Modem Butterfly
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:23 PM
Original message |
Poll question: So how bad would it have to be before you asked Mom and Dad for $$ |
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Edited on Tue Jan-18-05 12:23 PM by Modem Butterfly
I haven't asked my parents for money since I was in college, but my brother asks all the time. I've been really freaking desperate, too, as in, "What can we take to the pawn store?" and "Let's go to the grocery store at 11 PM when all the meat and bread are 50% off,". I'm not desperate now, but it could happen again (especially now that der Bushler is still in power). So my question to you is: How bad would it have to be (or was already) before you ask (asked) Mom and Dad for money?
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Bertha Venation
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:26 PM
Response to Original message |
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Edited on Tue Jan-18-05 12:27 PM by Bertha Venation
Asked my dad for $3000 to be repaid from this year's tax refund. He didn't have it but sent me a check from my grandmother's account.
Edit: we were in danger of losing our house.
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demnan
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:26 PM
Response to Original message |
2. I'd have to be in danger of losing my condo |
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before I'd ask my Mom for money. She lives on a fixed income. But I'd work 3 jobs cleaning toilets in Walmart before I'd give up my home.
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trof
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:29 PM
Response to Original message |
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Borrowed money from my grandmother for down payment on first house. Borrowed from my mother-in-law when I got laid off from my job. Paid both back. Don't think I'd ever ask for outright gift.
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Modem Butterfly
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:36 PM
Response to Reply #3 |
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In the interest of, well, keeping it interesting, let's leave it open.
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Lavender Brown
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:30 PM
Response to Original message |
4. I would hate to ask my parents for help now |
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They helped me so much already when paying for college. It would have to be pretty bad for me before I would ask for money. When I first moved to New York and the rent was really crazy, they thought I wouldn't be able to manage, but they knew I wouldn't ask them. So they would send "early" birthday and Christmas presents, as if I didn't know what they were doing.
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Tsiyu
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:32 PM
Response to Original message |
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Without my parents' help, this household would starve. We have two college students, one 19 year old without parents living here ( he lost his job when the gas station where he worked turned from Amoco to BP prior to Christmas) and me - unemployed since August.
We are on no assistance ( I'm too freaking proud) and only the two college kids work - part time. I made around $3000 last year total. ( This is Appalachia and jobs are hard to come by). I never ask the folks for money, but they are so caring and sweet, they know when I need a bit and always send something every month.
The thing is, the two students are the kids of a Repuke dad. He hasn't done squat to help them, nor has his wealthy family. They rant and rave ( still, no doubt - haven't seen them in a long time) about "evil Welfare Democrats" but not one of them cares how hard these kids are struggling or that there are times we only have rice or ramen noodles to eat. It really gets to you when the haves don't care that the have- nots are their own blood.
We're gonna make it, no thanks to the greedy. And much thanks to my generous, but struggling parents.
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Modem Butterfly
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:44 PM
Response to Reply #5 |
9. I have a Repug friend born with a silver spoon in his mouth |
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I'll never forget the Xmas he came over for dinner (didn't have anywhere else to go) and told Will that he was worried about money and that he wished he had our support system. Will said his support system was in the kitchen mixing up the salad dressing. My friend has a trust fund. We had a long, serious talk that night about exactly what it means to be poor and desperate.
Fast-forward a few years: we're at a Memorial Day cook-out with my Repug friend and his wife. I'm coming around the corner and I hear my friend absolutely BLASTING someone who made a "welfare mother" joke. "You have no idea what it's like to be that poor. At least they're trying to provide for their famlies,"
I still haven't got my friend to vote Dem. But I'm working on it.
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Tsiyu
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Tue Jan-18-05 03:54 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
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Amazing how folks can change when they want to. I bet your friend will be a Dem yet.
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Acryliccalico
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:36 PM
Response to Original message |
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because I have already borrowed from my parents.
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Modem Butterfly
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
8. By all means, don't let that stop you |
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I think a lot of folks have had to, or been damn close to it.
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LynzM
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:50 PM
Response to Original message |
10. We borrowed money from my dad this year, |
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With the understanding that it will be paid back. Right after my husband left school but before he had a job, and then when were both between jobs and moving so that I could get my new, better-paying job and be near family and friends. My dad has quite a bit of money, but that was the first time we have borrowed money from him. He has given us gifts before, but this was the first time I asked. I am hoping that we will be able to pay him back within this year.
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eleonora
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:53 PM
Response to Original message |
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Once it was for rent money, the second time it was to help me repair my car and pay rent. I hated it but without them I'd have gone down the rabbit hole, I'm sure.
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MissB
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:54 PM
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12. I'll have to go with never |
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We help my mother financially.
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GOPBasher
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:55 PM
Response to Original message |
13. I do a lot. I'm a teacher and make a whopping |
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$25,000/yr. I need their help.
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grace0418
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Tue Jan-18-05 12:57 PM
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14. My mom is poorer than I am, |
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my siblings and I actually have to give her money every month to survive.
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frylock
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Tue Jan-18-05 01:10 PM
Response to Original message |
15. i've already asked -- more than once.. |
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Edited on Tue Jan-18-05 01:10 PM by frylock
and my folks have been kind enough to help. Over the last 3 years, I've spent half of that period being unemployed. I'm currently on my eighth month of looking for work, and have had all of one interview. It looks like I will probably be moving in with my parents at the end of the month unless a miracle happens. Thankfully, I'm single and without kids, but at 39 years old, this is probably the low point in my life.
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Zing Zing Zingbah
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Tue Jan-18-05 01:23 PM
Response to Original message |
16. I would ask for money before |
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I became too desperate. I would ask for it at the point when I foresee I will need help in the near future. I wouldn't wait for a possible eviction or having utilities shut off. Nor would I wait for creditors to be hounding me for money.
I would not feel guilty to request help if I legitimately needed it. Likewise, I don't think that anyone in my family would feel guilty to ask me for help either. We are still a family, and our main priority is to help each other out.
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Droopy
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Tue Jan-18-05 02:05 PM
Response to Original message |
17. I've got too much pride to ask my folks for money |
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Probably too much for my own good. If I foresaw a bad situation I would sell my house before it could hit me and get an apartmenmt with a roommate. I'm sort of fortunate in that I can get a job the very next day if I lose my current one as long as I didn't fuck up too bad.
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mark414
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Tue Jan-18-05 02:15 PM
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18. i graduated high school early and took 2 years off before i started school |
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and shit can i tell you that i was completely unrealistic about what it's like to live on your own
my parents are comfortable, they're both teachers so they make a decent salary but nothing extravagant, regardless, i absolutely HATE asking for money; most of the time i'd sell something on ebay or pick up some odd jobs on the weekends to pay the bills instead of asking...only when i got real desperate would i call em up
now that i'm in school and can't work as many hours they help me out a little bit, and sometimes when i come home they'll take me grocery shopping or something
i guess my philosophy is just that being broke as fuck is a struggle that everyone should go through in their lives so that you learn to really appreciate the good things in life and also so you don't turn into a republican!
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Tsiyu
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Tue Jan-18-05 04:02 PM
Response to Reply #18 |
20. I agree with your last point |
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My kids have had the seven bedroom estate and the single wide. They became much more understanding and humble when they moved back with "poor Mom" after the sale of the estate.
Part of the reason I moved here was to immerse myself in a different culture. And now I have so much more of an understanding about poverty because once the money ran out, I was on the same playing field as everyone else.
Poverty does build character, but it also leads to health problems, depression and hopelessness. My parent' always say "you would do it for us" or "just another installment on the walker" or the "senility home" when they help us out. They want their grandkids to work hard but they also like to think they eat a decent meal once in a while. I will take care of my parents the best I can as they have done for me.
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mark414
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Wed Jan-19-05 01:52 AM
Response to Reply #20 |
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my parents will have a decent retirement, but that social security will give that necessary boost...they've done so much for me and made me the person i am, i owe my life to them and damn if i let anything bad to them.
shit man, moving out has also made me realize just how much i love my parents.
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Midlodemocrat
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Tue Jan-18-05 04:11 PM
Response to Original message |
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paid it back in full, and then prior to their deaths, helped pay their bills. My parents retired with almost $1million, but went through every bit of it in 10 years due to my dad's ill health. At one point, we were paying for private nursing care to the tune of $9000 per month, splitting it four ways.
After my mom died, my dad moved down here with me and I took care of him. He passed in August. He had always provided wonderfully for us, and I don't think he knew when he died how broke he was. When I took him out to eat, he was always reaching for the check...a great guy, loyal dem, and just all around great person.
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PittPoliSci
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Wed Jan-19-05 01:54 AM
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I work a shitty part time job while going to college. I have no money whatsoever, and I'm about to beg another 120 out of them so i can join a roller hockey league.
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