getting married late next year. I have no frigging clue how i'm going to afford it.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:24 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. So, how big of a wedding do you plan on having?
What could you realistically afford, even if it means going in debt but having a good plan for paying it off in a reasonable fashion?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
derby378 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:57 PM
Response to Reply #1
50. Solution: Las Vegas
You don't have to go the Elvis or drive-thru route - some chapels offer nice, fairly traditional ceremonies and are willing to work with the soon-to-be-wed.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Shakespeare Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:59 PM
Response to Reply #50
52. That's what we did--I HIGHLY recommend it.
Very elegant, and totally stress-free. And inexpensive (all-inclusive).
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Renew Deal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 06:18 PM
Response to Reply #1
57. theknot.com
I have learned one thing in 5 days. That's a great site. Put in your budget, date and location. See what it spits out.

www.theknot.com
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
BeTheChange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 10:28 PM
Response to Reply #57
76. The Knot is a godsend
Edited on Wed Jan-05-05 10:32 PM by BeTheChange
Just 5 months away from our wedding and I dont know what I would have done without the Knot :)

When all is said and done, (not including the ring.. I dont know how much he spent on that) we will be in the 15k range including honeymoon. Our guest list is 50. It also includes 700 in airfare to get back home to cali to get married. Here is the 1850s church we will be married in:


8k of that is the honeymoon tho. We have rented a Villa in St John.. I cant wait. Also, out of the 7k, 2300 is for the photographer, by far our biggest wedding expense.

We are paying in cash, no debt.. no help from our families.

Saved money by doing invitations ourselves, luckily my fiance works for a printing company, so that helped. My mom and I are doing the flowers and that probably saved us a grand right there. It is something Ive always wanted to do.

I also chose to get married in the Sierra foothills opposed to the Bay area, Tahoe or Mendocino coast which tend to be pricer.

At this stage in the game I can pretty much quote you the prices for every place in northern california :) Ive planned 3 weddings starting at 15k in Mendocino to the 7k one in Coloma.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Red State Rebel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 11:32 AM
Response to Reply #1
90. 1975 $2500.00 paid for reception for 300 people
Live band, dinner, etc.

My daughter is getting married in May and they are over $12,000.00 already.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Beware the Beast Man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:23 PM
Response to Original message
2. My wife and I did ours on the cheap.
Edited on Wed Jan-05-05 04:24 PM by Beware the Beast Man
After putting off wedding plans for a good year, her grandmother finally coerced us into a date. We had a small group of friends and family (about 50 people total), and decided to do the traditional Catholic wedding with mass and all that, then had a casual picnic reception afterwards. We cut corners at every step, whether it was making our own invitations or getting the bare minimum amount of flowers. Still, we had a wonderful time, and I wouldn't have changed a thing.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:24 PM
Response to Original message
4. I think $5-7K. My wife handled all that
the money and still does.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Spacemom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:29 PM
Response to Original message
5. We spent less than $1000
We rented out the Zilker Park Rose Gardens for the ceremony. We were married under a beautiful Oak Tree. This was less than $100.

Our biggest expences were probably invitations and the reception rental. We bought 100 invitations for a little over 100 bucks. We rented out part of one of the local recreation centers for our reception.

A nice wedding can be done for under a grand. Start planning early and shop around. Don't be afraid to do things differently than everyone else. Ex: we bought party trays from a local deli for the reception. Not as fancy as being catered or something like that, but everyone ate and no one complained.

Congrats on the impending nuptials. :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
XNASA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:32 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. I know that place.
Beautiful spot.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:45 PM
Response to Reply #5
45. That is a gorgeous spot!
:-)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
zbird Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:30 PM
Response to Original message
6. We eloped. Spent less than $500.
We went to Townsend, TN, Heartland Wedding Chapel. Sounds cheesy, but it is a beautiful cedar/log chapel. They do packages of all kinds. We did the cheapest. We had my husband's best friend stand up for us, had photos and a video of the ceremony, flowers were included, all for about $400, if I remember correctly.

It was easier all around to elope. I lived in Ohio, my husband-to-be lived in Michigan, my family was in Pa/NJ, and I was in my mid-30s. I saw no reason to have a big deal wedding... we couldn't afford it anyway!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
XNASA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:31 PM
Response to Original message
7. $7500
But we received over $10K in gifts and $$$$$$$.

