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How cold it was this morning, standing at his grave...

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Cuban_Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 05:28 PM
Original message
How cold it was this morning, standing at his grave...
This past Friday morning my best friend's father died after a very brief illness; he was only 58. Bob and I have known each other since we were freshmen in college, and among the many things we have in common, one somewhat stands out, eclipsing the others--- we are both very much "daddy's boys". We both dearly love our mothers, of course, but we adore our dads.

I liked Bob's dad a lot, and he liked me, too; I suspect that that's why Bob and his mom asked me if I would be a pallbearer at his funeral today. As we carried Bob's dad's casket to his grave and stood gathered round it, the cold north wind howling across the frozen prairie, I was more deeply moved than I had imagined I would be: there sat Bob, his arm around his mother, both of their faces stoic, yet frozen more by grief than by the single-digit temperatures. I can only imagine their shared horror on this sad morning.

After I got home, I called my dad, just to tell him how much I loved him; some day, regardless of the weather, I, too, will stand frozen and heartbroken at my father's grave...

Poor Bob.

:cry:

:cry:
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McKenzie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
1. those sort of events get you thinking
about relationships and how our interaction with people we care for is the most important thing in life, bar nothing. Your comment about calling your father shows that you know that. It's important to say what we want to say to those closest to us now, because tomorrow might never come. But you know that too I suspect.

Both my parents went in their mid-50's.

best wishes

McKenzie
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Cuban_Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 06:01 PM
Response to Reply #1
13. The one thing I don't want to do, if I can avoid it, is this:
I don't ever want to stand at someone's grave--- dad, mom, grandparent, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, mate or friend, and regret that I didn't tell them how much they meant to me.
:hug:
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liberalitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
2. You're good friend and a good son.....
My heart goes out to your friend and I hope that it will be a long,long time before you walk a mile in his shoes

I lost my dad in 1986.... I was a REAL daddy's girl.... some wounds never heal
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Cuban_Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 05:58 PM
Response to Reply #2
11. That will be one of the blackest days of my life, I just know it.
I'm sorry about your dad.

:hug:
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babylonsister Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
3. Ah, you are a sweet man!
Here's a hug!:hug:

I too have that to experience in my future, but my dad's still with us.
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Cuban_Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 05:57 PM
Response to Reply #3
10. Thank you.
:hug:
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BrklynLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 05:39 PM
Response to Original message
4. You are a good friend...and a good son.
I guess I don't have to tell you to remember to tell your Dad how much he means to you every so often....don't wait for the eulogy to say the wonderful things you feel. I know for a fact that you will be happy you did...and so will he.
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Cuban_Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 05:42 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. I tell him every time we talk.
And his answer is always the same: "Yo se, mi hijo" (I know, my son).

:)
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 05:44 PM
Response to Original message
6. What a wretched time for a funeral.
I hope to go in spring or fall.
Winter funerals are doubly depressing.
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Cuban_Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 05:56 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. It was just awful today
4 degrees, about a 15 m.p.h. wind, no trees to break the wind. UGH!
:scared:
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 05:48 PM
Response to Original message
7. As sad as your post was
(and I am sorry for your friend's loss of his dad), I love hearing about people who are close to their parents. It's such a precious thing.
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Cuban_Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 05:55 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Thanks.
:)
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 06:00 PM
Response to Original message
12. I am so sorry for your loss, and for the grief you and your friend
are going through.

Thank you for your post, reminding us to tell the people we love how much we love them.

:hug:
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Cuban_Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 06:02 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. You're welcome.
:hug:
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