nickgutierrez
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Thu Jan-13-05 02:32 AM
Original message |
You know a movie is going to be bad when... |
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The first name in the credits is Bert Reynolds.
Post your 'favorites'.
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EstimatedProphet
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Thu Jan-13-05 02:34 AM
Response to Original message |
1. when the star is Britney Spears or the Spice Girls |
BelleCarolinaPeridot
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Thu Jan-13-05 02:36 AM
Response to Original message |
2. Its one of those ABC Family Channel movies ... |
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Edited on Thu Jan-13-05 02:37 AM by CarolinaPeridot
Its a moving starring Jennifer Love Hewitt ...
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nickgutierrez
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Thu Jan-13-05 02:46 AM
Response to Reply #2 |
10. Or the Lifetime Channel |
Sandpiper
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Thu Jan-13-05 02:37 AM
Response to Original message |
3. When it stars Ben Affleck |
nickgutierrez
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Thu Jan-13-05 02:38 AM
Response to Reply #3 |
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Or Jason Biggs Or Ben Stiller Or... you get the idea.
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Kire
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Thu Jan-13-05 02:42 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
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Edited on Thu Jan-13-05 02:43 AM by Kire
you get the idea
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BelleCarolinaPeridot
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Thu Jan-13-05 03:35 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
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Any movie starring Meredith Baxter Birney , Melissa Gilbert or Victoria Principal .
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JohnKleeb
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Thu Jan-13-05 07:41 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
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Dogma with both Damon and Affleck was great Stiller was great in Something about Mary and Dodgeball.
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Guaranteed
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:17 AM
Response to Reply #18 |
23. The Bourne series are a couple of the best action movies |
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I've ever seen, and the Talented Mr. Ripley contained a superb performance by Damon, as well as being an excellent movie.
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ProfessorGAC
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:33 AM
Response to Reply #18 |
41. Damon Was Great In Rounders, Too |
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Hey, he was in that movie with Landau, Norton, and Malkovich. If he didn't have skills, he would have been annihilated. He wasn't. Superb performance. Matt Damon has the chops. The Professor
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Kenneth ken
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Thu Jan-13-05 02:39 AM
Response to Original message |
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the adverts say "music by...<insert numerous bands here> rather than say who the actors are. :scared:
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ronzo
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Thu Jan-13-05 02:42 AM
Response to Original message |
6. Two words... Dolph. Lundgren. |
Mojambo
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Thu Jan-13-05 03:38 AM
Response to Reply #6 |
16. Two more... Pauly. Shore. |
ronzo
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:11 AM
Response to Reply #16 |
47. At least we were spared that duo in a cop buddy flick. |
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c'mon... you know somebody pitched that back in 1992.
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LiberalVoice
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Thu Jan-13-05 02:42 AM
Response to Original message |
7. You know a movie is going to be bad when... |
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...it's called "Tank Girl"
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nickgutierrez
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Thu Jan-13-05 03:17 AM
Response to Reply #7 |
alittlelark
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Thu Jan-13-05 02:45 AM
Response to Original message |
9. The previews show only the special effects....n/t |
Dogmudgeon
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Thu Jan-13-05 02:48 AM
Response to Original message |
11. When it was written by Allen Smithee |
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Edited on Thu Jan-13-05 02:50 AM by Pigwidgeon
--p! Bring a little rebirth to politics and to Humankind. Display the Eye of Horus in honor of Scott "Khephra" Lowery and affirm his vision of a renewed America.
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fishwax
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:32 AM
Response to Reply #11 |
40. or directed by him (n/t) |
WCGreen
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Thu Jan-13-05 03:24 AM
Response to Original message |
13. When the Trailer Starts..... In A World......... |
Strawman
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:31 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
Strawman
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:33 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
53. or ends with "so-and-so is..." |
barackmyworld
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Thu Jan-13-05 03:25 AM
Response to Original message |
14. when the preview includes the words "wacky adventure" |
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they are usually movies about safari animals that act like people and do crazy things
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livinginphotographs
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:44 AM
Response to Reply #14 |
25. Any movie with the word "wacky" anywhere in it |
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(e.g. title, dialogue, etc.) should be boycotted!!!
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ET Awful
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Thu Jan-13-05 07:38 AM
Response to Original message |
17. You know a movie is going to be bad when . . . |
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Edited on Thu Jan-13-05 07:41 AM by ET Awful
The Freepers are excited and happy about it's release.
on edit: It must be REALLY bad to star Bert Reynolds, what, they couldn't get Burt? :) Burt has done some okay stuff since he got older, it's his younger days that blew. For instance, I thought Boogie Nights was an okay movie, not great, but entertaining. Then again, he wasn't the FIRST name in the credits on that one, so you may be right :)
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BigMcLargehuge
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:46 AM
Response to Reply #17 |
28. Bert was good in a couple of his late 80's flicks |
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Breaking In, Heat, Switching Channels. Of course these are all overshadowed by the horror that is Stroker Ace.