When translated in 2005 dollars, it would be close to $250,000.

So long ago.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:43 PM
Response to Reply #7
13. Yeah, but who can afford a celebrity wedding like that?
Only the rock stars that I know. :-)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
XNASA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:45 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. I remember I had to borrow 2 large from a friend to make it happen.
But when the bookeeping was all over....we came out ahead.

You gotta spend money to make money. :shrug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:49 PM
Response to Reply #15
18. Hmm...
Interesting way of looking at it.

If you spent less, though, wouldn't you have made more money? Or, do you think the guests wait till they get there and see the spread to write the checks?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
XNASA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:52 PM
Response to Reply #18
20. No, the guests know from the invitation what the spread will be like.
More or less.

Got married in a cathedral........reception at a not too shabby place.....invite about 250 and promise an open bar before dinner.

And boom!!! The cash will pour in.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #20
21. What about a bait and switch?
When people show up, you fake a disaster, like a broken water main, and move to a different location.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 09:07 PM
Response to Reply #20
63. Not all cultures/subcultures involve receiving cash at weddings.
No one gave us cash. Just wedding gifts.

If you want to look at a wedding as a monetary investment, be certain that all invited guests understand and accept the idea that you're expecting cash gifts from them.

In our case, if we'd sent out such a message, I don't think any of our guests would have attended. In our circles, a request for cash gifts at a wedding would be considered an insult.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
motely36 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:34 PM
Response to Original message
9. My partner and I are not allowed to get married
But when we are....we'll still probably have a small wedding and reception.

:)
Hopefully someday
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:27 PM
Response to Reply #9
36. I hope you can too ....
Have you had ANY sort of ceremony at all though? I think doing that would be so cool. I / We have attended 3 Uniting ceremonies in the past. To me, those people are as married as the one's who were churched!

( they too were gay, just so you know I do understand)

:)

aA.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
motely36 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:51 PM
Response to Reply #36
49. We had a small ceremony at our Episcopal Church
But the priest was told he could only bless the rings, and not the union (not sure what the difference is). then we had people over at the house, about 6-7. It was nice, but I want a real wedding!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 06:06 PM
Response to Reply #49
55. I HOPE you can have that!!!
With all the flowers and trappings of a beautiful wedding!!



good luck

:)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
MISSDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:39 PM
Response to Original message
10. Which one?
Or just a total?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:44 PM
Response to Reply #10
14. How about the most expensive?
And the one that was the best, if it's different.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LiberalEsto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:40 PM
Response to Original message
11. Simple Unitarian ceremony
at the local UU church; gown made by a friend who's an expert seamstress, for cost of materials; one friend played guitar for ceremony; another friend baked the cake; reception was in my in-law's rose garden with rented tables and chairs; a friend and I put together all the foods -- homemade potato and macaroni salads, coleslaw, trays of coldcuts, rolls, lettuce and tomatos; my father paid for the drinks and mixers. A friend who was handy with a camera took photos, gave us the film, and we got beautiful prints made. Very short, modest honeymoon in Cape Cod.

We were broke and trying to save every penny to pay my husband's tuition to computer school. I'd just divorced my first husband and didn't want a huge wedding anyway, but my first wedding was a basic exchange of vows in a mayor's office so I wanted something a little bit nicer. To save my bridesmaids any expense, I just asked them to wear something nice that was blue.

The only problem we had was that the day was very hot, but everyone said it was lovely and tasteful and fun.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Shakespeare Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:40 PM
Response to Original message
12. Here's what we did, and it was wonderful & elegant
Edited on Wed Jan-05-05 05:26 PM by Shakespeare
on edit: I thought you were looking for pointers, so I've probably given WAY more info than anybody would ever want! :crazy:

We had VERY little money to spend on the wedding, so I was looking for ways to cut costs on every single thing.

eBay was a great resource--but you've gotta know what you're doing & look for auctions that allow returns if you're afraid of being dissatisfied with anything. I got the following things on eBay, and it saved me a fortune:

1. My dress (brand new, designer knock-off, $116, and gorgeous). Found a tailor in the garment district in LA (where I lived at the time) who did the alterations and fitting for a bargain price of $50.

2. All my undergarments, about $100 (English corset, petticoat).

3. My gloves, shoes and veil; around $50 total (made the headpiece myself out of tiny silk roses & attached the veil to that).

4. My husband's tux shoes $22 (he wore his formal black suit instead of a tux, as did my dad), and custom-made red vests for my husband and dad (from eBay), $35 for both.

5. Do-it-yourself invitations and response cards, which I embellished with gold ribbon and balinese silver filigreed heart charms (also from eBay)--they looked VERY expensive, and cost me under $50.

6. Wedding favors--chrome wine bottle stoppers with a heart pattern (that was the wedding's theme--it was valentine's day), tiny silver and glass tins that we filled with mints, and custom CDs (got the white cardboard CD holders on eBay) that I burned with our favorite love songs. I designed the CD "cover art" by using a couple's portrait I did on that do-your-own-Picasso website (that turned out GREAT and was fun) and printed to size, in color, on photo paper. Less than $50 for everything.

The wedding itself we had in Vegas, which cost us (well, my parents paid for that one) $1100, and included EVERYTHING--beautiful ceremony in an elegant "chapel" in the hotel, photography & album w/24 or so photos, all the flowers, a pianist...and they assign you a wedding coordinator who runs it like a pro. NO headaches, no stress, no multiple vendors to worry about.

We had the reception afterwards--an informal dinner--at one of the hotel's nicer restaurants (it wasn't a huge number of guests). The cost was reasonable, and everybody got to order what they wanted. We brought our own (favorite) sparkling wine and paid a modest corkage fee, and ordered our cake through the restaurant as well (cake was around $120).

We had a blast, everything was absolutely beautiful, and if I had it to do over again I wouldn't change one single thing. Having it in Vegas worked out extremely well, because our guests were coming from all over the country, and Vegas turned out to be a great central flight destination. There was NOTHING tacky about it, and I was amazed at how stress-free it was. A great choice for a "destination" wedding.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Beaverhausen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:18 PM
Response to Reply #12
28. That sounds great.
How special that must have been.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Renew Deal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 06:31 PM
Response to Reply #12
62. This will be useful to me.
Thanks!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:45 PM
Response to Original message
16. I've had 4 weddings
Edited on Wed Jan-05-05 04:46 PM by NewJeffCT
One to my now ex-wife that was the most expensive & also the most traditional (i.e., in a church, with ushers & bridesmaids, catered food at the reception, DJ, etc) - just a guess, as my memory has faded, but I'd say that it was a good $10,000 total for about 100 guests.

The second was to my current wife a little more than 3 years ago now - that was just in our bedroom with a justice of the peace. We had my parents, brother & grandmother over and it was probably less than $150.

About 8 months after that, my wife's parents got their Visa from overseas and we had another wedding ceremony for them in our backyard. We rented a tent, I rented a tux & my wife had an all-silk white gown handmade for her in Suzhou, China (the silk capital of China...) The total was maybe $1,500, but was probably a bit less, and is not including plane tickets for her parents.

Then, this past September, we went to China so I could meet the rest of her family and we had another ceremony, this time with formal photography and the works. Still pretty cheap by US standards, as the photog was only $200 and we got a photo album of 35 8 1/2"x11" pics, and several larger ones with frames, and the CD with all the pictures on it.


Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
pdx_prog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:49 PM
Response to Original message
17. Zero.....
When I got married (divorced now) it was in a little one chair barber shop......the man that owned the shop was also a minister.

To me, that was more memorable than an expensive wedding...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
JanMichael Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 04:50 PM
Response to Original message
19. I think it cost us $80
at the courthouse in Sarasota, Florida-
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
tk2kewl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:10 PM
Response to Original message
22. prolesunited is obviously not from the NY Metro Area
$35Gs
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. This just sprang from the thread on debt
when someone posted about getting married.

And I don't care if I lived in the NY Metro area. I would never spend $35k on a wedding. That's obscene.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
tk2kewl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:23 PM
Response to Reply #23
31. That is a small number for around here
125 people
cocktail hour
dinner
band
flowers
photog
video

you could do the same at a "wedding mill" for about $10K less or at a VFW for a lot less. We were also both over 35 and never married so we had some resources.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:25 PM
Response to Reply #31
34. And I'm sure you could have spent more
I hope the two of you are as happy as you were on that day. :toast:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
tk2kewl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:29 PM
Response to Reply #34
38. so far so good.
we are married a year and a half. bought a house a little over a year ago.



More Pics...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:39 PM
Response to Reply #38
42. I love that picture!
Pure joy. Thanks for sharing.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
skippysmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:16 PM
Response to Original message
24. $12K
for a beautiful wedding at my alma mater for 100 guests, not including our honeymoon at the Jekyll Island club in GA, which was about $2K.

Thankfully the 'rents paid for most of it. I can't believe how expensive it ended up being. They jack up the prices on EVERYTHING with the word "wedding" in it.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
greatauntoftriplets Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:17 PM
Response to Original message
25. I attended the wedding of friends' daughter in October.
Funding came from parents and the groom (who makes good money) and I was told it cost in the neighborhood of $65,000.

There were 13 bridesmaids, plus flower girls, etc. Nice wedding but :wow:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:19 PM
Response to Reply #25
29. Well, nice is one thing
But you could buy a small fixer-upper in some areas of the country for that.

I just don't get it. I hope the marriage lasts as long as the bills.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ChavezSpeakstheTruth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:18 PM
Response to Original message
26. I don't know yet - I HOPE NOT TOO MUCH!!!
Edited on Wed Jan-05-05 05:18 PM by ChavezSpeakstheTruth
:cry:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Total Mass Retain Donating Member (53 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:18 PM
Response to Original message
27. Not much
I bought a cream-colored short dress so that I could wear it for other things(wish I knew what I did with it,it was a classic,Fortuny pleats,satin criss-crossed ribbons at Empire waist and all-I'd still wear it if I hadn't lost it somewhere in the shuffle of life)-he wore a regular suit and tie-we argued all the way to the JP's,got there in the nick of time,argued all the way home again,and have been happily married for twenty years and counting:) We went out to our regular watering hole later that night,he played "Dig-Dug" while I danced(he hates to dance,will only dance with me once a year,at New Year's to "Auld Lang Syne")and went home. We'd already had the honeymoon,so to speak-app a month in Mexico just wandering-he knew some old guy who lived in a little village near Guadalajara,so we stayed there a couple of days where I was introduced to the delights of goat cheese,goat milk candies,and barbecue goat.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:22 PM
Response to Reply #27
30. What were you arguing about?
I would worry if I was fighting on my way to the wedding.

BTW, congrats on 20 years. :toast:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Total Mass Retain Donating Member (53 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:27 PM
Response to Reply #30
37. Something so trivial that I don't even remember-
I remember that my aunt came with us a witness-she thought it was hilarious. We weren't really having a fight,just a lot of bickering over this that and the other.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Total Mass Retain Donating Member (53 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 06:06 PM
Response to Reply #30
53. We'd already lived together for about two years,
so it wasn't like we weren't sure,or didn't know each other well enough,or something like that. We were just kind of casual about "legalising" it, I suppose-therefore the bickering was just as if it had been any other day and we'd been bickering. All I know is,twenty married years later,not counting the shacking up two years, I have no regrets. I've always known that I want to be with this man until the end,sometimes I hope I go first because I can't imagine the world or my life without him.We have completely different tastes in almost everything,different personalities,he's 17 years older than me(but after a certain age that age gap seems to start closing,LOL),but we both feel like the other one is the only one meant for us on this earth.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:24 PM
Response to Original message
32. Should we count the cost of the wedding ring?
If so, it was over $20K in all for me.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:26 PM
Response to Reply #32
35. Yes
I think that counts. Was the wedding ring the most expensive part?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:35 PM
Response to Reply #35
41. No. It was about 25% of the cost. We had a large wedding.
and by 1997, large weddings (over 100 guests) had become very expensive.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
midnight armadillo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:24 PM
Response to Original message
33. Under $8k, INCLUDING honeymoon
That was a wedding for ~75 people, DJ, room in a mansion-become-function-room-place, with excellent food, and 10 days in St. Lucia in June in a nice hotel.

