Is the term "boyfriend" silly when you're both adults?

[eyesroll]

I've recently re-entered the dating world, and because I'm a giant nerd, it got me thinking about semantics.

I've determined I do not have a problem at all with being called someone's "girlfriend." However, I really don't want to call anyone my "boyfriend." I don't know if I'm just weird, or what, but it doesn't sound right to me. (I have yet to find an alternative that doesn't sound tawdry or overly euphemistic, though.)

I should add -- this only applies to me. I don't care if other people call their SOs their boyfriends.

What are your thoughts?

[BurtWorm]

1. How you doin', girlfriend?

I dunno, rightly. I'll get back to you.

[amazona]

2. boyfriend is fine

It certainly sounds more youthful and fun than husband. At the casino, I've met 80 year olds with their new boyfriends. It is cute.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[Maat]

3. For people that have been together for a long time,

I wish we could think about better terms. I don't know - 'partner' I like better.

I voted I disliked both of them.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

5. "Partner" sounds really cold to me.

But that's just me.

[Maat]

16. Well, I honor you view, and humbly disagree.

When I call my hubby my partner, that's the greatest. We have worked for 20+ years to build the Ma'at Family dynasty, so-to-speak, loving each other all the way. We've been mates, best friends, and build up money enough for a home and a savings, and been raising a young'un. We're on a mission, and we're committed (or need to be committed, or maybe both).

You know it is with humans, it's all subject to interpretation. We all have our own way of seeing things.

Let's see if we can get a consensus here.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

18. I respect your view as well.

When I think of partners, i think of a business deal, personally. And when I think of business, I think of cold, harsh dealings with little or no true attachment.

I'd like to think of my fiancee as more than just a partner. She's every bit a part of me as any actual part of my body. She's someone I would not dream of functioning without.

But again, that's just how I've viewed the term itself. It's all semantics and we each bring our own perspective to the table. If it works for you, it works!

[eoberhauser]

29. I have this problem!

I have been with my "boyfriend" for 7 years. We work together, live together, play together. Boyfriend totally doesn't say what he is to me! It sounds so trivial. "Partner" makes me sound like a lesbian, and fiancee is SO rediculous sounding! Sometimes I just call him Tim. If you're in casual conversation you could say "my other half". That's what it feels like!

Erin

[Pithlet]

43. I had this problem

My husband and I lived together for a few years before getting married. We even had a kid together. "Boyfriend" just didn't seem right, particularly after we had our first child, and I also hate the word "fiancee".

[Maat]

50. Yep.

Mr. Ma'at and I were together for about seven years or so, before we got married. Been married for 20 years (so, about 27-28 years total - relationships can last a long time!). Now, we've been together so long, we're like Dharma's parents in that T.V. show - we wouldn't know what to do if we were separated. I can't even hide a thought - I start to say something, shut up, and he finishes the sentence for me!

So, I know what you mean.

'Other half' is good.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

4. Well, what the hell else would you call him?

That's the problem.

[eyesroll]

11. Indeed.

Every alternative either sounds overly, um, lock-bait-ish? (boy toy) or like I'm trying to hide something (gentleman friend, for instance, sounds like he paid me or something). And since I am involved a bit in a new relationship, it's not like I want to use a term that would suggest anything permanent at this point (i.e. partner, and that also might suggest to some people that the other party is also a woman, which, well, he's not).

[tigereye]

21. how about " the guy I'm dating"

it isn't very elegant, but descriptive. There is probably a great term in some other language. Now you have made me curious about these terms as well. Although the "boy-toy" one is kind of funny, if not very pc.

;)

[eyesroll]

26. "The guy I'm dating/seeing" does work well in some situations.

It is accurate, at least.

(Ask Hedges sometime how he described me to his best friend, when we were in college. But ask him elsewhere -- I don't want this deleted. :eyes:)

[Magrittes Pipe]

28. Described?

It's how I INTRODUCED you! :D

[tigereye]

30. well I am glad you are out there in the dating scene

( do people really "date" anymore- well that's another discussion) I am really out of touch as to how things work these days.

[tk2kewl]

6. You don't have a choice for acceptance of both terms

using anything else sounds like PC-elitist crap as far as I am concerned. Nothing wrong with boyfriend or girlfriend

[StopTheMorans]

7. I guess you could say "manfriend"

:shrug:

[Connie_Corleone]

8. saying "my boyfriend" sounds like I'm back in high school.

I can't find an alternative either. I pretty much use "my man".

