Wish this was true

[LordshipLadyship]

Got this from a member of one of my mailing lists. Hope it isn't a duplicate. I love the part about God being excited about it. Substitute in your own mind Goddess/Entity/or nothing if you don't believe, just enjoy the humor. I'm a California native, btw, and Barbara lee and Barbara Boxer are MINE, nyah nyah nyah (chuckle)
Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually,
we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving. California
will
now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In
case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
Minnesota,
Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the Northeast.

We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to
almost
everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In fact,
God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole country at
4:30pm
EST Jan 19. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in
their states by then. So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We
get the Governator, stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Eliot
Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. (Okay, we have to keep Martha Stewart, we can
live
with that.) We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Opryland. We get Intel
and
Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard, you get Ole Miss. We get 85%
of
America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all of the
technological innovation in Alabama. We get about two-thirds of the tax
revenue, and you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since
our
divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian coalitions, we get a bunch of
happy families. You get a bunch of single moms to support, and we know how
much you like that.

Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nations veggies? But heck, the
only greens the Bible thumpers eat are the pickles on their Big Macs. Oh,
yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving California wine at your state
dinners. From now on its imported French wine for you. Ouch, bet that
hurts.

Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice and
anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to want all Blue States citizens
back
from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask your evangelicals. They
have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely
no
purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids'
caskets coming home.

Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope,
really
hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.

Sincerely,

California

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

1. Love it!!!

[Bronco69]

2. That's great!

:-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. This is so wonderful! It was posted a while ago, but worth the revisit

Though I suggest you get your asbestos suit on, because some high-strung uber-touchy red state dems are gonna come (unfairly) flaming you for this with their "Not everyone in a red state is a redneck freeper, how could you be so hurtful, all you're doing is further dividing the nation, why are you giving ammunition to the average joes in the red states to continue to hate the democratic party, blah blah blah fucking blah" mantra.

But me, I think it's funny.

[Bouncy Ball]

5. I'm in a red state

and it made me smile.

Hey I say as long as that plan comes with a Red State Liberal Family Relocation Program, I'm okey dokey with it!

Who wants to sponsor a nice liberal family of three to relocate to a blue state?

LOL!

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. Yes, there must be amnesty for all registered dems to leave the red states

and enter the new, good country with open arms!

because nice thing is, what income and taxes and industry the red states DO provide, is likely brought mostly by the educated democrats. So we not only take away the good states, we take away all the good people in the bad states, leaving the red states especially screwed.

Heh heh.

[Bouncy Ball]

10. YAY!!!

I'm highly educated!!! And my husband, while not highly educated, is highly knowledgeable and a VERY good person. He works his ass off and would give the shirt off his back to someone who needed it.

And we're raising a SOLID liberal kid!

[Hans Delbrook]

18. You made me laugh

with the Red State Liberal Family Relocation Program so I'll happily sponsor your family when the time comes. ;)

[Bouncy Ball]

19. YAY!!!

I love all these great Blue State Liberals! You guys ROCK!

(Really, please, get us out of here, it's like a living hell, oh my gosh, someone is walking over here right now, probably to.....ACK.......!!!!!)





;-)

[Hans Delbrook]

22. LOL (again!) nt

[LordshipLadyship]

8. a thought

Boxing (pun not intended) all freepers in is no different from boxing all of us in. I'm a democrat, I acknowledge that not all people are alike, and I generally honor the differences. Up to a point. This isn't meant (in my imagination, anyway) to shun anyone in those states. I accept them, hell, I DEPEND on them! It's a generalization meant to be funny and uplifting to my mind.
Do you know the origin?

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. No, no idea where it's from

When it was posted here before it wasn't attributed, either, if memory serves.

[Texasgal]

12. Niiiiice...

Thanks for the ridiculous statement that ofcourse applies to all of us red-staters.

Signed,

High-strung-uber-red-state-redneck

:eyes:

[Rabrrrrrr]

13. Oh, cool, I got the reaction I predicted, but from the OPPOSITE direction

What is it with the touchy people that they can't read?

Did I call ALL red state dems to be uber-touchy, etc.?

No, I didn't. Not at all.

I said SOME.

Read the posts next time, and try to read 'em without your heart and your knee blocking out the words that you wish weren't there.

[Texasgal]

15. Yeah...

I'll try and do that next time... thanks for the heads up there.

[LordshipLadyship]

16. Niiiiice

I didn't post it with the intention of exclusion, it's clearly biased toward California. Thank (blank) you exist out there, we count on you and we're grateful. Or maybe it's safer to speak for myself, I certainly am grateful for you, and it's a hell of a lot harder believing what you believe, and being where you are. Takes courage.

[Texasgal]

17. No, dosen't take much courage at all

I live in a VERY blue county. No courage needed here.

Thank you for being grateful to us folks in red-states, it gets pretty old having to defend your state, your HOME, the place YOU LOVE, to a bunch of people who don't have a clue.

[LordshipLadyship]

4. Wish this was true

I should add I don't know the author, I believe it's just one of those things circulating on the internets. If that changes, I'll post credit and origin for it :)

[rwenos]

6. Bear Flag Republic

I finally figgered out a few years ago that Lincoln was WRONG to try to save the Union. Let the buggers go! Let Texas be a buffer state between the Confederacy and Mexico.

I think California can join in a confederation with Oregon, Washington, British Columbia, Hawaii and the Yukon Territory. Perhaps we can call it "Westland." Or maybe "America." We can ally ourselves with SvenskAmerica (Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Iowa, Michigan) and New Angleterre (PA, NY, VT, NH, NY, Maine, CT, RI, MA, NJ,DE. Maryland and D.C.)

Sounds GOOOOOOD.

[LordshipLadyship]

11. I'll bring any Dems-Progressives-what have you

in from the red states..but you have to sign a loyalty oath ;)

[rwenos]

14. Come on Down!

We got plenty of room, even in California. (Driven from San Bernardino to Lone Pine lately, or from Susanville to the Oregon border?)

Actually, there are plenty of RW crazies in Cali too. We call them "Dustbowl Descendants." Prior generations called them "Okies."

[Bouncy Ball]

20. Nope

I ain't signing any loyalty oath, just check my voting record. Not a single vote for a repuke EVER on it. EVER.

Dems, Greens, independents, yep. No repukes. And the Greens and independents only when there was no Dem running!!!

In races where a repuke runs alone, I don't vote in that race because I refuse to cast a vote for one of those slime suckers.

[China_cat]

21. Let them have California wine.

As it's own country, California will gain in the form of import duties charged to the Red states.