Does anyone wish they could change their personality ?

[hippiechick]

I really, really, really wish I was one of those people who could push to the front of a line or group, manipulate conversations/agendas/events, and just generally make everything 'about me'.

I've run into so many people like that, especially in the last couple years, and for the life of me cannot figure out what gives some people such balls.


Anyone else? :shrug:


:hippie:

[KG]

1. just got to want it and need bad enuff.

never meant that much to me to be a big shot.

[Thtwudbeme]

2. You wish to be a jerk?

OK, that's odd.

just register "Republican," and then stare at your paycheck and resent every cent that goes to something other than Bush's Holy War---there's your starting point.

Then go buy a Hummer so that you can feel safe, and get a tax write off at the same time.

Hope that helps-

Steph

[hippiechick]

3. Oh no, there are plenty on both sides of the aisle

I've seen more than one of the local organizing groups here in Indy taken over by that type, I see it at company functions for my job, and oddly enough see a bit of it here on DU every so often, too.



:hippie:

[Lone_Star_Dem]

4. I wouldn't want to be like that, personally.

I know that I am too sensitive and I've been told I should put myself first. But, hey, that's not my style and I don't think I could live with myself if I were like that. :shrug:

[JohnKleeb]

5. Of course, I hate being so shy

[KG]

6. you're as shy as a granade!

[JohnKleeb]

7. I thought it was grenade

I am too shy, I can be somewhat outgoing though.

[KG]

9. it may be a genade! or even a RPG!

[Merlot]

35. Grenadine, anyone?

[buddhamama]

8. I wouldn't want to those characteristics

become less shy and introverted i guess but the type of person you're describing, no.

[Minimus]

10. I have several personalities

so I am constantly changing to fit the situation.

[hippiechick]

11. Niiiice !!

I want to learn that !!


:hippie:

[supernova]

12. No, I used to, but I'm content with myself

now. What you can do is learn to work with what you've got. Use the desire for control as a means to accomplish things that are important to you.

[GOPisEvil]

13. Not necesarily change, but...

...I'd like to learn how to make the personality I have work for me a little better in certain situations.

[KG]

14. i just wish i had a personality!

:crazy:

[hippiechick]

15. pumpkin spice donuts don't need a personality.

check your inbox. :hug:


:hippie:

[KG]

19. KG - 'he's got all the personality of a pumpkin spice donut.

[hippiechick]

21. Naw ... 'he's as tasty as a pumpkin spice donut'

:silly:


:hippie:

[Zomby Woof]

16. No

I'm a sweetheart and intend to keep it that way.

[buddhamama]

20. good.

I wouldn't want you to change for anything in the world. I love you exactly the way you are. :hug: :loveya:

[auntAgonist]

17. yes...

I wish I were more outgoing, less stuffy, laughed easier.. relaxed more.

[Droopy]

18. I talk a lot here on DU through my writings

but in person I'm quiet. I really have a hard time carrying on conversations with people. If there's one thing that I would change about myself it would be my ability to talk.

[EstimatedProphet]

22. Do you really want to be that way?

I understand what you are saying. From the outside, it looks like those people get what they want. However, they don't get everything they want...
Respect
True friendship
Love
All they get is attention in place of those things, and it doesn't take the place of them. That's why they keep focusing the world on them.

[hippiechick]

25. It's not in my nature to be that way ... but I marvel at them.

That they're just so full of themselves, everyone and everything else becomes an 'accessory'.

:hippie:

[EstimatedProphet]

27. I know the kind of people you mean

Personally I find them disgusting, meanspirited, and vain.
I wouldn't switch places with them in a minute. Mush be hell to have to suffer with whatever emotional injury they have that makes them that way.

[Joe Chi Minh]

61. I usually like extraverts

and assertive types, but I can't stand manipulative people, and find it difficult to tolerate people with an inferiority complex, i.e. whose egos seem to depend on putting other people down. Virtually, inevitably, ineptly.

[T Town Jake]

23. NO...

...I learned long ago that being an asshole, in certain circumstances, is better than being Emily Post's poster child. Not always, or even often, but as necessary. That's my take.

[tjdee]

24. I wish I was one of those loud skankish women who say they're "ALL THAT".

I want to know how it is that they have so much confidence in their physical appearance when I have about zero (well, maybe 2). And I'm probably better looking than they are.

They mystify me.

[Droopy]

26. I think that only happens on Jerry Springer

But I've found women sexy for things other than their appearance. I wouldn't go out with a woman who is conventionally attractive but is a bad person. I know someone who goes after women based only on their looks. The result is that after many tries he hasn't been in a good relationship. He did stay with one woman for about 5 years and had a child, but they were constantly fighting and the end of that relationship should have come much sooner.