We paid for it ourselves too.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
CO Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:29 PM
Response to Original message
39. Hardly Anything
Edited on Wed Jan-05-05 05:30 PM by CO Liberal
The Princess and I eloped to Elkton, Maryland. The wedding chapel was very reasonable, and her parents took us out to dinner afterwards.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:29 PM
Response to Original message
40. $0. But Then I Knowingly Married A Gay Man Whose Partner Was The
best man.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:41 PM
Response to Reply #40
43. HUH?!?!?
:shrug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Xithras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:43 PM
Response to Original message
44. $14,000
My wifes parents paid for it and my wife planned it, so I don't know that I can be much help. I do know that our biggest expense was flowers though...over $6,000 worth.

For what it's worth, my wife and I were married on a beautiful autumn day along the banks of the Tuolumne River in the Sierra foothills, under a canopy of 200 year old valley oak trees. It was one of those "postcard weddings", which is why it was so much.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:47 PM
Response to Reply #44
48. What was your contingency plan
if it rained that day or was dreadfully cold?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
central scrutinizer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:46 PM
Response to Original message
46. $35 and a $20 tip
We were married (Jan. 1, 1987) in our living room with a few family and friends present. The justice of the peace charged $35 to perform the ceremony then we tipped her an additional $20 for coming out on a holiday. She brought her young daughter with her. No rings, no reception, no caterer, etc.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Dora Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:47 PM
Response to Original message
47. $10K and I'm so ashamed.
No, I'm not really ashamed. It was a beautiful wedding, everyone was happy and smiling, the band rocked, brunch was delicious, and we even had the bonus of gigantic flock of birds doing a triple fly-over in the middle of the ceremony.

I am, however, chagrined at how easy it was to spend that much money. I wouldn't do the same today. I'd probably dump the caterer and do it potluck. Half our budget went for catering.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Baja Margie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 05:59 PM
Response to Original message
51. About 2K. Church Wedding at St. Nicholas, limos,
Edited on Wed Jan-05-05 06:06 PM by Baja Margie
Of course, this was 22 years ago, what a blast. My brother did the photography, full dinner ,full on booze, flowers the whole shebang at the Hotel Del Coronado.





Oops, didn't count the rings, dress, tux. That was just the reception.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 06:14 PM
Response to Reply #51
56. I had brunch there last year
That place was amazing! The spread was so fabulous, I wanted to pull out my camera and take pictures.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 09:15 PM
Response to Reply #56
65. Are you from San Diego too?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 10:36 PM
Response to Reply #65
78. No, I was just out that way
on a business trip last year. Here's a couple of pics I shot





Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #51
64. Do you still live in San Diego?
We had Christmas dinner at the "Del". Fantastic.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Baja Margie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 12:48 AM
Response to Reply #64
81. Born and raised there,
but no, we live in Baja now.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
peacebird Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 06:06 PM
Response to Original message
54. had a beautiful spring wedding in the garden surrounded by azaleas!
biggest expense was fresh flowers because i LOVE flowers; saved money by borrowing a silk rose covered arbor from the commonwealth musical stage! My mom, aunt and I did the food for the reception, oh and mom suprised us by having the symphony orchestra's harpist play for the wedding and reception.

think it cost us right about $3k with almost 170 guests.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Chovexani Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 06:19 PM
Response to Original message
58. If I ever get married
I'm eloping to Vegas and having a Star Trek wedding. If there's a best man/maid of honor they will be redshirts.

Contrary to popular opinion, not every woman wants the stereotypical fairy tale wedding. I think it's a load of horseshit myself. Problem is I just know my family would have to make some big production out of it. So I'd have to run off just for my own sanity (what little there is to start with).
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Renew Deal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 06:29 PM
Response to Reply #58
61. My girlfriend doesn't want a big thing either.
So we are going to see what we come up with. We have to figure out how much money we have and from where.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 09:19 PM
Response to Reply #58
67. My wife wanted the "fairy tale wedding" so I gave it to her in splendor.
Edited on Wed Jan-05-05 09:20 PM by Seabiscuit
She, her family, and all her friends absolutely loved it. So did I. Worth every penny. We planned and arranged every detail and aspect of it ourselves. So please don't refer to it as a "load of horseshit" just because not everyone sees a wedding that way.

