Jesus is at your door.

[Gothic Sponge]

[StopTheMorans]

1. *turns off lights and hides behind couch*

[ret5hd]

2. act busy!

[liberal N proud]

3. If it is Jesus, He dosn't need to knock

He can just come through the door.

[noshenanigans]

5. Dude, Jesus has manners.

How weird would that be, though, if you're just sitting on the couch in your underwear and a guy mists through the door and just looks at you.

[Ian David]

6. Jesus goes door-to-door

Jesus: "Shalom! Hi! Have you found me?"

Man: "Found you?"

Jesus: "Yes, I'm Jesus. Have you found me yet?"

Man: "Well... you're standing right there."

Jesus: "I mean, have you given your heart to me?

Man: "My heart... you... what was your name again?"

Man: Jesus: "Jesus. I am Jesus."

Man: "Jesus....?"

Jesus: "Christ. Jesus Christ."

Man: "Look, there's no reason to get nasty about it!"

Jesus: "No, my name is Jesus Christ."

Man: "Oh. I see. Wait a minute, OK? (Calling into the house: No, honey! It's not a salesman! It's another Jesus Christ again!) Look, I'm sorry, but you're the second Jesus Christ to come here this month."

Jesus: "If this is a bad time..."

Man: "Kind of. I've got some people coming over to watch the game in a little bit."

Jesus: "Oh, The Lakers game? Do you know the spread on that?"

Man: "Look, I really don't have time... which kind of Jesus are you?"

Jesus: "Kind?"

Man: "Yeah. Are you the Catholic Jesus, the Jehovah's Witness Jesus, Mormon Jesus, Baptist Jesus..."

Jesus: "I'm Jesus. Just plain Jesus. Anyway... has Mohamed been here yet?"

Man: "No, we haven't seen a Mohamed here in about two years or so. We did have a Vishnu yesterday, though. It was a nice change. I'd never seen a Vishnu before."

Jesus #2 "Hi, have you found me?"

Jesus: "Beat it, I'm already working this house."

Jesus#2: "Oh, I'm sorry. Has Mohamed been here yet? I saw him about three blocks down?"

Man: "No, not yet. Now listen, I have to get going. Thank you both for stopping by."

Jesus: "Peace be with you."

Jesus #2: "Go in peace."

Jesus #1 and #2 together: "Shabbat Shalom!"

Man: "Yeah, later. Shabbat Shalom."

Jesus #1 to Jesus #2: "You want to go get something to nosh?"

Jesus #2: "Loaves and fishes?"

Jesus #1: "Sure. Is it too early for wine?"

Jesus #2: "Oh, why not. I have a bottle of Evian in my satchel. Do you want to do the honors?"

Jesus #1: "Look, there's Moses. You wanna goof on him? I owe him payback for those locusts last week."

[tavalon]

4. Wow, come on in!

It's so nice of you to come by. I'll put on some coffee, please, have a seat, I have so many questions for you. Of course, most of them are about your supposed followers. For instance...........

I suspect we'd have a darn fine pow-wow and I doubt we'd be talking from opposite sides. Jesus was quite the lefty, at least as he was portrayed in the Bible.

On edit: In the spirit of full disclosure, I should mention that I'm Wiccan. I don't think that would matter one bit to Jesus but it might to some of you reading this. I don't know.

[sniffa]

7. heLLo jesus

can i interest you in a subscription to watchtower?

[LDS Jock]

8. putting in your witnessing hours sniffa?

I didn't know you were a j-dub

[sniffa]

9. are you prepared

for the coming of jehovah?

don't i Look great in my white coLLared shirt and bLack tie?

[LDS Jock]

10. if they looked like you

I'd let them come in when they knock on my door

[DS1]

11. Time to fill up the bong with the chilled Britta water

Because Jesus deserves a nice clean hit - but he's packing the second bowl }(