Rabrrrrrr
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:20 PM
Original message |
Create a novel's first sentence that will definitely keep people reading |
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Here's mine:
"If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have ended up in steerage with three Canadian Mounties on my way to Saigon to pull anal beeds out of Buckminster Fuller for three months."
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saltpoint
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:22 PM
Response to Original message |
1. "Now, Dubya, damn it all. How many times do I have to -- |
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-- tell you that ain't what the pool drain's for?"
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Floogeldy
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:23 PM
Response to Original message |
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Out of the darkness a hobo exclaims, "I am entitled to my fears. What is the color when red is burned, you damn dirty ape?"
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ccinamon
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:27 PM
Response to Original message |
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The quiet, dark night had a distinctive creepy feeling as I doggedly climbed the stairs to my second floor apartment.
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Reverend_Smitty
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:27 PM
Response to Original message |
4. She awoke from her slumber all wet and sticky... |
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it was then that Jessica decided that it wasn't a very good idea to fall asleep in a kiddie pool full of jell-o
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RevolutionaryActs
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:30 PM
Response to Original message |
5. I wrote a book last fall, this is the first sentence, tell me if its good: |
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"By a brook in a forest just outside the city of Avenmoore, sits a girl throwing stones at the far shore."
Um.. it gets better after that I promise...... x(
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saltpoint
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:32 PM
Response to Reply #5 |
7. Hell, Rev_Acts -- it's pretty good right now. |
RevolutionaryActs
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:33 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
9. Aww thank you! You made my night! |
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Edited on Fri Jan-14-05 11:33 PM by Revolutionary_Acts04
:7
I worked so much on my book, and I really hard on it, so its nice when people say they like something about it. :)
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saltpoint
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:40 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
14. I feel you gave me the picture, the image -- |
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-- to read on, and even more, to invest in the young woman right away.
Also I like the phonetic variety and the feeling of being windswept into a place of more possibilities.
I'm serious -- nice work.
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RevolutionaryActs
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:45 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
21. Holy cow, I'm going to blush if you're serious.... |
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and then I'm going to hug and kiss you, because you are way too sweet!
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pres2032
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:31 PM
Response to Original message |
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"Some things are taken, some are earned, but every so often a gift is given which changes a life in that shove it down your throat with a bright beam of light in your eyes kind of way.
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BlueJazz
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:32 PM
Response to Original message |
8. "As He slowed down the Time Machine, He couldn't believe..." |
Bok_Tukalo
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:47 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
23. ... people still built the superfluous fireplace into their homes |
BlueJazz
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Sun Jan-16-05 12:15 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
57. ...And George W Bush the 4th was President.. AAGGGGHH!! |
Mabus
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:33 PM
Response to Original message |
10. Bill realized he had come a long way, |
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Edited on Fri Jan-14-05 11:34 PM by Mabus
from that scrawny little rich kid outside of Levittown to a grown man with a pet loofah.
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HeyManThatsCool
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:36 PM
Response to Reply #10 |
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Well... loofah or falaffel
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blondeatlast
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Sat Jan-15-05 02:39 PM
Response to Reply #10 |
47. LOL! The unfictionalized fiction of Bill O'Reilly. |
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Now for real laughs, read "Those Who Trespass," his utterly wretched novel. Think of the awful, icky soft-core porn written by a Heritage Foundation collective and you've got it.
I was dared to read the first chapter by another library assistant where I work, and I managed. She bought me dinner.
But my literary experience is forever changed, and NOT for the better.
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Mabus
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Sat Jan-15-05 03:39 PM
Response to Reply #47 |
50. Well I was trying to mimic his style |
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overly dramatic, poorly written and based (sometimes very) loosely on reality.
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WCGreen
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:35 PM
Response to Original message |
11. "You know, I write those letter, the forum really, the one's in Penthouse" |
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she Laughed and then, pausing to look me up and down, stuck her bottom lip out just so. I knew tonight was going to be a whole lot different than I expected.
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kodi
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:36 PM
Response to Original message |
13. it wasn't really fresh meat, but it sure beat eating his other foot |
Rick Myers
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:40 PM
Response to Original message |
15. The sky was the color of a tv, tuned to a dead channel. |
roguevalley
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:41 PM
Response to Original message |
16. The red stain of his blood, glistening in pools at my feet reflected |
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the surly scowl on my face, a face that had seen it all and had secrets. Many many secrets. (Two sentences. No anal beads)
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stpalm
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:42 PM
Response to Original message |
17. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. |
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Wait, people will fall asleep four pages into that! (like I did) dont use that one.
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Tom Yossarian Joad
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:42 PM
Response to Original message |
18. She slid into the room like a salamander in heat. |
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You're dealing with a Bulwar-Lyton award winner here. I do bad good!
