Redneck Jedis!

[Archae]

Just got this in my e-mail:

You Might be a Redneck Jedi If.....

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya'll."

* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

* You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

* The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

* Wookies are offended by your B.O.

* You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

* You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

* Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side... it'll be a hoot."

* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

* You have a Confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

* You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

* Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

* You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.

* You were the only one drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

* Your business cards read "Billy Bob, Jedi Master".

* Your Y-wing fighter has a bumper sticker that reads "My other fighter is an X-wing".

* You know Ewoks squeal like pigs.

* You use your R-2 unit as a beer coaster.

* When your sister wears her metallic bikini, you insist she travels by clinging to you while swinging on a rope.

* Your land-speeder had a light saber rack.

* Your land-speeder has a bumper sticker that reads "Protected by Smith & Wesson Light Sabers"

* If you hear ... "Billy Bob, I am your father ... AND your uncle!"