Should Parents Pay For Their Childrens College Education?

[Shananigans]

What do you think? Is it an obligation to the parent? Or should the kid be left to pay for it on their own?

[Worst Username Ever]

1. "should pay for it...."

Parents should do whatever they can for their child. If they can afford to give some to college, then they should. If they can't afford it, then they shouldn't. I don't think it is really a given that they should or should not...

[paineinthearse]

2. I voted "other". Post-secondary education should be free.

Divert a few billion from the DoD/CIA to fund higher education.

[Shananigans]

9. I second that one...

In an ideal world....But let's face it...that isn't going to happen anytime soon! Damn government!

[Deja Q]

3. Education should be free for all as the benefits for society are plentiful.

Oops. I keep forgetting. This is America. Land of the Greedy. Home of the knave.

[intheflow]

16. You're such an idealist, HypnoToad.

:hug:

[Deja Q]

32. Why thank you! I live by a maxim, live is what we make of it...

:hug:

And I'm hoping, someday, we can make life a little more equitable and a lot more productive; allowing wealth and the pursuit of it without compromising society the way the repukes are right now. A dumbed down public, jobs going overseas... the wonder American way of life will soon be no more. I know the corporate execs are blinded by greed, but surely they don't see the ultimate result of their short-term greed?

[motely36]

4. I voted other

My mom paid part of my college, but I paid for most of it. And I was happy with that.

[mahina]

5. It's my responsibility to help to the best of my ability,

understanding that unless he gets a scholarship, schools like Harvard are off the menu. We are talking about state schools, and we are talking about summer and Christmas jobs.

Please tell me how a high school graduate is going to make enough money to put themselves through school

Some debt is ok but coming out of 4 years with 40,000$ in debt is not a great way to prepare your kids for life. In my view. Its a free country.

Or...move to Finland, college is free!

[Shananigans]

12. There *are* many options to help with college...

but first, don't get me wrong! I am the biggest advocate of doing whatever you possibly can to get yourself through college. In my college days I was even on the board of directors for our statewide Student Association.

However, I *DO* think it is very possible for a recent graduate to put themselves through college in MOST circumstances. When I got my first job at 16 years old, my parents mandated that I put 1/3 of my checks towards my college account. In addition, I went to a community college for my first 2 years, which cut my college loans nearly in half of what they would have been. I spent my other two years at a highly subsidized state university. With the help of a few grants I was able to obtain and a 20 hour a week job (plus full time summer job) I was able to exit college with two trips abroad (Europe and South Africa) and less than 20K in student loans)

And student loans are GOOD debt. They aren't held against you in most situations, and the interest rates are so low that you barely even notice.

But then again, this is just my situation.

[intheflow]

22. The comm. college for two years is a great option.

I did this myself, and saved boatloads. Plus, it got all my requirements out of the way so that I could concentrate on my area of interest at the high-priced university I attended.

Comm. college also widened my horizons, so I learned that what I thought I wanted to major in was not a good fit. I changed programs and it changed my whole life. I was also a HS drop out, so comm. college was a cheap way for me to find out that higher ed was for me in the first place. And look at me now: going to graduate with my Masters in May!

[mahina]

44. you're lucky...

my folks split up and went broke, Dad (Vietnam vet, massive PTSD'd) didn't file taxes for 2 years, I couldn't apply for fin aid. I was at UC Berkeley wildly in love with the energy resources program there in 1978. I am just finishing NOW, while sending my own through school. Just my situation.

[Biased Liberal Media]

52. I totally agree

I want to fully fund my daughter's college education and I'm going to try as hard as possible to do so. however, Mr. BLM doesn't think we should. It's something we fight about...but we have 13 and a half years til it actually happens so...it's okay for now. LOL.

[mahina]

55. What's his reasoning?

Is it that kids don't appreciate what they are handed without work?
Or that he did it himself in a different economy with a totally different wage rate to tuition ratio? Or that he just doesn't think college is necessary?
I have friends who think all those things. I agree with #1. Kids never do appreciate what they are given. But so what? They will never appreciate much of what we do to raise them, till they have their own. I will still give it anyway if I possibly can, for purely pragmatic reasons.
He will earn more money and be better able to support himself and his kids and wife (God willing) the better educated he is. Period.
You can spend the same money on a car and in 10 years its worthless. Spend it on an education and it pays you back for your lifetime and your kids and thier kids.
Did you know that the single thing we can do to increase the quality of life for poor communities is educate the women?
There is a reason those taliban assholes are against it. We have our own taliban here too dammit!
Good luck, God bless...