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KittyWampus
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Sun Jan-16-05 12:08 PM
Response to Reply #18 |
56. Shouldn't That Be 'Salamander INTO Heat'? And Your Opening Line |
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warrants a follow-up.
:thumbsup:
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RagingInMiami
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:43 PM
Response to Original message |
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Edited on Fri Jan-14-05 11:44 PM by RagingInMiami
"Your job is to put some truth in that urban legend by whacking the first person you see driving with their lights off," Mario told Jose as he handed him a loaded uzi.
EDIT: Typo
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sat Jan-15-05 11:19 AM
Response to Reply #19 |
29. If the rest of the novel is about one man's jihad against AOL assholes |
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and other dickwads who forward urban legend emails as though they're gospel truth and who live in fear that some day someone's gonna turn the headlights off and steal their kidneys while the gov. charges them a nickel for every email they've sent, then I'm gonna read it for sure!
That's the kind of utter bloodbath I could get into.
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Bok_Tukalo
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:44 PM
Response to Original message |
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Doug was irritated that after seven hundred years of cleverly evading the constabulary, a freelance with a new hobby would find his sig in a second tier brothel outside Oort City West.
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sat Jan-15-05 11:15 AM
Response to Reply #20 |
28. LOL! I'd read that one, for sure! |
LordshipLadyship
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Fri Jan-14-05 11:46 PM
Response to Original message |
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for what I did to them, clothed only with my own shame?
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mikehiggins
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Sat Jan-15-05 12:14 AM
Response to Original message |
24. Nothing is so sad, really, than stumbling across a dead child. |
Taverner
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Sat Jan-15-05 12:15 AM
Response to Original message |
25. "Ohfuckohfuckohfuck!" |
Little Wing
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Sat Jan-15-05 12:17 AM
Response to Original message |
26. The broken hasp caused her dress to fall to the floor. |
NightTrain
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Sat Jan-15-05 12:18 AM
Response to Original message |
27. Six weeks ago, I killed someone. |
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That's the first sentence of DEADWAX, my murder mystery set in the record-collecting world.
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nuxvomica
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Sat Jan-15-05 11:47 AM
Response to Original message |
30. "The abandoned car, the laughing man, the rain of toads -- |
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Edited on Sat Jan-15-05 11:50 AM by nuxvomica
it all made sense to her now and she wept as she recalled the tiny white envelope left in her mailbox only a week earlier."
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Left Is Write
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Sat Jan-15-05 11:52 AM
Response to Original message |
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"Artie stood on the sidewalk in front of the seedy-looking flophouse, its red neon sign proudly proclaiming it the Hotel Bagnio."
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TheCentepedeShoes
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Sat Jan-15-05 11:55 AM
Response to Original message |
32. "Pops Bunnypants stepped through |
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the wide front door of his stone ranch house, propped a booted foot on the aspen-log porch railing, and gazed out over the verdant Amerigo Valley."
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DS1
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Sat Jan-15-05 12:00 PM
Response to Original message |
33. The Deliverator belongs to an elite order, a hallowed subcategory. |
neweurope
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Sat Jan-15-05 12:05 PM
Response to Original message |
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Edited on Sat Jan-15-05 12:59 PM by neweurope
------------------------
Bush to The Hague!
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sat Jan-15-05 01:14 PM
Response to Reply #34 |
35. Ah, that's too bad you deleted it. |
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I liked it!
But I can understand your want to delete it.
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neweurope
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Sat Jan-15-05 01:18 PM
Response to Reply #35 |
36. Thanks :) I liked it myself and I have no qualms. |
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I just thought some of you might have, and since I'm a guest here...
:hi:
---------------------------
Remember Fallujah
Bush to The Hague!
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More Than A Feeling
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Sat Jan-15-05 01:27 PM
Response to Original message |
37. The man who planned the Kennedy assassination strolled |
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up behind me and put a gun to my head.
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HEyHEY
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Sat Jan-15-05 01:30 PM
Response to Original message |
38. She took of her pants and said, "Come and do me." |
RetroLounge
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Sat Jan-15-05 01:49 PM
Response to Original message |
39. Here's a few of mine, from Short Stories. |
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One of which was published.
"The first time that it came over me, I was walking South on Michigan Avenue, which is not in itself unusual except for the fact that I had just come from a particularly stressful lunchtime session with my therapist — the fifty minute miracle, I call it — and should have been walking North, back to work, but like I said, I was walking South"
"He was tired of moving, yet here he was doing it again"
"Alex climbed the semi-winding staircase, the oak railing stained with the dark oils of a thousand human hands pulling him upward, the well-worn boards straining beneath his feet emitted a faint creaking sound, more like a moan that rose up to his ears in an ominous, warning tone, slightly musical, yet dissonant, the pungent smell of sandalwood incense mixed with her own vanilla and sweet almond oil perfumes wafting into and around his nostrils."
RL
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Tom_Foolery
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Sun Jan-16-05 02:28 PM
Response to Reply #39 |
59. I like all three, but I REALLY like the last one. n/t |
Orsino
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Sat Jan-15-05 01:55 PM
Response to Original message |
40. "Somewhere in this book is the location of buried treasure." n/t |
Schema Thing
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Sat Jan-15-05 02:01 PM
Response to Original message |
41. It was a stark and dormy night, and the coeds were taking the "stark" part |
OldLeftieLawyer
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Sat Jan-15-05 02:03 PM
Response to Original message |
42. "I can't get it out." |
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I've tried three different times to get that opening line past my agent and my publisher, and so far, they've thrown it back at me every time.
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fluffernutter
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Sat Jan-15-05 02:11 PM
Response to Original message |
43. His warm arms twitch around me then, and I am awakened; |
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floating down again into my body, into a world where it has become impossible to kneel down and outstretch my arms.
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Spider Jerusalem
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Sat Jan-15-05 02:20 PM
Response to Original message |
44. "I stuck the knife in and twisted the blade... |
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watching the evil bastard's face as it clenched with pain and surprise and then went slack as his blood pumped out in a warm, sticky jet over my hand."
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sat Jan-15-05 02:27 PM
Response to Reply #44 |
45. ..and dripped on the only existing hand-written copy of the Necronimicon, |
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Edited on Sat Jan-15-05 02:28 PM by Rabrrrrrr
in fulfilment of prophecy."
Sorry for adding to your sentence - it was just begging for something a bit eldritch...
:-)
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Mabus
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Sun Jan-16-05 11:23 AM
Response to Reply #45 |
53. That's where it went. |
AngryAmish
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Sat Jan-15-05 02:29 PM
Response to Original message |
46. I'm always suprised what a table leg does to a person's head. |
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BTW, a guy I went to high school with had his father beaten to death with a table leg. It was a mob thing.
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blondeatlast
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Sat Jan-15-05 02:42 PM
Response to Original message |
48. "Dark and warm down there, " Matilda scowled; "and what is with the |
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softly glowing, purring fuzz?"
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Butterflies
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Sat Jan-15-05 02:58 PM
Response to Original message |
49. Even though it was after midnight she pulled off the interstate to |
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use the rest stop ladies room.
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KitchenWitch
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Sat Jan-15-05 03:41 PM
Response to Original message |
51. The woman's body was meticulously posed, like a fashion model. |
Mabus
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Sun Jan-16-05 09:55 AM
Response to Original message |
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hopped up on cheap chardonay and meth, gently rubbed her adam's apple against Hannity's as the two exchanged rumors of Hillary Clinton's sexuality, which always excited the silent Alan who remained in his dark and dank corner pleasuring both himself and Ollie with Ashcroft's leftover crisco oil.
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jan-16-05 02:18 PM
Response to Reply #52 |
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That was frickin' genius!
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Tweed
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Sun Jan-16-05 04:12 PM
Response to Reply #52 |
Mabus
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Sun Jan-16-05 05:31 PM
Response to Reply #62 |
64. But would the two of you read the rest of the book? |
Tweed
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Sun Jan-16-05 11:26 AM
Response to Original message |
54. It was a great day for President Kunicich..... |
name not needed
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Sun Jan-16-05 11:27 AM
Response to Original message |
55. Ashley signaled her desire by removing her... |
Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jan-16-05 02:35 PM
Response to Original message |
60. She was nothing but a cheap whore in her teenage years, the kind that |
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would let a guy do whatever he wanted, facials, cigarette burns, whips, the whole works, for 5 bub and a hit of meth, until she found a patron who straightened her up, sent her to school, and she became Lady Penelope Wilson, wife of the Prime Minister, whom she talked into detonating 16 nuclear warheads in the Vatican, plunging the world into the chaos we've known for the last thirty-five thousand years.
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MisterP
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Sun Jan-16-05 02:44 PM
Response to Original message |
61. I put the headphones down, but a nasty buzz continued to be heard from |
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them, like a large, angry bee. "I hate the O'Reilly tapes too," the man said amiably.
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MrScorpio
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Sun Jan-16-05 04:15 PM
Response to Original message |
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"Just when I restored my faith in mankind, the President of the United States destroyed it with a nuclear holocaust."
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Cooper
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Sun Jan-16-05 05:49 PM
Response to Original message |
65. "Hey boys, watch this . . . " |
DU
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Tue Apr 23rd 2024, 07:09 AM
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