What do you ladies think of a guy with lots of female friends?

[rockymountaindem]

Does having lots of women friends make a guy more or less appealing as a romantic partner? I ask this because some of my guy friends don't like the fact that I spend a lot of time with women on a friendly basis, and they're always giving me a hard time about it. I try to tell them that women appreciate a guy who knows how to relate to women on more than just a romantic level, but they continue to deride me.

So I look to you, the ladies of DU to arbitrate our dispute. Either I get to rub it in their faces, or I'll just keep the answer to myself ;)

[DebJ]

1. I just married one! He's a middle school teacher. He is great

at expressing emotion and talking. And not effeminate at all.

[tjdee]

2. I'd worry that all the girls are secretly into him.

And I'd also worry that he will one day get drunk/willingly go there.

I'm not ultra secure with the ability of men to keep it in their pants.

One guy I knew like this, he liked to be flirty and in a way I thought he was kind of keeping the girls for spares if he wanted (I didn't like this guy, he was actually a friend of a boyfriend at the time).

However, it does make the guy look like he "gets" it, so much so that other women find him worthy to hang with. And it really depends on the guy.

So yes and no to your question.
Oh, and your guy friends are JEALOUS. That's what that's about. They wish they could get a chick to tell them secrets, etc.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

3. If a man has lots of women friends, it tells me that he

respects women as complete, 3-dimensional human beings and isn't hung up on all that macho crap. That's a good thing!

On Edit: I just saw tjdee's post, and I agree that a guy who has a whole harem of lovers or is stringing along a whole crowd of women to whom he is sending "maybe" signals, that's bad. However, one who has a lot of platonic female friends is desirable.

[supernova]

14. I agree with Lydia

I think a guy who has female friends is someone who is easy to get along with and can relate on multiple levels.

BTW, I am old enough to know now the difference between a guy keeping a potential harem and one who is just kind to women. :-)

[bettyellen]

4. ha.....i just saw this and asked my three buddies here all men- what

it says about me.
i have fewer illusions about what men are like -- hey thanks- i think.
i'm more fun than your average gal! ooohh, i have less delusions. people assume i'm a player... they do? wait a minute...
i'm on to their shit but just love them anyway. .. i do hear a lot of confessions, and make a few myself...
well these guys are very cool with it. and two of them are taken.
the other one .... never mind, he'll kill me.
does that help? i should turn this thing off. but someone here is ehem, facinated.

[tjdee]

5. For a long time I had more male close friends than females...

which is funny today considering how, like you said, I have fewer illusions about men (but not in the way they like LOL).

I always felt pretty flattered. Now ALL my guys are involved/getting married. :( I felt like I knew all the good ones!

[SW FL Dem]

6. I think it is a good attribute

One of my hubby's best friend was one of my bridesmaids even though I had only met her twice before.

[Hans Delbrook]

7. I think it's great!

To me it says you can view a woman as more than a sexual target. I have a lot of men friends and their partners are all cool w/ it. And they're all better for the friendship :D (so am I :D)

[rockymountaindem]

8. Kick

[DS1]

9. I hope not poorly, because my friends are almost exclusively women

:shrug:

[onebigbadwulf]

10. He's either 1. gay or 2. desperate

case closed.

Normal straight guys don't have friends that are girls.

[retread]

12. Perfect example of my post in #11.

*

[retread]

11. As I got older and grew a little more mature in my outlook, I found

I preferred the company of women to men. I dislike the territorial marking and growling and sniffing. All the posturing that comes with the alpha male crap.

[HEyHEY]

13. DUde...I know EXACTLY where you're coming from

I'm the same way....so many of my guy friends have given me a hard time cause I'm not "Doing" any of them.... they can't understand it.

I've been told other girls dig it cause they think you must be a nice guy to be surrounded by so many women.

[rockymountaindem]

15. Yes, that's it.

"Man, why don't you just unzip it and give it to 'em?"

Because, you idiots, that's not what they're there for. I don't understand the disconnect... although most of the time when my one friend says it he's being sarcastic and we have a good laugh. But some of the other ones... man they're shallow.

[put out]

16. My experience only.

I haven't done a study, but here goes:

Some very young men, or those men who value their immaturity and hold close to it, are uncomfortable with women outside a constricted worldview about what a man is (no deviations) and what a woman is (again, no deviations). They can't be a woman's true friend.

Some older men never learned to view women as humans, worthy of knowing and befriending. And they can't be a woman's true friend.

Sad for everyone. That said, I know several men whom I consider real friends. It would be devastating to learn that they feel about female/male relationships the way some posters here do.