I found Jesus!

[Sannum]

He was at Starbucks getting a Chai Tea Latte:7

[maxpower]

1. I wasn't aware he was missing.

[jdonaldball]

2. So THAT explains the empty tomb!

[Magrittes Pipe]

3. Give him back, please.

He slipped out of his chains while I was beating him a couple of weeks ago. And his name is TOBY, goddamn it!

[jedicord]

4. So this drunk walked out of a bar and ran into 2 priests.

He said to the first priest "I am Jesus Christ". The priest said, "I'm afraid you're not, son." Then he said to the second priest "I am Jesus Christ". The priest said "I'm afraid you're not, son."

The drunk says "Oh yeah? Come with me and I'll prove it!" So the priests follow him back into the bar and the bartender says:

"Jesus Christ! You're back in here AGAIN?"

Ta da dum.

[Midlodemocrat]

13. LOL. Very funny.

[B Calm]

14. I like it..

[Kire]

5. He was behind the sofa the whole time.

I have a button that says that.

[B Calm]

6. I couldhave sworn I seen him driving a JB Hunt Truck, he even

had a cross on the grill..

[DinahMoeHum]

7. He borrowed my pick-up truck - at gunpoint

ala Texas cowboy singer-songwriter Terry Allen

Link:
http://www.virtualubbock.com/lyrTABloodlines.html#anchor2GimmeARide

(snip)
Gimme a Ride to Heaven Boy

Well I was caught up with myself
On the highway at night
Drivin like a bat outta hell
When I beheld an amazing sight
It was a lonely apparition
By the roadside standing there
With his thumb out in the wilderness
And a halo in his hair

Chorus:
He said "Gimme a ride to heaven boy
I'll Show you paradise
Yeah gimme a ride to heaven boy
My name is Jesus Christ"
So I come screeching to a halt
I said "Hop on in"
He sais "thanks a lot for the lift
I forgive you of your sins
Yeah I just come from Jerusalem
Where things are going bad
Ahhh gimme a ride to heaven boy
I need to talk to my dad"

(Chorus)

Well I didn't know what to do
So I jammed her down in gear
Kind a kicked my feet beneath the seat
I was trying to hide the beer
Ahhh but he just grinned and said "My friend,
I know you must think it's odd
But you got nothin to fear about drinkin a beer
If you share it with the son of God"

(Chorus)

Well I saw good news in his baby blues
So I stomped it on the floor
I said you have to show me how to get there
I ain't been before
"Well it’s a hard place to find" he said
"But I'll give you a little clue
It ain't somewhere up in the air
Its sittin right here inside with you"
Then right in the middle of that perfect smile
From his robes he pulled a gun
An stuck it up beside my head and said
"How's this for Kingdom Come?"
Well I pulled off scared but I heard him say
As he left me beneath the stars
"The Lord moves in mysterious ways
and tonight, my son ... He’s gonna use your car"
(Chorus repeats)
(snip)


:evilgrin:

[Q3JR4]

12. ROTFL!

That song kicks ass!

[no name no slogan]

8. Tell him he owes me a dropkick thru the goalpost of life (nt)

[Pacifist Patriot]

9. Hate to disappoint you, but that was my uncle.

He dresses like that on Fridays. Besides, everyone knows that Jesus prefers a good Caffe Americano. ;)

[dr.strangelove]

10. Yeah, like the son of man would drink Chai.

Everyone knows he is into the Columbian dark roast, none of that Chai shit for god.

[Beer Snob-50]

11. he wouldn't go to starbucks

he would just turn on the faucet and chai tea latte would come out.

[Q3JR4]

15. Great! If no one claims him in three days he's yours. n/t

[BikeWriter]

16. Hey, way cool!

;)

[jandrok]

17. Congratulations! See what you can get for him on eBay....

...let us know how it turns out.

[Allenberg]

18. Just when I thought

He was playing CF for your 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox. :shrug: