Rabrrrrrr
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Tue Jan-11-05 06:53 PM
Original message |
Because I hate you and don't respect your space, I'm smoking in the Lounge |
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Cigarettes, cigars, pipes, the whole works. I've got 'em all burning and I'm blowing the smoke in your face, too. I'm also wearing my hat, a cheap plastic redneck freeper-filth red Copenhagen baseball hat, even though we're inside, and I'm spitting tobacco on the floor. Oh, my leg is also propped up over the arm of the chair and I'm scratching myself and I've spilled six Millers already onto the astroturf that I'm using for an inside rug.
So there. Nyah.
:P
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Worst Username Ever
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Tue Jan-11-05 06:54 PM
Response to Original message |
1. Just keep your shoes off the table. |
Rabrrrrrr
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Tue Jan-11-05 06:56 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
4. Dude, where do you think they landed when I kicked them off? |
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I had to kick the shoes off cuz they was covered in manure or someone's blood or something, and I needed to use my pocketknife to pick out the crud under the toenails and peel off some of the calluses and blisters. I don't know why they get so damned dirty.
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RevolutionaryActs
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Tue Jan-11-05 06:55 PM
Response to Original message |
2. *cough, cough* *gag* *hack* *die* |
Misunderestimator
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Tue Jan-11-05 06:55 PM
Response to Original message |
3. Hey there... Can I have a light? |
Joe Power
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Tue Jan-11-05 06:57 PM
Response to Original message |
5. I'll just sit next to you and fart. |
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Edited on Tue Jan-11-05 06:57 PM by Joe Power
Ever smell what a bowl of raisin bran washed down with a whey protein and egg smoothie can do?
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Thor_MN
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Wed Jan-12-05 09:00 PM
Response to Reply #5 |
34. What?? No onions or peppers to back up the egg sulpher? |
bigwillq
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Tue Jan-11-05 07:01 PM
Response to Original message |
6. This is the type of thread I love |
Ready4Change
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Tue Jan-11-05 07:02 PM
Response to Original message |
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Just as I'm sure you won't mind me pissing in your beers.
Cheers!
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Rabrrrrrr
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Tue Jan-11-05 07:04 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
8. Go right ahead! I just pissed in my pants and on the chair |
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and on the floor and all over my hand as well.
Why bother getting up? I just whip it out and let 'er fly.
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Joe Chi Minh
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Tue Jan-11-05 07:21 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
11. So you're not a gentleman, then? |
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You don't get out of the bath to have a slash?
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Rabrrrrrr
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Tue Jan-11-05 09:00 PM
Response to Reply #11 |
19. Depends on what you mean by gentleman. |
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And who takes a bath? Gross.
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Spinzonner
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Tue Jan-11-05 07:13 PM
Response to Original message |
9. Is that the best you can do |
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That wouldn't even get you onto Shrub's 'ranch'
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sendero
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Tue Jan-11-05 07:17 PM
Response to Original message |
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... I'll light up a Camel. I hope nobody minds :)
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fluffernutter
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Tue Jan-11-05 07:30 PM
Response to Original message |
12. okay, who are you and what have you done w/Rabrrrrrr? |
Bunny
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Tue Jan-11-05 07:49 PM
Response to Original message |
13. Fine. If that's how you're gonna be, I'm just gonna bring out ALL of my |
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fabulous, collectable, Thomas Kincaide paintings! And decorate the Lounge with them! So there! :P
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Rabrrrrrr
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Tue Jan-11-05 07:56 PM
Response to Reply #13 |
15. That's fine! I'm already flinging my feces around and playing rap music |
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really loudly on my boombox. Might as well add some paintings to destroy, too.
Did I mention that I'm also chewing on a toothpick like some toothless, barely literate idiot who shows all the signs of having had a mom addicted to crack during the pregnancy?
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ornotna
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Tue Jan-11-05 07:56 PM
Response to Original message |
14. I don't give a rat fart what you do |
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Hey, I don't have to live with you....you do. :evilgrin:
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rbnyc
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Tue Jan-11-05 07:56 PM
Response to Original message |
16. Good thing my baby's at grandma's... |
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...or I'd kick your ass!!
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Rabrrrrrr
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Tue Jan-11-05 09:01 PM
Response to Reply #16 |
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You coyuld only do it by kicking through the old dusty cheeto-laden lazy-boy I'm sitting on anyway, and you don't want to know what your foot would have to travel through first.
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Bill Lumbergh
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Tue Jan-11-05 07:58 PM
Response to Original message |
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I lobbied Pataki with the American Lung Association to pass the cigarette ban in NYS.
Now you guys can't smoke in any public place. I love it. Clean air, finally. It just angered me for years when people would smoke in restaurants and bowling alleys and I would have to breathe that putrid stench.
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Midlodemocrat
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Tue Jan-11-05 07:59 PM
Response to Original message |
18. You, sir, are disgusting. |
Rabrrrrrr
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Wed Jan-12-05 08:45 PM
Response to Reply #18 |
33. No no no. I'm funny, but disgusting. |
NNadir
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Tue Jan-11-05 09:03 PM
Response to Original message |
21. Mmmm. I'm surprised I'm not coughing. I'll bet you are though. |
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Edited on Tue Jan-11-05 09:03 PM by NNadir
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Rabrrrrrr
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Tue Jan-11-05 09:03 PM
Response to Reply #21 |
22. Yeah, there's some coughing. But I just spit the mucous |
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on the floor, like my granny.
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NNadir
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Tue Jan-11-05 09:11 PM
Response to Reply #22 |
23. I'm not cleaning it up. I think I'll just leave the room. |
Rabrrrrrr
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Tue Jan-11-05 09:12 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
24. Did I mention the scratching? I just want to make sure you all |
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know that I'm scratching. I'm also scratching some scabies I have on my arm from when that dork-ass Todd burned me with his splif at the Maiden concert. Oh, god, that was hilarious!
Plus the other scratching.
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NNadir
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Tue Jan-11-05 09:15 PM
Response to Reply #24 |
25. I hope you can hear me as I call out from the next room while putting my |
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coat on to leave...but those weren't lice were they?
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Rabrrrrrr
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Tue Jan-11-05 09:17 PM
Response to Reply #25 |
27. Probably. That's what my social worker thought, |
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but then she's just a dumb bitch, so who knows? And who cares? They don't bother me, I don't bother them, and I think they keep my hair clean.
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mtnsnake
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Tue Jan-11-05 09:17 PM
Response to Original message |
26. You're the reason I hate people |
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:evilgrin: :yourock:
:smoke:
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Rabrrrrrr
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Wed Jan-12-05 09:58 AM
Response to Original message |
28. Whew! Musta passed out for a while from the sterno, but I'm awake again, |
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and firing up some fine baccy (brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp brrrrrrrp buuuuuuurrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppPPPPPPPPPppppppp) products (hack hack spit).
Looks I pissed myself overnight, too. Oh well - not like I'm not used to it. LOL!!
Hey - Ma - throw me a beer, would ya? It's almost 9 am!
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dolo amber
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Wed Jan-12-05 10:02 AM
Response to Original message |
29. Just remember to put the seat down in the loo, sweetie |
Rabrrrrrr
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Wed Jan-12-05 10:04 AM
Response to Reply #29 |
30. Oh, right. Like I'm going to get out of my chair and WALK to what amounts |
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to just another chair just to go to the bathroom?
I don't think so.
I'm already in a chair, sweetie.
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dolo amber
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Wed Jan-12-05 10:15 AM
Response to Reply #30 |
31. I've never thought of it that way! |
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YAY! I'm going to soil myself right now! :D
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Rabrrrrrr
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Wed Jan-12-05 04:07 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
32. Excellent! Send pictures. |
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But don't send 'em to me. Anyway, here: have another Schlitz while I loudly pass gas and spit some more bloody phlegm at the TV.
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greatauntoftriplets
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Wed Jan-12-05 09:04 PM
Response to Original message |
35. Cough, cough, cough.... |
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Opening the windows. I don't care how chilly and wet it is outside.
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mike_c
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Wed Jan-12-05 09:04 PM
Response to Original message |
36. I just scratched my hemorroids, looked at my finger-- eeww... |
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...and wiped it on your curtains.
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Rabrrrrrr
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Wed Jan-12-05 09:46 PM
Response to Reply #36 |
38. Good idea - the curtains are the main area for wiping |
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Can't tell you much pus I've wiped there from sores and STDs and these zits that are like the size of the craters on the moon. Man, those were big! Should have seen the shit fly out of 'em when ma popped 'em with a barbie pin. And those were just the acne on my ass!
Yeah, all sorts of shit in those curtains. I think Pneumatic Tom used to wipe his dick on it when he had VD and I know great granddad used 'em for his boils.
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mike_c
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Thu Jan-13-05 12:12 AM
Response to Reply #38 |
39. I bow before a true master.... |
Thor_MN
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Wed Jan-12-05 09:05 PM
Response to Original message |
37. Nothing that the firehose and the dumpster can't handle when you're done |
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I'm gonna be wearing the bio-hazard suit with the self-contained air supply when I hose out the place, mind you, but whatever... Just let me know when.
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