On the dole....

[whistle]

<snip>

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi...you know, I just HATE drawing welfare and I'd really much rather have a job and go to work every day."

The social worker behind the counter looks and stares straight at the guy with wide open eyes and says excitedly, "Your timing is excellent! We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his 18 yr old beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".

The guy says, "You're bullshittin' me, right!"

The social worker squints her eyes into a beady stare and says, "Yes I am, but remember you started it!”

<From my friend in Maine who is buried under 38 inches of snow>