Poll: Americans Feel Safer With Martha Stewart in Jail

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

WASHINGTON, DC (Oct. 12)—According to a poll released by the Pew Research Center Monday, Americans "feel safer" with Martha Stewart in prison.

snip

Of the 2,500 people polled, 22 percent said they "felt safer" and 41 percent said they "felt extremely relieved" when Stewart began serving her five-month sentence at West Virginia's Alderson Prison.

snip

"I don't know the technical aspects of it, but I know that Martha Stewart did something with the stock market," Chicago welder Marvin Manckowicz said. "I'm not sure if she was selling her own stock or someone else's, but I do know that everyone said it was wrong. I breathed easier when I found out she wasn't going to be doing any more of that again for five months."

snip

Of those polled, 62 percent said the five-month sentence was inadequate, with 46 percent of those believing that Stewart should have been imprisoned for 10 years or longer, and 3 percent expressing the belief that she should have received a life sentence.

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4101&n=2&ref=myy

[jellybelly]

1. fake story right?

funny and realistic:silly:

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

2. the onion...blurring the line between news & comedy once again

Like I say when I'm watching the Daily Show, I'd laugh if it weren't true.

[Maddy McCall]

3. Ya know, SWMBO, if I hadn't seen "the onion" in your link...

I would have believed it. So much for an educated populace....I have little faith in my peers. :-)

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

8. Same here

I knew I was reading The Onion but it's just too plausible that people would be that thick. The post-election edition had a top story headlined something like, The nation's poorest vote to give the nation's richest more of their money. Their headline was funnier than that, but it was too true to laugh about.

[izzie]

4. Well she is a Dem.

I feel safer that I do not have to make any more dead sticks for my door-way.But what shall I do with all this spray paint?

[RadicalMom]

9. I don't know about the paint, but I'm starting to shake from

not using my glue gun for months. And the pine cones. Shall I give hem to my bunnies?

[JohnKleeb]

5. I feel safer too

I hope she doesn't have escape :).

[artificial flavor]

6. I agree.

I woke up one night and my girlfriend was knitting a sweater. Normally that would be cool but she was trying to knit it around me. Luckily the needles are blunt so it tickled a little bit. I can only imagine the horror of her soldering the clasp onto a homemade necklace while I sleep.

[BikeWriter]

7. Ask them where the f Ken Delay and his wife are. n/t

[Dr Batsen D Belfry]

10. No only Americans, but curtainrods and mattresses are safer

as well. Our curtainrods and mattresses have expressed concern that traditional linens and curtains have been replaced with less expensive ones. One pillowcase from an unnamed coordinated set stated the entire set felt better about not being outsourced.

DBDB

[rodeodance]

11. yup-those pastel colored sheets were a threat to our security!!