I Married a Monster from Outer Space

[McKenzie]

John Cooper Clark

Seems a silly rant but it's quite incisive, possibly about our reluctance to accept anyone who looks "different". Sorry, it's Friday night, I'm exhausted from work and I've just been to see "Closer" with four female friends. I'm sitting there and the main characters are talking about fucking in the most explicit terms. They pissed themselves laughing; I got a redder.

The milky way she walks around
All feet firmly off the ground
Two worlds collide, two worlds collide
Here comes the future bride
Gimme a lift to the lunar base
I wanna marry a monster from outer space
I fell in love with an alien being
whose skin was jelly - whose teeth were green
she had the big bug eyes and the death-ray glare
feet like water wings - purple hair
I was over the moon - I asked her back to my place
then I married the monster - from outer space
The days were numbered - the nights were spent
in a rent free furnished oxygen tent
when a cyborg chef served up moon beams
done super rapid on a laser beam
I needed nutrition to keep up the pace
when I married the monster from outer space
We walked out - tentacle in hand
you could sense that the earthlings would not understand
they'd go.. nudge nudge ...when we got off the bus
saying it's extra-terrestial - not like us
and it's bad enough with another race
but fuck me... a monster ...from outer space
In a cybernetic fit of rage
she pissed off to another age
she lives in 1999
with her new boyfriend - a blob of slime
each time I see her translucent face
I remember the monster from outer space

[edbermac]

1. Ain't that the truth...

[McKenzie]

2. bloody 'ell! alien species! n/t