In need of a pick me up...

[MessiahRp]

I decided to post this here because I consider DU possibly the only family I have now...

Let me date you back to where this fun story begins...

It is September 2001 and my ex-wife and I are on the verge of a divorce. We don't know how custody placement goes in one of these hearings and my Mom leads me to believe that they could place my son (then 3 years old) in foster care or somewhere out of our control.

After much convincing and over two hard weeks of deliberation I sign over custody papers as does my ex-wife to my Mother making her legal guardian. Or so we thought. We'll get back to this.

After years of wrangling through the thoroughly disorganized Wisconsin Family Court System, we finally got our final divorce date on January 3rd.

The entire time that my Mom had guardianship I still lived with her and my Son in the house. I laid all the ground rules for him, participated in his head start and this year have been very active in his Kindergarten and Cub Scouts. I helped pay the bills and have been a decent Dad. I am by no means father of the year but I never lay a hand on my son, I use wise judgement when it comes to how much TV or Video Games he is allowed to play or exposed to, and I teach him independence (being an only child, this is a neccesity of life).

So when we go into the hearing and have testified that my Mom has guardianship the Judge whips out a letter. It is from my Mom. In it, my Mom lies about me in ways no Mother does to their child. She says I have depressive disorders (which I haven't since I was a screwed up 14 year old), that I am an unfit Father to my son (Chris) and says she refuses to relinquish custody.

My Ex and I went through pro se so we did not have counsel present and figure. Okay whatever we'll just get Chris back.

The next day as I am at work (my Mom and I work at the same place BTW), I notice my Mom has not shown up for work. I get a call from Chris' school on my voicemail that he has not shown up. I start calling around to find out what's going on and after work find out on the way home that my Mom has gone out of her mind.

After I gave her $240 towards the rent she bounced the rent check and received an eviction notice. Her no show from work got her fired. So she went and did something unbelievable.

She went to the police and filed a report that I threatened to kill her. This is complete nonsense but she uses this as leverage to get herself and Chris placed in a safe house where I have no access to even know where my Son is.

I call the reporting officer and he states that he is not filing charges against me and doesn't believe I am a threat but because of the papers she showed him she has custody and can do what she wants.

Well what about those papers now? I started to remember when I signed them. Something was shady about them. First off there was no witnesses present to the signatures other than my Mom and it was signed at my house with no notary present. Secondly an attorney we (my ex and I) called stated that if it was never stipulated in front of a judge and I was not proven unfit the transfer did not occur.

So we went to the probate office and checked it out and she NEVER filed the papers. Great! So I should have custody right? Nope. Because we made it a judge authorized custody when we testified in court that my Mom had custody on January 3rd when we finalized my divorce.

Yesterday my ex and I filed a brief that changed our testimony but we have to wait for the forms to return to us signed by a judge (which can take up to 10 business days) before I can get my son back.

My brother and sister refuse to care about my side. My Mom stabbed me in the back and twisted the knife and I have not communicated with my Father for years really. My son is my only family and I have been on the verge of a breakdown.

Not to mention I have to move now. Remember I lived with my Mom so her eviction notice is mine and I am out the $240 she robbed from me.

I found a place (my good Democratic friend Bill manages an apartment complex and let me move in this weekend) but I have no money, no car, and nope I don't own furniture or even have food for this place. I am flat broke.

Plus I have to look for a job because my job is seasonal and ends at the end of this month.

Why did I post this here? Because I've had a shit load on my mind and absolutely nobody to really talk to about it. I've been on the verge of panic attacks and nervous breakdowns and I have been as emotionally drained as one person could ever be.

But I figured you guys, my DU family, would let me get it all out and even vent with this post.

Thank you for listening in my time of need.

Rp :(

[kayleybeth]

1. Sorry to hear about this, Messiah.

What a terrible ordeal. I hope things get better for you really soon.

[MessiahRp]

5. Thank you Kayleybeth

I appreciate your support. I keep thinking that the rain cloud has to get up and move from over my head but just when I think that a Severe Thunderstorm seems to hit.

Rp

[LDS Jock]

2. check your PMs

I'm so sorry about what you are going through. I don't know if the they (the people in the PM) can help you or not, but please check with them.

:grouphug: :pals:

Scott

[MessiahRp]

4. Thank you...

I will ask them... I think legally the only thing I can do is hurry up and wait. Once the judge changes our testimony my Mom will have to hand over my Son.

Another thing is I had worked hard to build a relationship with his school and they all think I'm some psycho who would issue violent threats now or worse. Not to mention I have been building up my good samaritan status big time and making political connections eyeing a possible elected seat down the road. It's going to be hard to overcome this crap. I hate my Mother now... if you can even call her that. :(

Rp

[fluffernutter]

3. just

:hug: i know it's not much. i'm so sorry. :hug:

[SOteric]

6. Aww dude,

:hug:

I know it's got to be hard to process when you're in the middle of so much hurt and betrayal.

When you get a minute to sort out your thoughts, check into the local food bank and the legal aid society.

Thank goodness for your friend with the apartment complex, and an internet connection that can help you research jobs and information from the legal aid society.

You'll get through this, you're tough and you've got us to care about you.

[Pert_UK]

7. Wow....well that puts my "bad day" into perspective.......

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through such torment, and it's even worse that it's being caused by the very people who should be there to care about you, namely your family.

It sounds like your mum is having real psychological traumas of her own, so try not to be too quick to write her off completely out of your life. However, it's clear that you've got to look out for yourself and your son, and make sure that you focus your thoughts there for the time being.

I'm glad that you've obviously got some friends who are happy and able to help you out at this terrible time, and it does sound like the police believe your side of things but need to follow the procedures in place to protect genuinely vulnerable people.

I wish you all the strength and courage and luck in the world - you can and WILL get through this.

:hug:

P.

[smbolisnch]

8. Messiah

:hug: I wish I had something to say that would make you feel better or make it easier to get through this. It sounds like it's been a terrible ordeal. I am sorry. :hug: