Dear Abby

[RushIsRot]

Dear Abby:

My husband has delusions of grandeur and a long record of money problems. He thinks he's a financial whiz-kid, but he's run a bunch of businesses into the ground, and he runs up huge credit card bills and at the end of the month. If I complain he tells me to relax and believe--it's all under control; all we have to do is pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest. But it's already so bad that we can hardly keep up with the interest payments.

Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more.

Also, he has gotten into religion in a big way, although I don't quite understand it. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Antichrist. And now he has taken to parading around in military uniforms and cowboy boots. I hate to think what it all means. Finally, the last straw: He's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly creepy!

Can you help?

Signed, Lost in DC


Dear Lost:

Stop whining, Laura. You can divorce the s.o.b. any time you want. The rest of us have been stuck with him for the past four years and are now apparently stuck with him for four more years.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. Hahahaha!

Good one

[merwin]

2. I heard that one recently and couldn't stop laughing.

[XanaDUer]

3. I sent this to me one remaining relative who still

talks to me (this is a good thing).

She loved it.

[susanna]

4. I figured it out at the military uniforms w/ cowboy boots...

...but funny in a "sick, sad world" sort of way I guess.

[amerikat]

6. Big old goofy world syndrome

[amerikat]

5. I never thought of JP as Nostradamas,

Your crackin me up.