[tjdee]

29. Oh, it happens in real life too.

I have seen many women who look and act "busted" as I am informed it's called, acting as if they are the most beautiful woman in the world. And they're loud about it, flaunt themselves, etc.

I admire that quality sometimes, although I am baffled at how they got it and I didn't.

When you find women sexy for things not related to their appearance, it requires a bit more time, doesn't it? It's a lot easier to go to a bar and say look there's a cute girl...I think...

[Droopy]

33. Yeah it does require you to get to know someone a bit

I don't go to bars and I hate one night stands. I've been celibate for a long time. I'm going by what I observe from the people around me.

For instance. There's this one woman I work with that I don't think is conventionally attractive, but when she starts talking she has the nicest perasonality and that makes her attractive. I notice that now that I know her I have become physically attracted to her as well.

[nini]

28. no.. it took me along time to get where I am

I'm not perfect but have learned how to be caring of others but also stand up for myself.

[InvisibleTouch]

30. Nahhh....

Okay, at odd moments I've wondered what it must be like to be one of those people who have spotlessly organized homes (read: floorspace, among other things), who always know exactly where they put everything, have all their important files at their fingertips, never forget to pay a bill or return a library book on time, have a meticulously balanced checkbook, and never have dog hair all over their clothes....

What would it be like to be such a person? Mind-numbingly boring and mundane. What's life without a little chaos and excitement? :)

I'm happy as I am.....

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

39. I agree.

I love who I am too.
I'm also one of those people who pays every bill on time and returns library books on time. I've always been very punctual. However, I wouldn't say I keep our apartment spotless. I probably vacuum the floor maybe once a week at the most. We do have a lot of floor place. I try to keep it that way so that our son has lots of space to run around. However, I tend to let papers and other stuff clutter up my desk space. Oh, I never have dog hair all over my clothes because we don't have a dog.

I don't think my life is boring or mundane at all. I have met lots of interesting people and done lots of interesting things.

Thanks, for reminding to balance my check book. :)

[InvisibleTouch]

53. Good thing we're not roommates!

We'd drive each other crazy. :)

Anyway, to clarify, I've always been in slightly baffled awe of those who do manage to lead a punctual and organized life, but I've stopped beating myself up over my complete inability to do so. Now I just accept the chaos with amusement. An ordered existence would be boring and mundane to me (not necessarily to others), because I'd miss the frantic adrenaline rush of wondering where I put that vital piece of paper and excavating my whole basement in last-second panic ... etc. :)

[Deja Q]

31. In fantasy, yes. In reality, no:

To be a faster thinker, to think on my feet, to engage and win in debate. That is my fantasy personality.

But this is reality. I am who I am. I've tried to consciously change. Not possible. I've tried drugs. They do more harm than good.

[Left Is Write]

32. I don't know. Sometimes.

Sometimes I'm too sensitive for my own good.

[Bouncy Ball]

50. ...

:hug:

FWIW, I've never noticed that!

[Dastard Stepchild]

34. I'd like to be more assertive...

I have a fair level of self-advocacy, but I sometimes keep silent when I think I have cause to make a peep. And I wish with all my might that I wasn't so TRAUMATIZED by public speaking :)

[XNASA]

36. I would like to change all 11 of my personalities.

At least a couple of them.

[Nikia]

37. I wish that I could avoid being nervous

I know that it is a handicap for me. I can't make good first impressions because I am usually scared upon meeting someone for the first time, especially in important situations like interviews.
I suppose that this is a health issue more than a personality issue, but it has been part of my personality as a child. I have Xanax that I can take for a panic attack or other high anxiety event but it renders me mentally impaired, which is bad for a job interview. I have done cognitive behaviorial therapy which has helped somewhat, but not completely.

[sundog]

38. Not really...

I could stand to smooth out the rough edges & carry a little more love at times... but all those things can be done with time, patience & thoughtfulness.

[RagingInMiami]

40. I just wish I was less of a slacker

[SarahB]

41. I'm pretty good the way I am.

I often wish I could be more confident though. It gets better though the older I get.

Edit:
Although, I should say, in professional settings, I'm an excellent schmoozer when I need to be. Sometimes, you just have to fake it until you make it I guess.

[Wapsie B]

42. Yes.

If I were more outgoing and extroverted it'd be so much easier in the job market to get a better job and a promotion. Romantically I could overcome the fact of being overweight with a more bubbly personality that drew people in.

