What's the WORST Fortune Cookie Message You've Ever Gotten?

[Placebo]

I just got one that said, "Your feelings are intense and warm." :wtf: mmmmmKay

[Bouncy Ball]

1. It said

"Someday you will get better in bed."

I didn't know if that meant I will recover from an illness while lying in bed or if I am currently bad IN BED and will someday be a sex goddess.

:shrug:

[Seabiscuit]

2. "This is the last day of the rest of your life."

Just kidding. :)

[Osamasux]

3. "Please pay now, while you have the chance."

[Sydnie]

4. I swear I did

"You're not fat you're pregnant." I just about died!!!

[koneko]

5. heh-heh

I order Chinese food with some friends at work every so often, and it's out practice to add "in bed" to the end of each fortune. It usually ends up quite funny.

Try it this way -

"Your feelings are intense & warm - in bed" :evilgrin:

[Placebo]

10. HaHa!

Now that's a fortune i'd like to get. And it would ring true. :D

[CornField]

6. It was completely blank

I asked the waitress and she said, "Hmmm.... no news is good news?"

[sakabatou]

7. "This is not a fortune."

:wtf:

[Skittles]

8. THAT WASN'T CHICKEN

:o

I jest; can't remember one now.

[Floogeldy]

9. LOL

[put out]

11. Intense and warm. Have you checked your smoke detectors?

I got one that said "You may know sadness". In the future, or in the past, or did I get all that shit over with?

[arwalden]

12. Add The Words "... IN BED" To The End Of Every Fortune Cookie Fortune.

Then they all sound good.

[Floogeldy]

13. "YOU WILL DIE A PAINFUL DEATH AND BURN IN HELL! HA HA HA!"

[virgdem]

14. Help, I'm a prisoner in a fortune cookie factory!

sorry, I couldn't resist.

[WildClarySage]

15. I hate the ones that aren't fortunes, but are descriptions

like, "You like to laugh and have a sense of humor"

I mean, who's gonna read that and say "gee, no, that really isn't me"?

[NVMojo]

16. a blank one ...

[Zeke]

17. It said: You will find true love on Flag Day.

I mean, what the Hell is that?

[LDS Jock]

18. "You long to see the great pyramids of Egypt"

thats a fortune?

[DFLforever]

19. Every downhill is followed by an uphill!

Talk about discouraging. At first I thought it was translated wrong.
Upon reflection, I thought it could be an East vs West thing, emphasizing differing aspects of the same thing.

[grasswire]

20. heh

"If you can read this, the poison hasn't worked."

And years ago I bought a cotton Chinese jacket in Chinatown SF, with Chinese characters on it. I finally got someone to translate it for me:

"This is a cheap dish, but tasty."