[B Calm]

6. I think the best gift you can give your children is an education.

Forget the fancy clothes and nice car!

[Bouncy Ball]

26. Hear, hear

We'd far rather sock money away for a fantastic education for her and the gift of not graduating thousands of dollars in debt than buying her fancy clothes now.

[amazona]

7. things have changed from my day

In my youth it was perfectly possible to put together a package of work, scholarship, and savings from old high school jobs, and a kid could actually get a college education, at least in a state university.

Today, if the parents are unwilling to chip in a significant sum, pay is so low relative to college costs, then the parents are sentencing the child to many years of crushing debt. You can't really work your way through college these days and still be able to study. Minimum wage was around $2 in my day and tuition my first semester was $169! Now minimum wage is around $5.50 and tuition is around $1,600. It is disproportionate.

A college degree today is what a high school degree was in my day -- pretty much necessary to get work and even then not a guarantee of it. I think parents should not consider having more children than they are prepared to educate.

Let the flames begin.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[Book Lover]

10. I'm a parent and I agree

A HS diploma alone is not going to get my child into a career. Trade school or the right college will. I feel that I assumed that responsibility when I decided to breed; I would not presume to judge how other families work this one out.

[Yupster]

25. I don't understand why college costs

have gone up so much faster than the rate of inflation for the last 20 years.

If anyone knows why, please explain it.

[Shananigans]

31. Well, in Minnesota the reason is because...

When the state system (called MnSCU) initially was formed, they, along with the legislature, used a 1/3 model to determine state University tuition costs. They estimated that the state would be responsible for 1/3, the parents would be responsible for 1/3 and the students would be responsible for 1/3. The legislature agreed with that.

However, in recent years higher education has sunk on the priority list and states are contributing less and less. I think in Minnesota the estimate is that the state only pays for 22% of the costs at a public university.

So...it's not necessarily true that the tuition costs have gone up so much...it's just that the state is no longer giving what they once estimated to be their "fair share" and this is falling directly on the backs of students.

[Bouncy Ball]

27. No flames, I totally agree/

See my post further below for our plans for our daughter. We had one partially because we wanted to be able to put all of the financial resources we could into her post-secondary education.

[mahina]

51. exactly!

Thank you for the data, that supports my feeling. Knowledge is good!

[LSdemocrat]

8. Only if the parent is reasonably able to pay

A parent should not have to go into debt to send their kid to college. If loans need to be taken out, then those should be in the kid's name.

[AngryAmish]

11. My folks couldn't pay

Hell, when I was in college I was helping them. But my college payments did not exist and made lots of money between semesters.

[Rabrrrrrr]

13. A parent has NO moral or ethical responsibility to fund college

Paying for college is and should be solely the responsibility of the child. The parent's obligation is to get them through public school and to age 18. After that, the parent's no longer have ethical or moral obligation.

But, I think it's nicer when the parents help out, and if the parents do have the resources I would urge them to lend a hand. But I would offer no judgment against them if they choose not to help, no matter how rich they are.

[Yupster]

28. Agree Rbbbbr

no the parents' responsibility, but they should certainly strive to help as much as they can recognizing their own financial limits and there may be three other kids behind this one.

Luckily we just have one kid.

[Rabrrrrrr]

29. I've never seen my name so mangled!

:P

But thanks for agreeing!

[Deja Q]

30. In an ethical society, I agree.

[mahina]

56. Good point.

Hope we get there one day.

[intheflow]

14. If the parent can afford it, yes.

But who the hell can afford it these days? It was different during the Baby Boomer's college years, when one parent working full-time could support a family of 4 or more, and when the average house cost was about equivilent to one year's salary. Now both parents have to work and a mortage is likely to be six or seven times one person's annual income.

[Misunderestimator]

15. I am not a parent and not a "recent" graduate, but yes... I think that

it is the parents' obligation to pay for their childrens' college education. My father held that ability over my head in order to dictate the major I chose... so I got a scholarship in the field I wanted and defied him, having to work for my living expenses. It would have been much more productive for me if I had had his support instead. Of course, if the parents are strapped financially, the child should take some responsibility in the form of financial aid and part-time work, but if the parents can afford it... yes.

[HEyHEY]

17. Hey...whatever - I paid for my own..but my folks chipped in when they coul

d

[hangemhigh]

18. My kids have to work, maintain their grades and

volunteer in a way that elevates those around them. Otherwise the $$$ stops. I cut it off once for each (2 daughters) and they learned, FAST. They also have to purchase, insure and maintain their own cars. (Otherwise they can bike, walk or bus). I do understand that in some circles this makes me Bitch of the Century but I don't care.

As a result, they have earned academic and leadership scholarships which make a big dent in what I have to contribute. Teaching them these
things has been great for them, although not always easy for me.

[Misunderestimator]

20. Those are perfectly reasonable conditions...

you sound like a good parent.

[Cuban_Liberal]

19. If they can, and the kid's not a total waste of protoplasm, sure.

:)

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

21. Partially, I think

I'm a high school senior, and will be heading off to a pretty pricey college next year. I don't expect my parents to pay for all of it. I know they will want to pay for some, but I would feel guilty if they paid for all of it.

I'll wind up paying for most of it through student loans, but my parents will help out a bit.

[Bouncy Ball]

23. I don't think of it as a hard and fast obligation.

I am obligated to feed her, clothe her, shelter her, make sure she gets to school, teach her things, keep her healthy and safe, love her, etc. Not *obligated* to send her to college.

That being said, I AM going to pay for it. All of it. However far she goes--grad school, med school, law school, whatever.

She's our only child. She's incredibly bright, creative, resourceful. We've impressed upon her that the world is her oyster, that she can and should shoot for the moon--Ivy leagues, small, private schools, out of state, out of country, whatever she wants and gets into. We will pay for it.

We have money set aside (she's in fourth grade). We've told her if she gets scholarships and/or grants, etc. the money set aside can go to buying a laptop, car (if she's at a university where she needs one, most likely she won't be), saving for her future (down payment on a house, wedding, etc.). So that motivates her to do well enough to get scholarships.

Every generation wants their kids to go further. I am no exception. I always knew I was going to college, but I was restricted (for financial reasons) to in state and public. I want no such restrictions on her. My husband and I will work three jobs each if need be. His parents are wealthy and have told us they'd be more than happy to pitch in (she is their only grandchild).

That's not to say she won't have a part-time job in school. Or that she has everything handed to her, not at all. But we've encouraged her to reach sky high. We said "you get in, we'll pay."

If we had more than one child, I'm not so sure we'd say such things.

[solinvictus]

24. My own situation..

My mom and step-dad have set on considerable assets for years without lifting finger one to assist with my undergraduate degree. Now, as a parent, I never want my child to be in the situations I was and am in trying to finance school.

[CarpeVeritas]

33. Parents should pay- but ONLY if the kids live by parents' rules.

idealy however- lifelong education should be free, or virtually so- to all who want it.

i'm not a recent grad, nor a parent.

my parents and i split the cost.

[MrSlayer]

34. Other: College should be free.

Brilliant people who can't afford college lose out to less brilliant people with connections(Chimp). Education should be free for all.

[sir_captain]

38. Public universities are not that expensive

and the top private universities dole out incredible amounts of financial aid. Many of my best friends in college couldn't afford a dime and did just fine with student loans/grants.

Higher education as free for all is a nice idea, but not a feasible one, I don't think. Running huge universities is enormously expensive and banning them from drawing tuition money would be a real big problem.

[politicat]

53. Depends on the planet you live on; State schools are getting pricey.

University of Colorado's (Boulder) estimated expenses for the 2004-2005 academic year are $16,500 for instate students. UCCS (Colorado Springs) is about $14,500, but then, you gotta live in Colorado Springs. That's books, housing, tuition, medical care, transportation, and personal expenses ($1,000 a year, which is not very much, averaged out.)

Arizona State, where I went as an instate, cost me about $14,000 a year, of which $7500 was covered by an honors scholarship. I lived in the dorms for 3 semesters, but found that I couldn't get any work done because of noise levels (in the honors floor...) and so lived off campus for the remainder of my time there. The dorms were overcrowded, anyway - three or four people in a room meant for two is a fast track to problems.

We figured out after I graduated that I would have done better to go to a private school had I been able to afford to summer and winter in the area, since my parents had no money to get me home for breaks.

I came out with no debt, due entirely to the fact that I worked my ass off for five years, went in with an AA (between AP courses and community college courses in High school), and had that scholarship. My parents were literally broke and could not have helped me at all. They have no financial skills, either one of them.