As it is, being an intensly private person has not been a piece of cake.
I'm looked on as being the oddball, not quite fitting into any group or clique. Always feeling like I'm on the outside looking in. Life would be one helluva lot easier if I could just schmooze. No one wants to hire/promote/sleep with a tormented loner. At least a 300# loner anyway.

[Ladyhawk]

43. I wish I could find a balance between paranoia...

...and healthy skepticism. I have a fundamental mistrust of human beings. I want to believe that there are more than just a few good people out there, but experience has shown me otherwise.

Luckily, I can put on façades and be outgoing in certain situations and meek and mild in others. Sometimes my perceived social inferiority complex leads me to take an outgoing façade too far. Then I feel a lot of shame.

But for the most part trying on different parts of my personality isn't an issue. Trust is.

[Donkeyboy75]

44. .

:thumbsup:

[fluffernutter]

45. i wish i didn't procrastinate so much

[KG]

51. me, too. and one of these days i'm gonna do something about it!

[arwalden]

46. I Know Precisely What You Mean... Annoying, Isn't It?

:loveya:

[Bouncy Ball]

47. Well I wouldn't want what you described, no.

I prefer anonymity. I've even had people in real life ask me about running for elected office and I'm pretty emphatic that I don't want to. I truly feel I am better used as the fire under an elected person's feet rather than the elected person with their feet on fire!

That being said, I haven't read the rest of this thread yet, so maybe I should now.

I guess if I could change anything about myself, it would be to procrastinate less and get more done.

Ok on edit, now that I have read everything, I am perfectly happy with my level of assertiveness. I spent most of my life being a total doormat and finally got sick of it and gradually learned to speak up for myself.

As for people who act the way YOU described, hippiechick, I know a few. I don't pay them much nevermind.

[GRLMGC]

48. Kind of

I let people push me around too much and I'm too self conscious. I'd rather keep my personality though in exchange for a new body :)

[jellybelly]

49. I wish I could lie sometimes

I can't tell a lie, I'm mean and evil all the time.

[amazona]

52. yeah

Well, not really. But I wish I could sell stuff. People who can sell can always make money. I wouldn't want to give up having an interior life, however, which seems to be part and parcel of the salesperson's mentality in the salespeople I've been close to.

[Santa Cruz]

54. Nope.

[u4ic]

55. A bit

I'd like to be more comfortable in groups, to schmooze or network. I have no problem with public speaking - but speaking in groups...like at parties...is something entirely different for me. Or when I don't know anybody. I find it quite daunting.

Talking one on one is the most comfortable for me; but the above would be a useful skill.

I'd also like to be able to roll with the punches more. Life gets me really down sometimes.

[Lenape85]

56. You took the words right out of my mouth

[Gothic Sponge]

57. I sometimes wish i could stop caring.

It would be a comfort to be a sheeple.

:(

[Lorien]

58. Every day. I wish I were a natural extrovert

(I fake it fairly well). And I wish I could be more "bubbly and fun." I don't have natural charisma. It's weird, I always end up in a leadership role when I work for anyone (mostly because I get sick of corporate BS and end up taking the reins because no one else steps up to the plate) but I don't draw people to me.

[Parche]

59. personality

Only Peter Brady wants to change his

[HEyHEY]

60. Hey - I have some news for you!

PM me...

[Susang]

62. I hear ya

It gets to you after awhile, being around that type. You always end up feeling like a bit player in their life drama. It's almost like watching a movie being filmed where you've unwittingly stepped into the set.

All I can tell you is, that in my experience, people like that may seem to get everything they want and get all the attention, but that's because some fundamental human need is not being met for them.

There's really no need to "Look at me!" if you're comfortable in your own skin. People will naturally look at others with personality and talent. It's when insecurity tells that person that they don't possess said qualities that fear sets in and the demands for love and attention begin to start. After awhile, that's becomes the default mode for relating to others for that individual. It's a hard pattern for someone to get themselves out of.

I try not to let it get to me too much. It's hard, particularly since I'm around insecure actors, musicians, comics and writers all the time, but it's possible. I'm sure you can eventually do the same with whomever's bothering you. :-)

[fudge stripe cookays]

63. I 'm pretty happy with me.

I used to be extremely nervous around the opposite sex in high school, but got over it. And early college was scary--just going to the cafeteria by myself on the weekends used to freak me out. So I always took books with me so I wouldn't have to deal with other people.

I still do it, only now it's because it's some of the only free time I get to read.

And somehow, I've conquered just about every other fear I have. Conquered public speaking with a speech class in college (enough to lead a Dean meetup).

And I get told a lot that I have a great personality. I'm VERY outspoken, whcih can get me into trouble, but people always know where they stand with me.

FSC

By the way, nice topic. And nice choice of timing.