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HughBeaumont
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:08 AM
Response to Original message |
19. "From the Director of Clerks . ..." |
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Sorry, but I don't really see what's so flipping great about KS.
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jonnyblitz
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:19 AM
Response to Reply #19 |
Jeff in Cincinnati
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:09 AM
Response to Original message |
20. If the title contains the word "Ishtar" |
terrya
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:12 AM
Response to Original message |
21. When the credits say: Directed by Michael Bay |
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A worthless, untalented director of such pieces of celluoid shite as "Armageddon" and "Pearl Harbor". Crappy, special effects laden bullshit with zero character development. The dialogue in his films is trite, amateurish and laughable. But, due to the dumbing down of American culture, his films rake in big bucks at the box office.
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Feathered Fish
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:15 AM
Response to Original message |
22. When the only praise the film gets |
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is from Wireless Magazine or Larry King.
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BigMcLargehuge
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:42 AM
Response to Original message |
24. you find yourself looking forward to the "guest appearance" from |
livinginphotographs
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:44 AM
Response to Original message |
26. When it stars a rapping kangaroo. |
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Good god, what were they thinking?
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terrya
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:54 AM
Response to Reply #26 |
30. When the film stars Jerry O'Connell. |
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The guy has had ONE good movie: "Stand By Me". But the he grew up, lost the weight, and turned into a crappy, Grade Z actor in crappy, Grade Z movies.
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livinginphotographs
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:55 AM
Response to Reply #30 |
31. First season of Sliders was cool. |
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So I'll give him an ounce of forgiveness for his future suckiness.
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DS1
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:01 AM
Response to Reply #30 |
34. I have such an intense dislike for the guy. |
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He irritates me like few others, maybe it's the cutesy-but-in-all-actuality-moronic looks he tries to pull off.
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nickgutierrez
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:55 PM
Response to Reply #26 |
71. Yeah. Rapping animals = bad. |
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That's one of those things that's never not true.
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Rabrrrrrr
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:46 AM
Response to Original message |
27. Tom Cruise is in it or Celine did the soundtrack |
Rabrrrrrr
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:47 AM
Response to Original message |
29. it's directed by Ron "No Artistic Vision" Howard |
ET Awful
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:58 AM
Response to Reply #29 |
32. Aww, come on, he's had a few good ones :) |
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A Beautiful Mind Apollo 13 Parenthood Willow
Hell, even Cocoon and Splash while not "good" movies, have their moments :)
Yeah, most of his stuff sucks, but there have been a few good ones from little Opie Cunningham :)
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Rabrrrrrr
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:23 AM
Response to Reply #32 |
37. I didn't see Apollo 13, but the rest of those sucked |
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I was disappointed greatly by each and every one of them. And "A Beautiful Mind" I didn't even know was directed by him until my friend and I were watching the credits because we both said, at the end, "Who directed this POS?"
Parenthood - I also thought it was drek, and I wasn't even conscious of it being a Ron Howard movie.
Willow - just kinda bad and uninspired, like everything Howard does.
I'm actually afraid to see Apollo 13, because the space program is so near and dear to me that I fear being offended by the movie and dashing all my romantic notions about space exploration.
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ET Awful
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:05 AM
Response to Reply #37 |
45. Bah, you're just an elitist snob :) n/t |
Rabrrrrrr
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Thu Jan-13-05 06:56 PM
Response to Reply #45 |
62. Maybe. But I'm a *correct* elitist snob |
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:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
:hi: ET Awful!
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DS1
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:59 AM
Response to Original message |
33. There's one "tell" that's infalliable. If HBO has a sneak-peek 20 minute |
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show dedicated to an upcoming movie, it is guaranteed to SUCK :7
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ProfessorGAC
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:37 AM
Response to Reply #33 |
44. Boy, That's A Good One |
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I'd have never thought of that, but when i read your post, i immediately thought "Yeah, that's right!" Almost a kiss of death, isn't it? The Professor
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Richardo
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:08 AM
Response to Original message |
35. "Produced by Dino Delaurentiis" |
XNASA
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:08 AM
Response to Original message |
36. My folks say..."We saw the best movie the other day!" |
stanwyck
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Thu Jan-13-05 07:41 PM
Response to Reply #36 |
67. not my folks but a couple of my friends |
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there are some folks I really like who have just the worst taste in movies. Like "Patch Adams" kind of bad. Then, there are people who I really don't like that much...but they do give me terrific tips on movie rentals. Hard to figure.