Next to having a baby, marriage is the most important event in my life. Far more important to me than my law degree and license, far more important to me than my house or car or investment portfolio.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DeposeTheBoyKing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 06:21 PM
Response to Original message
59. Approximately $300
$110 to get married in Reno, $100 for my dress and jewelry, and $90 to purchase soda, napkins, paper plates, etc. for our reception held at a friend's farmhouse.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TheCentepedeShoes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 06:26 PM
Response to Original message
60. About $500-600 tops
Including the dress and shoes I bought which were suitable for other occasions. Got married in the backyard with flowers (bouquet, boutonniere, centerpiece, and bud vases for 3 tables) and cake from Publix. Married by friend from 2 doors down who was a Notary (so was I but didn't think it was legal to "marry myself"). At the ceremony we had her and her husband, another couple from down the street, a girl friend (another neighbor) and her dog (the dog got her own flower collar that the grocery store made), and another neighbor guy that happened by to see what was going on. For the "reception" we had an appetizer plate from Publix and put some NY strips on the grill and served with baked potatoes and salad and ate on tables set up on the deck, tables decked with white tablecloths I got at Scotty's (local hardware store). The Notary wouldn't take any money for the ceremony, so we gave a donation to her church which did alot of food pantry work.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 09:18 PM
Response to Original message
66. around 500
Wedding dress bought from a WD outlet, about 250. Small ceremony with 2 bridesmaids.

Reception following in the church hall, with catered hors d'oeurves. about 150. *scratching my head* Flowers and invitations made up the rest. The only flowers I got were an arragment for myself and and made of honor as well as buttonieers for the guys.

My sister in law played the music. We were members of the church where we got married, so no fee there. Though we did make a small donation to the building fund.

I spent an equal amount on a skiing honeymoon. It was December.

That was 18 years ago. And I don't have the groom anymore. Would I do it again? No. I'd have a small ceremony with just the couple, a couple of witnesses and the preacher or JotP. Maybe after we got back we'd through a party for friends and extended family.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Zing Zing Zingbah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 09:24 PM
Response to Original message
68. Less than $500.
Whatever it cost for the marriage license (a little over $100), that's how much we spent.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
NC_Nurse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 09:30 PM
Response to Original message
69. We had ours in our home.
Probably cost betwen $100-200. My dress was $50 from the thrift shop. My daughters wore $50 dresses from a mail order catalog and my son and hubby rented matching tuxes. The girls made the cake, only family were invited, and my dad took us all out to dinner afterwards...I'm sure he spent moe than we did!

We got some flowers too...maybe more like $200-300...

It was lovely.:-)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yellowdogintexas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 09:54 PM
Response to Original message
70. 22 years ago, so have to think, but prob about $2000 for the actual weddi
dress: $350 (marked down form $750)
hat: $100 gorgeous hat




(others in the photos: mom, sister, and new husband)

tux rental: probably about $60

Invitations: $35.00 (and they had our picture on them, too)

Banquet room: $50
catering: $75
cake: $125 bride's cake and $40 for groom's cake

overnight afterwards at the hotel: $40

no special shoes, or custom underwear neeeded

photography: $650
flowers: $350
rings: $300 each, I think

we served the wedding cake, some fruit punch, coffee, a couple of cheese spreads, fresh veggie trays About 100 guests

We were married in a hotel just outside Mammoth Cave National Park, in the same room where the reception was held, because we wanted to be close to the cave so all our caving friends could also attend since they were already there to go caving on Saturday. (wedding was a Sunday) A real motley crew, that. We WOULD have had the wedding outdoors in the park but in March, you just can't trust Kentucky weather.

An old family friend, who happened to be the Circuit Court judge performed the ceremony, and instead of a cash gratuity, I gave him an autographed copy of the book "Trapped", which is the story of Floyd Collins' entrapment and death in a nearby cave, and is considered by many to be America's first real media event. Bill loved that! He is a local history buff, and he got to meet the author too as he is an old friend and was a guest.

So we spent all the money that we didn't spend on the wedding on a 3 week honeymoon in Spain.

