My SWM = Stinky Wind Machine

[The empressof all]

Why is it that the moment this man is in bed he has amazing fits of flatulence. It would seem that when he lays down and relaxes he loses all control and becomes a slave to his sphincter. He doesn't even try to hide it anymore. I love him but I really don't need to share this level of intimacy.

Is the romance gone?

Can this marriage be saved?

[SmileyBoy]

1. "Becomes a slave to his sphincter", LOL!!!

Depends on how bad they stink. Are we talking about a mild irritating odor, or are we talking about the all-out decomposed flesh/rotten eggs/burnt popcorn thing here??

[Mabus]

10. Or as I once foolishly asked

"what the f***! Did something crawl up your ass and die tonight?"

His reply: "No. It crawled up the other day. He liked it and lived a full natural life. Tonight's rendition of taps is for him."

[Bouncy Ball]

2. Encourage him to going back to being more subtle about it.

There is such a thing as politeness about it, and while the three of us (me, husband and daughter) ARE quite close, we have all agreed to the rule of GO TO ANOTHER ROOM IF YOU POSSIBLY CAN. Or otherwise try to get away from the other two people so you don't pollute their airspace.

It's worked quite well.

Now when he's sleeping, he can't help that. Blech.

[The empressof all]

3. Yes I've tried to encourage politeness

The problem is at it's worst when we retire. It usually happens when he is just falling asleep. He lays down and I think all his "hot air" gets redistributed and needs to escape. He's a yacker by nature and I tell him it's just the rebound of what comes out of his mouth all day.

[miss_kitty]

4. Charcoal Pills (stops the smell, not the gas) or Beano (stops the gas)

or other digestive enzymes? Gas is manufactured by bacteria in the colon that is breaking down carbs. Perhaps a slight dietary adjustment is in order? :shrug:

[AlCzervik]

5. my husband is the same way

and i notice even more now because m-f he lives in a different city than my daughter and i so when he comes home on Friday night the bands starts up again when we go to sleep. I try to get him to eat dinner at least 3 hours before he goes to bed but that hasn't helped a whole lot. He said he's willing to try beano.

[Nitrogenica]

6. Give him an affectionate knickname that fits~ like "Assy"

[KG]

7. when a man feels ok about farting in front of his woman - the romance is

definitely gone!!

[Nitrogenica]

8. They call flatulence in bed

a dutch oven

[Mabus]

9. My SWM

claims it is because of the leveling that occurs when he is prone. Of course he also claims he loses three ounces with every one of them (something he got from my dear brother).


Do you get "commentary" for each one too. His favorite sayings are things like "this one's for you," "been saving it all day just for you," and (when they hurt him) "ouch, that one's triangular."


I don't think the romance is over. Ours certainly isn't. When we head to bed I wait about five minutes and then go ready the coffee pot for the next morning and check the doors. These few minutes I leave him alone gives him time to "level out." BTW, I usually come back with some incense.

[qnr]

11. I feel for you, our dog has be at it for almost a week now n/t

[rasputin1952]

12. Locking....Please...body function threads of this nature...

are really not appropriate.