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kick-ass-bob
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:24 AM
Response to Original message |
38. "Alf" is in the title. |
NightTrain
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:27 AM
Response to Original message |
39. "Directed by William Shatner." |
SPQR
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:34 AM
Response to Original message |
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"From the producer of....." Yep, we always check who the producer is before picking our movies, it's really your only guide to quality.
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fishwax
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:35 AM
Response to Original message |
43. It comes out on or shortly before Memorial Day weekend |
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Okay, that may be painting with too broad a brush, but most of those summer blockbusters suck.
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Aristus
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:09 AM
Response to Original message |
46. When the trailer narration begins with a stentorian: |
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"COMING THIS SUMMER.....!"
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BulletproofLandshark
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:15 AM
Response to Original message |
48. When the commercials for it are prefaced by... |
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"A Sci-Fi Channel premiere"
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Dora
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:17 AM
Response to Original message |
49. it's a Scorsese flick. |
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I unapologetically think that Scorsese sucks. No amount of argument will convince me otherwise.
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sundog
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:19 AM
Response to Original message |
51. It's called "De-Lovely" |
CatBoreal
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:35 AM
Response to Original message |
54. Two more words : Uwe Boll |
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as in directed by....*shudder*
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NewJeffCT
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:48 AM
Response to Original message |
55. Starring Ronald Reagan... |
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Anything associated with the following folks:
Joel Schumacher Anything produced by Joel Silver in the past 15 years, except the original Matrix (back in the 80s, Silver had some good action movies¡ Lethal Weapon, Die Hard
Michael Bay, as stated by somebody else above.
Steven Seagal Jean Claude Van Damme Sylvester Stallone George Lucas in the past 20 years And, of course, anything starring Ronald Reagan
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mcscajun
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:54 AM
Response to Original message |
56. It's "A TNT Original" |
Bertha Venation
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:55 AM
Response to Original message |
57. You hear the title spoken in the first ten minutes of dialogue. |
rhino47
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:57 AM
Response to Original message |
58. Directed by Mel Gibson |
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I had the misfortune to veiw part of the passion (at my mother in laws) I must say it angered me to the core.First off as a christain I sickened seeing the corporate jesus pornographically violent slasher flick. It was obscene.Even my right wing nut mother in law agreed with me.(truth be told I couldnt take more then 5 mins of the blood bath)
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mcscajun
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Thu Jan-13-05 10:57 AM
Response to Original message |
59. Ads for the film include one and two-word quotes from the reviews. |
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Edited on Thu Jan-13-05 11:00 AM by mcscajun
Because they cannot use those flattering words in context.
"Spectacular" -- "This film is a spectacular example of poor direction."
"Stunning" -- "(actor name)'s performance is a stunning failure."
"A tour de force" -- "(Director name)'s previous film, a veritable tour de force, makes this new effort all the more disappointing."
Moviegoer Alert: Films expected to get good reviews and do well at the box office open on WEDNESDAY; films expected to get a poor reception open on Friday, in order to get at least one good weekend's box office before word of mouth kills the film.
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Connie_Corleone
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Thu Jan-13-05 11:00 AM
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noonwitch
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Thu Jan-13-05 11:02 AM
Response to Original message |
61. Directed by Kevin Costner |
Worst Username Ever
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Thu Jan-13-05 06:59 PM
Response to Original message |
63. Pretty much anything rated PG-13 |
Lydia Leftcoast
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Thu Jan-13-05 07:28 PM
Response to Original message |
64. When the trailer consists of nothing but special effects or |
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tells the whole story, including the ending.
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stanwyck
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Thu Jan-13-05 07:36 PM
Response to Original message |
65. Someone runs through an airport |
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to demonstrate how they've grown so much as a person that they now, finally, care. And they've just got to get there before their beloved leaves forever. The running through the airport is the flop sweat of screenplays.
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Arkana
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Thu Jan-13-05 07:38 PM
Response to Original message |
66. ...it shows up on UPN two days before the release. |
Bok_Tukalo
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:07 PM
Response to Original message |
68. When you hear the line "The Dr. says she can't have children" |
Guy Fawkes
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:10 PM
Response to Original message |
69. nobody cares enough to pirate it.... |
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Or when the actors try to have it legaly blocked from showing (Pluto Nash).
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nytemare
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Thu Jan-13-05 08:20 PM
Response to Original message |
70. Direct to DVD!!! Starring Steven Seagal!! |
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He had his time in the late 80's and early 90's...now is not his time.
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DrWeird
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:02 PM
Response to Original message |
72. If it's based on a video game. |
Hans Delbrook
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:12 PM
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73. When it's advertised as the "Feel Good Movie" |
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...of the summer, the season etc. Shudder.
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sakabatou
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Thu Jan-13-05 09:13 PM
Response to Original message |
74. The movie only comes dubbed. |
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Thu Apr 18th 2024, 06:13 AM
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