That said, I think that they should have been better able to manage their money all along. My father is a gambling addict, my mother is a shopaholic. Had they gotten help for their problems early on, they would not have blown through the several thousand dollars that came into the household each month. Dad was an O-6 and O-7 until I was 14; mom was an accountant. When Dad retired he got a sizable bonus and went to work as a civil engineer. By the books, we were not poor, but due to the poor impulse control on both sides, more than once the water or the electricity was shut off. Had they had even the foresight to put away 5% of their income - which would not have been painful and still would have left them money for their "hobbies" - my sisters and I could have gone to college with no problems whatsoever. Instead, all three of us had to scrimp and save to do so. Both sisters ended up getting married very young so that they would not have to have my parents' incomes on their financial aid statements. I petitioned for fiscal emancipation instead.

When my niece goes to college, she will have a nice little nest-egg to help her get through, and our support. College is what high school was in the 70s. You can't do anything without it. We believe that she must be able to focus on getting an education, not worrying about the rent. I find the attitude that college is not a parent's responsibility to be horribly selfish. When one brings a child into the world, one makes an implicit promise to the child to help zer to a better world and a better place in it. The attitude that the kid can shift for zerself is like a high school educated parent saying "ah, screw her high school. If she wants high school, she can support herself." The world has changed so much in the 20-30 years between a parent's graduation from high school to the child's that parents can't comprehend that advanced education is now critical, and even a bachelor's may not be enough for a child to get a reasonable job.

[seemunkee]

35. To the best of their ability

Just checked the automatic bill payment for my son's tuition. We have enough saved for 3 years for him and my daughter's tuition is payed if she stays in state. It's going to be tough but I think we can make it without loans.

[AngryOldDem]

36. I am willing to pay half

The other categories didn't seem to fit. I'm willing to help my kids pay for college.

I paid my entire way through. My folks were of no help because they did not see the value of a college education -- long, long story. So they more or less dared me to do it on my own, and I did. I am the first one in my family with a college degree.

Right before I graduated from high school I got a job and managed to pay for college without any kind of financial aid whatsoever (my folks wouldn't even do me the favor of filling out financial aid forms -- my dad in particular was a real asshole about this). While doing it myself was good in that it taught me to be personally and financially responsible, I also missed out on a lot of the college experience that I think is equally beneficial and adds to personal growth. All I did for four years was literally work and study. I got no breaks during the summer, either, because I was working. When I wasn't working, I was freelance writing, the money for which I applied toward books.

College is a financial obligation that I think should be shared between the parent and child. It doesn't have to be 50-50; I want my kids to earn some of their money because it will how them the importance of their investment. They must see that they have a stake in this venture too, probably more than I do. (I had two roommates whose folks paid for everything, and I saw the downsides of that end of the spectrum, too.)

I want my kids to have some fun -- hell, some kind of LIFE -- while at college, not like their old lady who had her nose in books for four years. You are only young once.

[curse10]

37. my parents didn't and aren't paying a dime

for my undergrad or my law school

I wish they had helped out or were able to help out now. I've huge debt now as a result. College is expensive.

[Dastard Stepchild]

39. Mine didn't....

I don't feel particularly cheated, but I do hit them up for cash every chance I get. It probably would have been cheaper to front the tuition payments. :)

I am paying for both my undergrad and graduate degrees. I don't even want to think about the loans coming down the pipe in a few years.

[seaglass]

40. I don't think it is an obligation but if the parents aren't going

to pay or contribute any amount they need to be up front with their kid as early as possible.

When I was a kid we were not allowed to discuss finances in our house so I had no idea what the expectations were. This was not good or fair.

I do plan to pay for both of our kids to go to school, I'm not sure how, I just assumed we would refinance our house and work until we're 90 :D

[JVS]

41. If the parent considers it to be money well spent

In other words: it depends on whether the kid's intententions are serious or the kid wants to booze and screw for a few years

[Nikia]

42. They should help out if they can

I went to an expenisve college that offered generous financial aid. Many rich students got no financial aid, but their parents paid for everything. Very poor students got sufficent financial aid that they could get by working full time in the summer for their share of tuition, room, and board, and use an on campus job to pay for books and incidentals. The students working two full time jobs in the summer and full or near full time jobs during the school year were middle class students whose parents refused to help them. I thought that their parents were cruel.
Likewise, my coworker and her husband make too much money for their children to get any financial aid at a state college. Their daughter worked two part time jobs (the only way she could work around her class schedule) and attended college full time. She also sold all her stuff, including things that meant a lot to her. Two years later, she only has two quarters of college completed, several failing grades, and some mysterious health problems that the doctors think were caused by stress and malnutrition during that time. She is now living at home where her parents are paying for her medical bills and living expenses. My coworker didn't see anything wrong with that situation. "Why should I pay for her college? It's not benefitting me," she said.
I do think that students should be make some contribution to their college. If a parent could afford this, I think that making a student contribute a good portion of earnings from full time summer work (unless perhaps they are participating in a career building unpaid internship or other worthwhile summer activity) towards tuition. I think that encouraging them to work part time to pay for incidentals during the school year is also a good plan, especially if they are not overally involved with extracurriculars.