[Beware the Beast Man]

9. You should call him your "beau," and sound really old-fashioned.

Or better yet, how about calling him "your old man"? Then you'd sound like a biker mama and the two of you can run off to Sturgis together. :bounce:

[Magrittes Pipe]

10. I think "X" would suffice.

:evilgrin:

[eyesroll]

12. Grr.

:spank:

[Magrittes Pipe]

13. You opened a door.

You can't expect me not to walk through it. ;)

[Beware the Beast Man]

14. Not as silly as Hercules.

:evilgrin:

[NewJeffCT]

24. oh god, I spit up my water when I read that

too funny.

[Wickerman]

15. I had the same problem; felt stupid calling a 40 yr old my "girlfriend"

so, we got married. Not sure she enjoys being Mrs. Wickerman, but, what the heck :shrug:, beats being a girlfriend.

[Siyahamba]

20. For those who can get married, that's a great solution

But not all of us have that option.

[Wickerman]

23. Understood

:hi:

[ET Awful]

17. I don't have a problem with it at all. n/t

[Feathered Fish]

19. My special friend

:)
Just kidding. If you're really stuck, use partner. I don't think it's cold at all. The only problem with that title that I encounter is that people automatically assume you are in a same-sex relationship. It obviously doesn't offend me, but it is very presumptuous on the part of the listener. Ahhh, the joy of labels.

[blueknight]

22. how about

my sex partner:shrug: lol

[Anarcho-Socialist]

25. lol n/t

[legally blonde]

40. LOL

My dad and some of my older relatives refer to my boyfriend as my "special friend."

edit: grammar mistake

[peacebird]

27. what's wrong with simply calling them your friend

would you be with them at all without friendship?

or introduce them as your "date", if you want need to make clear that he/she is unavailable....

[La Lioness Priyanka]

31. i like partner...for either gender

reason bf sounds weirder than gf, is that women are already used to being called girls whereas grown men are almost never reffered to as boys.

[arcane1]

33. almost never

:P

[La Lioness Priyanka]

34. well i refer to men and women

as boys and girls :silly:

[arcane1]

35. I've noticed

it seems normal when you do it, though :silly:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

36. normalcy is over rated

rather not be sexist than be normal

[arcane1]

37. normal is also relative

:)

[Butterflies]

49. except when they're going "out with the boys"

just like a group of women being referred to as "girls" sounds fun. I do "girls' night out" with a bunch of coworkers sometimes, and it's all about having fun and acting like carefree teenagers.

[fishnfla]

32. A guy at any moment can be a man, and then a boy the next

Men are just tall boy-childs

[prolesunited]

38. Why not try

lover? But, you have to say it like "luvuh" or it just doesn't work. ;-)

[Schema Thing]

39. "Man" is much better

Well, at least I thought it sounded cool when my Parisian/Martinique girlfriend would call me that.

Coming from an American woman, I think "boyfriend" would give me pause ("man" would creep me out, unless it was used very playfully) everytime I heard it, though I guess it's hypocritical, as I have always called the women I've dated my "girlfriend". I admit the use of "girlfriend" has felt more forced when the girlfriend was 37 or 40, vs those who were young to middle 20's.

Of course, when you're really serious as a couple, any guy would be honored to be "my old man".

[Donkeyboy75]

41. Boyfriend is appropriate for you

considering you're dating a 13 year old. <ducks>

[bmbmd]

42. He... vas....my....BOYFRIEND!!!!

Cloris Leachman to Gene Wilder in "Young Frankenstein". One of my favorite lines.

[WMliberal]

44. ha, as opposed to manfriend and womanfriend?

Manfriend and womanfriend sound a little Tolkeinish or Trekky to me.

[terrya]

45. Not silly at all.

Doug is my boyfriend. I'm Doug's boyfriend.

We're no spring chickens, that's for sure. It's no big deal.

T

[eyesroll]

47. See...and it works for you guys.

I have issues with words sometimes. :shrug:

[Dora]

46. Our alternative wasn't much better

Both my husband and I would use the term "sweetie" when introducing each other.

It worked for us, and he still calls me his sweetie when introducing me sometimes, as in "I'd like you to meet my wife and sweetie..."

Gosh I love him.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

48. Ever since age thirty, I have used the terms

"gentleman friend" and "lady friend." :-)

[SarahB]

51. I don't know.

I think just after being married for awhile, to have a significant other where you're saying boyfriend or girlfriend feels weird because you're so used to saying husband or wife in terms of introducing a partner. It's hard to say though. I guess for me I'll have to see what feels right when I'm in the situation. :shrug: