The unfunny joke thread!

[bobbobbins]

post the most unfunny joke you can think of

the person who makes me laugh the least gets an award for being absolutely humorless.

[Joe Power]

1. Horse walks into a bar

Bartender says, "Why the long face?"

[bobbobbins]

2. i can't give you credit for that one...

if i hadn't heard it a million times already, it might be mildly amusing.

[Eagle_Eye]

3. A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water.

The bartender pulls out a shotgun and points it at him.

The man says, thank you and leaves.

Why?

[bobbobbins]

5. umm...i dunno...tell me...

[Eagle_Eye]

7. Answer

The man was looking for a cure for his hiccups!

By pulling out a gun, the Bartenders scared the man and his hiccups were gone.

[bobbobbins]

8. hmm...thats more of a riddle than a joke

but still, i dug it

[AllegroRondo]

4. Someone stole the toilet at the police station

Cops say they have nothing to go on.

[bobbobbins]

6. hehe, that one made me smile

[cags]

9. Why did the turkey cross the road?

Because

[bobbobbins]

10. well you're winning so far...although its debatable if thats even a joke

[pres2032]

11. a man is sitting in a bar

when a panda enters the bar, has something to eat, pulls out a gun and kills a customer! no one says anything and the panda leaves. The next day, the man witnesses the exact same thing and like the last time, the panda just leaves. After seeing it all a third time, he finally asks bartender what's going on and the bartender says, "well i didn't know what was going on at first but then i looked it up in an encylopedia and it says a panda eats shoots and leaves."

[bobbobbins]

17. that one was kinda funny the first time i heard it, so nope, you lose

[XNASA]

12. POLISH DIVORCE

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his
English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he
rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce
for him - "very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions:


LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"

POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."

LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

POLE: "It made of concrete."

LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"

POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."

LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"

POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."

LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."

LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"

POLE: "No, I always up before her."

LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"

POLE: "She going to kill me."

LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"

POLE: "I got proof.

LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"

POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."

[bobbobbins]

18. mildly amusing, but pretty lame...you're a runner up

[Briarius]

19. That's great!

[NGU]

13. Knock knock

Who's there?

Laughter, laughter, and more laughter


This joke attempt was brought to you by my goddaughter. She made it up and thinks it is the funniest thing in the world and feels the need to tell it every five minutes.

[bobbobbins]

16. wow...thats terribly unfunny...you're currently in the lead now

[Worst Username Ever]

14. What's the difference between a Cadillac and pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

[bobbobbins]

15. haha, now thats funny...sorry, but you lose

[Worst Username Ever]

20. damn.

[Arkana]

21. Two men walked into a bar.

The third ducked.

[Spacemom]

22. What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

[bobbobbins]

23. hehe, thats good, you lose

[Allenberg]

24. Here's one.

Ask me if I'm a tree.
Are you a tree?
No.

[bobbobbins]

26. that one illicited an amused response...loser

[mr blur]

25. A truckload of wigs mysteriously overturned on the highway...

Police are coming the area for clues.

[bobbobbins]

27. hehe

did you hear about the fire at the circus...it was intense

[AllegroRondo]

28. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

it was dead.