[WindRavenX]

43. Yes, however...

...I think it's also fair to expect the kid to contribute at least something to help pay- I'm taking out loans, and I'm trying to pay for my books. However, I do believe that a college education is truly the "final" gift a parent can give, which is why I will (someday, in the future) pay for my kid(s) education, no matter how pricey. Go to Harvard? Kewl. Go to BC? Even better. Go to Community College? That's fine too.

[melnjones]

45. I think the student has so much more invested

when they have to at least pay for some of it themselves. I also think grad school should be mostly or totally left for the student to pay.

[WindRavenX]

46. Well....yes and no

Personally, as a student who is dependent on my parents to get me thru the next 2 years of undergrad, I work hard (study, work, and yes, goof off sometimes). However, my grades aren't that great- 3.00 cumulative (word to double majors in science!). I know spoiled ass rich kids who do nothing but party and bum around and have perfect marks. I think it just depends on how well you know your kid- my parents told me that they would pay for whatever school I got into, no matter how much. I got into a top school because I worked hard, and I continue to work hard.
As for grad school, I do think that should be covered by the student.

[loudestchick]

47. I'm the mother of three and each situation is different...

my oldest daughter is brilliant--99th percentile on every standardized test and a great student--it'll be scholarship city
my middle child (a son) is bright but nothing like his sister--we'll hope for community college and pitch in on living expenses if he goes away to school.
my youngest daughter is 3 and I see a career in entertainment--she's a huge ham!--we'll help with expenses I expect.

I have loans and an unfinished degree.

My spouse is a self-taught computer programmer w/ 1 semester of college (just enough to realize he hated the bullshit).

[Left Is Write]

48. I think it depends on a number of factors, including the particular people

involved.

For some people - not all, just some - having to pay for their own education is a greater incentive for buckling down and earning that degree. Speaking for myself, I did a lot better in school once the free ride was over and I had to find a way to pay for it myself (I dropped out as a freshman and went back to school at age 24).

Speaking as the parent of a flighty, immature and relatively irresponsible high school senior, I will say that I will help in whatever way I can to ensure she has the means and proper environment to get a higher education, but I will not write her a blank check.

[baldguy]

49. Education is an INVESTMENT.

There should be public grant money avalable to every student that is accepted to a college or university to attend a public institution. If the student wants to go to a more expensive college, he has to come up with the difference.

Whether or not the parents SHOULD depends on whether they CAN. The Bush economy doesn't give much opportunity to earn extra money.

[Shananigans]

50. If only it really worked this way! But I do agree...

Public education institutions should be free!

[Rabrrrrrr]

54. You know what would happen if we had free state schools?

The freeps and the repuke fuckers would bitch and piss and moan and cry holy hell about being taxed to death for bullshit schools that people should pay their own way through life, we shsouldn't be taxed to pay for schools, especially stae run liberal abortion-teaching schools, we need to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and no more welfare state everyone has to work on their own and make their own way blah blah blah blah fucking boring blah blah blah,

and then they'll send every one of their kids to the free state schools, but it will be because "it just happens to be an excellent school" or "that's where the kid wanted to go" or "it's closer to home, and we're good Christian family values people" or some other line of bullshit.

And, of course, they would never donate as an alum because "Hey, they're already taxing me to pay for that school, why should I donate?" and meanwhile, the dems, who are happily paying the taxes for it, are also donating for special programs and stuff, all the while listening to the 50% freeper student population about how evil and awful the democrats and liberals are for taxing everyone to death while providing nothing of value and how they, the freeper students, are making it on their own and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps while minorities and liberals are living on the public dole, sucking taxes out of the wallets of the freeper father's.

Oh, and the freeps and fundy fucks would make sure that every state school has an "alternative" biology and science department, which they'll sue and sue and sue and sue to get, all while protesting "activist judges" and "legislating from the bench" and crying for "tort reform".

That's what would happen.