Now I will tell you, I don't think I could have spent the combined total of the trip and wedding on just the wedding alone. For one thing, in my part of Kentucky, most folks still do not have the huge dinner parties.. a wedding with a light sandwich buffet is a real step up. I would have maybe had a little more food,or hired in a musician but probably not.
It just wouldn't be in me to spend that much for a wedding.

We did not have a rehearsal, so my new inlaws treated the bridal party, parents, siblings and my out of town relatives to a nice dinner at the hotel that evening. It was wonderful fun. My mom's brother gave me away, and their stepbrother brought his mother. We had not all been together for a long time except at my dad's funeral, and this was much more fun.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 09:56 PM
Response to Original message
71. Is there some good news
you'd like to share with us, Prolesunited? (waiting with bated breath!)

I've never been married, but if I ever am I know that I don't want a big, fancy ceremony with a lot of fuss and muss. A small ceremony, maybe outdoors, with a little gathering afterwards would do just fine. No fancy catering or tons of expensive flowers or fancy invitations, etc., etc. I just don't see the need or the point, and the best weddings I've been to have been the smaller ones without much fancy to-do. And I just turned forty, so if I ever do get married (and it would be awhile, since I'm unattached right now), I wouldn't want a big, fancy ceremony anyway, I'd be too old, lol!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
MrSlayer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 09:59 PM
Response to Original message
72. $100 for the guy that did the ceremony. No reception.
I can't think of a bigger waste of money than diamond rings and $30,000 receptions.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
noshenanigans Donating Member (778 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 10:14 PM
Response to Reply #72
73. My family's all about eloping..
My parents eloped in Hawaii while my Dad was on a break from the war on Vitenam, and my only sister eloped while in Mississippi, to some old plantation thing. This, of course, makes me want to have a "fancy wedding" all the more.

But, we haven't crossed the whole "He's Jewish, I'm not" threshold other than "I don't have to convert", so I don't know what we would even do if we *did* want to get married.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
vixengrl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 10:15 PM
Response to Original message
74. I had two weddings--one free (Daddy paid!) and
the other was pretty cheap. For the first one, when I was twenty-three--I had a to-do at the local VFW Hall for one hundred and fifty, plus drinks, limo to our first hotel, flowers, you know, the whole dress-like-a-wedding cake deal. (If you're in/from Philly, my judge was Seamus McCaffrey--you know, the Eagles judge. It was a nifty thing.) My dad later said, while I was getting divorced and moving back, "I could have just given you the cash." Touching. I'd have taken it.

The marriage to my current spouse (and, he reminds me--last) was done in Vegas--the day before Bartfest Vegas. Yes, I used getting married in Las Vegas as an excuse to go to Bartfest--or was it the other way around? I got my non-cake-like off-white silk mini-dress on clearance for *twelve bucks* and our minister looked cute as a showgirl. Our limo driver was the witness. Definitely, it was the way to go. No family, no *arrangements*, no arbust' (I might've liked the arbust'), no toasters and towels and all the other stuff two already established people don't need. And though it wasn't the big, planned deal, it was really romantic. "Just the Two of Us" played on the radio in the limo on our way to the Chapel. And the couple after us had an Elvis impersonator.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
blondeatlast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 10:19 PM
Response to Original message
75. Less than $500, but we splurged big on the honeymoon.
We've been happily married almost 9 years.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 10:31 PM
Response to Original message
77. My inlaws asked me if I would like them to pay for our wedding...
...or to pay off my student loan. I chose wedding. Anyone here know me from around the time of my wedding? It's truly painful.

I could have had my student loan paid. If only I'd known a car would drive up into my lap and I'd be married in a hospital bed.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 10:37 PM
Response to Original message
79. About $500.
My dress - $60 on sale at Dayton's
My shoes - $30
New tie for husband - $30 (he wore a black suit he already owned)

Flowers - made by a cousin who happened to specialize in silk flowers, discounted price - about $50

Cake from Byerly's - $25

Food trays from Cub - $45

Announcements (we only had 20 people there, so no formal invitations) - $100

Honorarium to pastor - $75

Use of chapel - $40

Champagne - $75

So, I guess that's a little over $500. We also served coffee and punch, but I don't remember the exact cost for that. Pretty negligble.

