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The guy's post is actually funnier than her response:
Man, I've been using this thing FOREVER to try to get a drummer on this stupid list.
What is wrong with the people on here? Is there an epidemic of Mad Cow going on?
Doesn't anyone of you like post punk minimalist detroit deep house alt-rock with a twist of p-funk added in for groove?
Well, my manager does, so FUCK YOU.
I provide a rehearsal space and I write ALL the songs and they don't even show up for the goddamn rehearsals. I said, hey Max, are you coming? When we talked two weeks ago you said you were down. And he said, Yeah, I'll be there, and then, like, he didn't come. I was standing there with my dick in my hand AGAIN. For the UMPTEENTH goddamn time in a row. So now Paul (the bass player) is mad at me. Do I need to look for a base player too? Aw, MotherFUCK!
So this is the last time. Lets try this again. After this, I am going to give up. I will TEAR UP my demo deal contract with the label and I'll move to New Orleans and become a professional alcoholic and write songs about drinking while I drink myself to death. Fuck you!
Looking for a drummer who is into: The Faint, the Counting Crows, MB20, Dusseldorf Haigmeier, the songs of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, Interpol, Cat Stevens, Kurt Weil, Sisters of Mercy, Pet Sounds, KMFDM and post-Joy Division New Order. Please, no over the hill DEAD HEADS. No nutty Vietnam vets, por favor.
We have a manager, a van, a 24/7 rehearsal studio in Park Slope (thats the really nice area in Brooklyn under the Gowanus Expressway near all them warehouses, for those who don't know) a bass player who really plays in the pocket but who might quit (Paul, don't do it, please, I'll get you back next week, I SWEAR), a lead guitarist (Finch) who is really sleazy and dirty like Jack White meets Johnny Thunders meets Lou Rawls...and my girlfriend is the keyboardist and she is quite comely.
I write all the songs and I sing and dance on the stage and cause riots and get us thrown out of clubs. But you know what they say, no publicity is bad publicity, LOL!
So this is the deal. We got money coming and we need someone committed. We are going to do some kind of concept album involving a farm boy living in Pre WWII Berlin who falls in love with a gypsy showgirl with a heart of gold who is really a member of the Gestapo in disguise, and their whirlwind love affair with the wacky landlord of the flat they share...You know, like a farce.
The money is good. We got everything. I JUST NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN KEEP A BEAT and maybe throw in A COMPETENT freakin' DRUM ROLL who IS NOT A STUPID FUCKING IDIOT. Which I guess is asking alot.
I know it's not the most complicated instruement, drums, but act like a fucking professsional, FOR ONCE in your lives, don't throw your dreams of rock stardom awway for a skanky $20 whore and a dimebag of make-believe coke that's really Mr. Clean.
THANK YOU. SERIOUS DRUMMERS with BRAAIINNNNS can Email me or send me your address for samples/press kit.
Sorry if I offended any NON STUPID IDIOT drummers. Collateral Damage, LOL!
_________________________________________
Woa, there, crackhead. You. Must. Chill.
It's not everybody else. It's you.
You ask, "Doesn't anyone of you like post punk minimalist detroit deep house alt-rock with a twist of p-funk added in for groove?" No, no we don't.
Counting Crows? Mr. Rogers? Just what the hell is wrong with you?
The concept album. "The whirlwind love affair with the wacky landlord of the flat they share…You know, like a farce." Sounds like Three's Company meets Schindler's List. And yes, indeed, it sounds like quite a farce.
Collateral Damage, LOL, indeed.
Rock and roll, baby. Rock. And. Roll.
Want More?
Hit up The Week in Craig Archive.
Amy Blair, winner of The Village Voice's "best website's summary of another website" award, is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.
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