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How old are children when they can knowingly lie?

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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 09:07 AM
Original message
How old are children when they can knowingly lie?
I ask this because several weeks back, my then 21 month old daughter and I were home alone waiting for my wife to get home from work. I was seated at the PC and my daughter had a cup of water and was sitting a bit behind me.

Well, after a few seconds of her drinking the water, I turned around and checked my email or whatever. I heard the water splashing and knowing that she had her hand in the cup playing with the water, I asked, "Grace, what are you doing?" and then I turned around.

As I was turning, she said, "drinking" and started picking the cup up to her mouth. I smiled a bit and then turned back around.

No sooner had I turned around when I hear the splashing again, so I said, "Grace, what are you doing?" and started to turn around again.

Again, she said "drinking" and started picking the glass up to her mouth. So, now I'm trying not to laugh and turned back around and she did the same thing again... and when i again asked her what she was doing, she picked the cup up to her mouth and said "drinking."

Now, does she know she is lying or is she just being a little naughty?


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sui generis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 09:15 AM
Response to Original message
1. lying may be too strong
Edited on Wed Jan-12-05 09:15 AM by sui generis
it carries a different weight of intent. She is being deceptive because she knows there's an expectation of a behavior there. She is also testing how a personal choice can vary from expectation; it's a learning process but not bad seed stuff.

In my experience, just around 2 years is when these experiments begin.

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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 09:31 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. I'm not worried about her being a bad seed
She's pretty good most of the time, though she has her mom's temper.

And, I read somewhere else that children can fake a cough to get attention as early as 3-4 months old.

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Lavender Brown Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 09:21 AM
Response to Original message
2. I think we learn manipulation very young
Maybe as soon as we can talk! At least this is what I've observed in my nephew. :shrug:
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gollygee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 09:37 AM
Response to Original message
4. She doesn't know she's lying
an understanding between reality and fantasy isn't established till kids are much older than that. Also, she doesn't understand the power of words yet. If you say something is not going to happen, it doesn't. So she figures, if I say it didn't happen maybe it didn't happen.


from http://askdrsears.com/html/6/t120100.asp#T120400

THE AGE OF TRUTH
Preschoolers usually can't (or don't want to) distinguish fact from fiction. To a four- or five-year-old, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs exist somewhere. Most children don't begin to understand truth and falsehood until the age of seven – the age of reason. By eight or nine most children have, or should have, a sense of morality. They feel wrong when they don't tell the truth and right when they do. They understand what "lying" means and can feel "it's right to tell the truth."
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 10:02 AM
Response to Original message
5. She's already started down the dark path. I see no hope for her.
Next stop: young republicans.

I'm sorry, but there's really no way to cure her this late in her life.

:P

Just kidding. At her age, I'm sure she sees no real differentiation between playing with the water in a cup and drinking the water that's in the cup.
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BBradley Donating Member (645 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 10:13 AM
Response to Original message
6. The first time I can remember knowingly doing something
that I shouldn't have been was when I was 5. I stole a pack of gum from the store. Before that I can't remember a day...
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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 10:43 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. I think I was about the same age
I swiped a pack of football cards because I saw OJ Simpson was in the pack, and everybody loved the Juice back then.

I think that's the only thing I've stolen in my life.

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liontamer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 11:02 AM
Response to Original message
8. she knows she's lying
she just doesn't know that it's wrong. The ability to lie shows up right after the ability to misbehave. Her understanding of right and wrong however will take time.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 11:08 AM
Response to Original message
9. I bet they can do it really early. Those apes that they have taught to...
communicate lie too. I was reading about one of them who had broken something in the room (a sink iirc) and blamed it on one of the handlers who wasn't present when asked about it.
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