f*cking Food Network!

[matcom]

stupid ass show talking about the benefit of "LOW CARB KETCHUP!" x(

fuck that

i don't want FoodTV jumping the shark on MY watch!

i want recipes for ENTERTAINING DAMMIT that actually taste like something!

not some low-carb, calorie-watching dough-boy telling me that "soy bread crumbs" and Splenda are gonna make my food taste better!


ooooooo learn how to make carb-free low fat mayonnaise!!!

wwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

no bitch, i want the REAL mayonnaise thank you.

:puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:
:puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:
:puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:
:puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

WHERE is Mario with my PASTA DAMMIT!!! x(

[KittyWampus]

1. Damn, Everything Isn't All About You. Now Go Suck On Some Lard.

[matcom]

4. you OBVIOUSLY didn't get the MEMO

it now IS all about ME :D

[KittyWampus]

6. D'oh! Why Can't I Have An Overinflated, Pasta Loving Ego

[Sannum]

2. I love Carbs!

[smbolisnch]

15. Ditto!

:D

[GRLMGC]

3. Watch Paula Deen

She puts butter in EVERYTHING

[underpants]

5. How do you cook a jumping shark?

Next on Malted Mario

[matcom]

7. 2 words

Tar Tar

[DS1]

9. Obviously with a laser beam, just practice tracking on planes

:eyes:

[underpants]

12. Oh GOD-Shouldn't I just start off with sea bass?

LMFAO

[DS1]

8. Have you noticed that when you buy chicken breasts these days

they love to point out that there's zero grams of carbs? :eyes:

[underpants]

10. The chicken breasts speak to you?

I thought I was the only one.

[matcom]

11. precisely why i only buy skin-on chicken

rob me of MY flavor will ya!

[underpants]

13. at what point do they take the skin off?

:scared:

[DS1]

14. when you dig deep down for that lonely fiver at the bottom of your wad

I said wad

[underpants]

17. No I take a roll of quarters to strip clubs

See as time goes by and have tipped........well let's just say the diminishing roll of quarters serves two purposes.

[matcom]

19. don't they fall out of the G-Strings?

i mean a whole roll of quarters is pretty heavy and all

[DS1]

24. they make for some fine combat-tassles when you're faced with

the option of clawing your way through the bathroom window or tackling the bouncer at the door

[matcom]

26. combat-tassles

used those in Frankfurt many a time

[underpants]

25. No still tip in dollars

only with quarters. Them strippers they are scared of my sexuality they only come by once per Allman Brothers son.

[redqueen]

28. splain, please?

PM if you must... preeeeety please?

[DS1]

34. was there 'splainin?

because I want to know :D too

[redqueen]

38. No, no 'splainin.

Glad I'm not the only one wondering... :hi:

[underpants]

39. Okay here goes

See as there are less quarters there is more room for "other growth" Get it? The roll stays the same (ahem) size*.

IT was a weak attempt at a joke. If it has to be 'splained it ain't funny.

*size may vary ;-)

[redqueen]

41. Naaaaah,

'splainin the joke always makes it funnier. ;)

[SOteric]

29. Oh for the love of ghod, - learn to bone a chicken already.

Wait!

I forgot who I was talking to.

Nevermind.

[BiggJawn]

33. Is that anything like "stuffing" a Turkey?

"Boning" a chicken?
:evilgrin:

[Left Is Write]

31. Much like the labels on peanut butter during the

"low cholesterol" phase.

Peanut butter jars proudly proclaimed "No cholesterol!" Duh.

[eyesroll]

40. And now, there's low-carb peanut butter

I took a look -- the special branded stuff had an ingredient list a mile long, and had (for the sake of argument) 100 calories and 3 grams carbs per serving.

I looked at the natural stuff -- ingredients: peanuts, salt -- and it had 90 calories and 3 grams carbs per serving.

I guess if you have to have sweetened peanut butter, the "low carb" stuff may be useful...but I prefer the natural stuff anyhow.

[GOPisEvil]

16. WTF?!?!?!?!?!

Hasn't the food network gotten the message that the low carb craze is OVER?!?!?

[underpants]

18. There were Zero carbs in that post

in case you were wondering.

[DS1]

21. well, in the interest of accuracy

there were 14 grams of carbs in that post, but 15 of them where from dietary fibers, ergo a net loss of 1g.

[GOPisEvil]

23. You know way too much about this.

I'm a-feared!

[pimpinella]

20. **wink**

you hear about that new low-carb shampoo?

[Lex]

22. Real Mayo *is* low carb already.

Just sayin'.

[mcscajun]

27. Only one thing More Disgusting than Low-Carb Ketchup...

ANY dish that substitutes Cauliflower for Potatoes.

Screw low-carb! Gimme the Mashed Potatoes and don't spare the butter! Fuck Atkins diets and South Beach Diets!

Pork Fat Really DOES Rule!

Fat carries the flavor...and ain't none of us gonna live forever. May as well enjoy ourselves while we're here.

I just surf right by those silly low-carb, no-carb, weight-loss shows on the Food Network and come back when they're cookin' REAL FOOD.

[Left Is Write]

32. I loathe cauliflower, and it will never fool me into thinking

it's yummy like mashed potatoes.

I do watch my diet and make healthy choices, but nothing is off-limits. I choose appropriate portion sizes, make sure to eat lots of vegetables, whole grains, and fruits, and I'm doing just fine.

[lazarus]

37. um, one misconception

fat has no carbs.

[mcscajun]

42. I know that...

...but I got on a rant there against diets in general.
:)

[Left Is Write]

30. I hope this is just a "New Year's Resolution" fad.

I don't mind an occasional show about light cooking, but I do watch the Food Network for ENTERTAINMENT, and if I can't EAT comfort food, I want to see it on television!

(Low carb KETCHUP??)

[Bridget Burke]

36. Yes, it's a seasonal thing.

Check out the January magazines on the newsstands--the ones that deal with cooking & housekeeping, especially. January's stories are always about losing weight, saving money & getting organized. It's a reaction to the holidays, when we were urged to spend, spend, spend & eat, eat, eat.

The current FOOD TV lineup reflects the seasonal trend. Before long, the diet shows will return to the midday schedule & Emeril will once again be singing the praises of pork fat.

[RebelOne]

35. Vendors are touting low-carb mayonnaise, but if you will

look on the jar, real mayonnaise only has 1 carb.

[CatWoman]

43. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Any time the Food Network gets your goat is a good day!!!!! :P

[jswordy]

44. Geez, even the Food Network is part of the "WHORE MEDIA"...LOL! n/t