Florence, my grandmother.

[Bertha Venation]

I moved away from California four years ago, when Grandma was still herself. She was slipping into dementia slowly, but still knew who everyone was and still maintained her own home.

Now, a month before her 88th birthday, she has been at Quaker Gardens for a year. When she moved there (against her will), she knew who everyone was but had no short-term memory. Now she doesn't know who anyone is. She sometimes recognizes my sisters as "that girl who comes to see me sometimes." Sometimes my sisters are Grandma's daughter (she doesn't have daughters), her son, her lover (?!), and sometimes she doesn't want to see them at all.

Her feet are terribly swollen and the skin infected. She has no energy and isn't able to walk more than a few feet w/out running out of breath.

I haven't seen her for four years, but I'll see her when I go home next month. I've never seen her without one of her red wigs -- I didn't know that her own hair was so beautiful. I love my grandmother. Late in my childhood, she came through with a home for me, turning out to be a better parent than any of the three who'd sorrily held that title before.

I know she won't know me, but it doesn't matter. I can't wait to see her.

One thing's for sure: one of the first things out of her mouth will be, "You're too fat." :D

[MissMarple]

1. God bless you sweetheart.

And your grandmother, she looks like a kind woman.

:hug:

[Bertha Venation]

5. My grandma is an angry liberal in a strange sense.

Before she lost her mind, she was a card-carrying Republican and had as many photos on the walls of Reagan as pictures of Jesus. But in so many ways, she was a "bleeding-heart" liberal -- she just couldn't stand to see anyone suffer, and would do what she could to take care of people, especially her granddaughters. And from what I saw & heard, she resented every minute of it. :shrug:

It's actions that count, IMO. Not attitude, not position.

[hickman1937]

2. She looks like a lovely woman.

Enjoy her while you can.

[Bertha Venation]

6. Thank you. I intend to. n/t

[clydefrand]

3. I hope you are pleasantly surprised when she sees you.

You might be the exception and she might remember you very well. The mind does strange things in those with dementia. I have an older sister who doesn't remember very recent things, but she knows EVERYBODY...even the new people that she meets! Strange.

Good luck. Let us know about your visit. Your last comment reminds me of my deceased mother-in-law's comments about me! She had dementia and I'm too fat! She wasn't kind to say the least.

[Bertha Venation]

7. We'll see... I'll take whatever I get gladly, because

this will probably be the last time I see her.

[rocktivity]

4. My mom is 80 and has a day nurse...for now.

I call her every evening to remind her to take her pills. She asks the same questions every single time. She's living in senior citizen housing, but of course it won't last. I don't think she'd last more than a month in a home.

:(
rocknation

[Bertha Venation]

8. hey, rn

I'm sorry. :hug:

Grandma asks the same questions all the time, too, before she went to Quaker Oats (as my sisters semi-affectionately call it). "Who are you? Do you have a man? Do you have babies?" And five minutes later, the same spate of questions.

My best wishes for your mom & you.