The ceremony was held at the chapel at my church rather than the huge sanctuary, because it was such a small wedding. It was an 11:00 wedding and we had a lunch reception at my parents' house.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
RandomKoolzip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 10:56 PM
Response to Original message
80. Hey proles!
Me and _____ spent almost zero on our wedding...however, her father spent well over 11,000 bucks on it. We were lucky that he was willing to shell out that much bread for us. It was well worth it, too. I'll post some pics on here sometime.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bling bling Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 03:57 AM
Response to Original message
82. Almost $20,000.00 on wedding/reception.
My parents offered to either give me the cash or I could use it for a wedding party. I chose the party because I knew it would be my one chance to throw the party of my lifetime. I wouldn't change a thing.

When I have kids if I can afford it I'll try to save a little each month as soon as they're born (in addition to college) for their wedding so they can have the chance to have such a grand experience in their lifetime as I did (if they want to).
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
BurtWorm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 04:03 AM
Response to Original message
83. Way, way less than $500
I don't get wedding culture. Neither, fortunately for me, does my wife.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
nickgutierrez Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 04:14 AM
Response to Original message
84. Is this coming up for any particular reason?
:)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 06:21 AM
Response to Original message
85. Ohhhh now I'm scared
I think I'll just elope in Vegas. I couldn't live myself spending too much money on a wedding.
Well, if I marry Derek Jeter, maybe I will splurge...;)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
RadicalMom Donating Member (734 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 07:15 AM
Response to Original message
86. About $1700, but it was 25 years ago dollars.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 11:11 AM
Response to Reply #86
87. pretty reasonable, about 2,000 -2500,
Edited on Thu Jan-06-05 11:11 AM by tigereye
I think. We had it outside in the fall in a city garden ( built in fall flowers) with a Unitarian minister. No fancy dresses, just off the rack suit dress and great red and black hat, with lots of flowers for me. All the guys wore black boots, so we often refer to it as the "black boot" wedding - lots of old punk- types. Rings were made by a guy I met at an arts festival, very reasonable. I did the flowers and table decorations, my sister baked a great carrot cake, and we had the reception for about 40-50, in a hip restaurant that already had art on the walls. Since the cook at the restaurant ran off with my deposit, I got an even better deal and better food, oddly enough. For music, CDS we picked. ( my one regret- if I were doing it again, I would have a band, either friends or hire one.) My best friend and relatives took the pictures.

All in all, a good and relaxed time.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bleedingheart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 11:19 AM
Response to Original message
88. Run down..
First..mom paid for the dinner and the drinks for 135 guests..it was around $24 a piece...and she paid for the 130 dozen cookes that were there...

I paid...

$800 for dress, shoes, veil, undies..etc..
$250 for tux rentals (we covered some of our groomsmen)
$800 for flowers
$1900 for photography (no videos) we gave photos as xmas gifts that year to family and friends who had been in the wedding..
$400 for cake
$400 for a three man polka band that was very good...
$100 tip for the priest
$250 for invites and postage (had them done by a party store)
$200 for odds and ends...special champagne glasses, wedding sign up book..etc

ps..I had only a maid of honor, a matron of honor and a flower girl..the older women were in black and the little one was in white.

I did not give party favors...I think that is a bizarre tradition and to be honest I don't expect to get a favor like it is some sort of birthday party....
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
dr.strangelove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 11:21 AM
Response to Original message
89. Big New York Wedding - Bill was over $30,000
Then we did a small wedding reception in Portland Oregon for our poor school friends who could not fly out to NY. It cost $500 and we had more fun at the Oregon party than the NY party.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ProfessorGAC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 11:40 AM
Response to Original message
91. It Was Right Around $2500, But That Was In 1980
I selected that category, but i probably should have adjusted for inflation to give a better read.

We saved money on the hall. My wife's uncle was a member of the place so we got the hall discounted. Her other uncle was a caterer, so he gave us a break.

And, i got a break on the band, although they were horrible. (But cheap.)

We didn't scrimp much on invitations, since that wasn't a major part of the expenses. (We did send out 200, but at least 2/3rd's were couples or families.) We had about 400 total at the reception, and about 250 at the church.

By today's standards, that's pretty cheap, but i think we were about average for 1980. We knew some couples that had spent more, and some who had spent less.

The Professor
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Tue Apr 23rd 2024, 04:13 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC