Problem with the TEENAGER

[shesemsmom]

okay, I just posted shes having a bad day. Now it looks like shes breaking up with the Boyfriend, This kid has had a lot of heart ache the last year and is in counseling and on anti depressants. What am I gonna do. I'm afraid she might think her life is over. How do I handle her. I know what it's like to be a teen with a broken heart I was one once myself.

[7th_Sephiroth]

1. its the drugs i think

spend time with her, take her places regularly

[shesemsmom]

3. I've tried taht but she's a moper

nothing makes her happy, unless it's the Boy friend

[7th_Sephiroth]

7. how old is she?

???

[shesemsmom]

16. 16

ugh!!!!!

[7th_Sephiroth]

17. its natural

just be carefull who she finds to go out with, i'm 20 myself

[shesemsmom]

26. she wont go out with any one else. She loves this boy

[7th_Sephiroth]

27. she'll get over him

it''ll take a month but she'll either get over him or get back with him

[shesemsmom]

32. I don't know if she'd get over him quickly

[7th_Sephiroth]

33. she will

just be suppoerive

[shesemsmom]

34. I will

[American Tragedy]

44. It took me a hell of a lot longer than a month to "get over it"

when I was her age. Not to be pessimistic, but some people don't just bounce back from an intense relationship.

[7th_Sephiroth]

50. you'd be suprised, what i have seen and done in my short life

what works for you might not necessarily work for he, we dont even know the whole story yet, it could be something as petty as a friend telling her she saw him talking to another girl

[shesemsmom]

51. And I know it would take her more than a month. She is the type to mope

over it forever. She lost touch with a friend years ago and found a way recently to recontact that girl. She broods on things

[JVS]

2. If she mopes and acts sad you should tell her that if she can't handle...

breaking up then she isn't ready to have boyfriends

[shesemsmom]

6. It's way to late for that. He has even given her a ring

you know sweet heart. She is very mature in some ways and very child like in others. She sometimes worries the crap out of me

[JVS]

11. Now is a good time to expose such rings as foul symbols of empty promises

Also you might want to tell her that this is what happens when you place your trust in people

Psalm 118:8-9

8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.
9 It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in princes.

[shesemsmom]

18. No I think she smothers him

he said he needs some space. I told her to give it to him. He is a sweet boy

[JVS]

21. oops, I edited above

[shesemsmom]

22. Will do thanks

she is outside chatting with him now I hope they work it out

[XNASA]

4. Our troubled teen has been much happier as of late.....

And if I knew why exactly, I'd tell you. In fact, I'd bottle it and sell it.

He had a rough go of it his first 2 and a half years of HS, but now he seems to be getting it together.

You know how it is, you just have to hang tough and be there for them. It's funny how little control you have once they reach a certain age. God bless 'em.

[shesemsmom]

8. Yes, I understand

I never know what a teen girl will do.I scares me

[devilgrrl]

5. I wonder how long it's going to take...

for this thread to be deleted.

Not for the content here, threads about teenagers in general seem to get locked for some reason.

:shrug:

[shesemsmom]

10. I wonder why??

[devilgrrl]

48. search me...

I started one defending them against the negative stereotypes (gangs, promiscuity, drugs, vandalism, etc...). The mods snuffed the thread... to this day I'm perplexed.

[alittlelark]

9. Have you thought about doing a road trip w/ her?

3-4 days... she may hate it in the beginning, but if you can figure out a location SHE would love to go to, it might quicken up the re-bonding process. She sounds like she is lost in a world of adolescent angst and hormones.

[shesemsmom]

13. Yes I have thought of that but fiances being what they are it is almost

impossible. Hubby having surgery next month to add to that .

[alittlelark]

19. If there is any way you can pull it off - you should.

Is she anti-b*sh? Plan a road trip to a BIG rally on March 19th! One night in a hotel, Two days on the road. It couldn't hurt.

[shesemsmom]

24. yes she's anti bush

I was thinking more of a supposed haunted motel in southern indiana. will call them tomorrow and see if we can work it out

[Corgigal]

14. thats what I'm doing

Taking the 15 year old girl to NYC to see some Broadway shows and to show her the world is a big damn place. I think just the change of scenery can do her some good. Her freshman year in HS has been her worst year yet.

[shesemsmom]

20. Oh that sounds like fun

the last 2 years here have been finacially trying and we are just getting back on our feet. I will try to take her some where

[postulater]

38. We did that too

Our fifteen year old daughter promised she would be miserable (and intended to make us miserable)every moment of our vacation last summer. She was angry because we interrputed her summer with a vacation and she was unable to go to the Warped Tour.

We drove across the plains to Wyoming and spent the week in Jackson Hole then drove to Yellowstone.

Try as she might she failed to make us miserable and in fact we caught her actually enjoying herself several times. My favorite was the photo we used for out holiday card of both daughters standing on a rock in a Wyoming lake with huge mountains in the background, arms up in the air playing queen-of-the-world.

The experience was wonderful and really perked her up after a tough freshman year.

Yup, a road trip is highly recommended.

:party:

[shesemsmom]

40. we are planning a road trip through Pa this summer. Gettyburg Hershey

Philladelphia. But that is in May if we can swing it. I am thinking of a haunted inn for this weekend if I can get the Money together. It's 107 dollars and a lot of cash in STORY indiana. She loves that kind of thing

[liberalhistorian]

12. Ah, yes, how well I remember

what it was like to be a teenage girl; all the emotional ups and downs, the feeling that you'll never, ever get over a boyfriend, how every little thing felt like The End of the World and no one will ever, ever understand you and you just can't go on, etc., etc. I may have just turned forty, but sometimes the teen years feel like just yesterday!

The best thing you can do for her now is to just be there for her, to listen. Don't judge or lecture or parrot the usual trite parental teenage cliches, or anything like that. Just be there to listen and let her talk it out; make sure she knows how important she is to you and the family and that there's nothing she can't talk to you about. Make sure she knows you're always available to listen no matter what time it is, then just let her vent however she needs to. Keep a sharp eye out for anything indicating suicidal thoughts or preparations, and things like that, though. Teens tend to think they're invincible and that even if they're dead, they're not really dead, they'll still be around in some way.

[shesemsmom]

15. She has a card in her room the councilor gave her that says

suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I hope she remembers that

[liberalhistorian]

31. I sure hope

and pray she does, also!

[Rabrrrrrr]

23. Share your story with her - you say that you know what it's like

to be a teen with a broken heart.

I think she needs to hear that story, and see that, yeah, you made it through. And, of course, listen to her story. But you might need to go first.

You are indeed very concerned about her!

[shesemsmom]

25. I've told her before

and I was only 21 when my Hubby was killed and she knows that too. She knows some of the details and how badly I was hurt emotionally and phsically

[salin]

36. I would bet that while she "hears" you

(and does file away these stories)... your stories right now still have the "Mom" factor .... do you have any female relatives to which she is close - or does she have any older female friends through social organizations (like church, gym or other)... if they can tell her their stories as well - she might "listen" a little more right now.

My nephews and niece - "hear" their parents (and later parrot their lessons), but don't always "listen" (eg process)... but as their 'cool' aunt they tend to listen a little more (right now) to my experiences/insights a little more willingly than they do to their parents.

[shesemsmom]

41. No she has pretty much shut herself off from him and a couple of other

friends, Good kids. I think she PMSing and is asking to see her councilor tomorrow

[salin]

43. Wise kid

if she is asking to see her counselor... many kids see counselors as someone they see to please their parents, rather than someone to talk to when things get too heavy to carry alone.

[HEyHEY]

28. Don't drug her up

Seriously, she's gonna have to handle heartbreak without drugs

[shesemsmom]

35. She is already prescribed tons of meds that I am on the verge of opposing

the most of the, 150 ( way to much) Zoloft strattra 60 mg. Triazadone 50 mg which I take too. and now omething new called abilify which is a anti phycoitic drug I don't have any idea why she prescibed but it bothers me. my Mom has to take her to this Dotor because she can only see her on Mondays and I work every monday. I think I'll call the shrink

[postulater]

46. Right !

You do need to be careful getting off those drugs. Some are more dangerous when withdrawing from them.

You might look for some information on nutritional support during the process.

It's especially important to be getting a good B vitamin complex, multimineral with the trace minerals and Omega-3s (3 grams per day in capsules is pretty easy).

You might also check out the links on this page.

http://www.prozactruth.com/taper.htm

[American Tragedy]

45. Really. They did me a world of good.

They may have indirectly saved my life.

[Taxloss]

29. The drugs are a huge mistake.

Seriously. I took prescription SSRIs myself and they help, a bit, but only for people who are oherwise stable - that is, not teenagers.

[roguevalley]

30. let her talk it out to you. tomorrow is another day. right now it doesn't

seem so but tomorrow will come. reevaluate the drugs. Kids are often prescribed drugs meant for adults.

[shesemsmom]

37. Shes been on most of it a year and a half and I can't just stop them

she has to be weaned off

[roguevalley]

39. your doctor will help. sometimes they help and sometimes drugs

don't. a physical is a good place to start. good luck. :)

[shesemsmom]

42. we had that

and she has post tramatic stress syndrome and adhd all complicated by being a teen

[American Tragedy]

47. I went through unbearable hell at her age. No words to describe it.

I still occasionally have flashbacks and nightmares, especially if I see someone or something to remind me of that time. The hormones and naivete of that age seem to amplify suffering; perhaps it scars everyone.

Be sure to take her pain seriously, whatever may be causing it. One of the things that hurt me and infuriated me most is when adults ignored just how severely relationships and personal tragedies were affecting me, saying that I was young and resilient and I'd bounce back in a few days.

[hickman1937]

49. It sounds to me like she put all of her

emotional eggs into the boyfriend basket. Thats a tough one. she needs counseling. It sounds like your getting it for her. Does she have any girlfriends who aren't attached at the hip to a boyfriend? My daughter went through a very bad time at 15, Her three best friends pulled her through it. I also managed to convince her that you do actually get to the other side of rejection pain, it does go away. She thought she would feel that bad for the rest of her life.

[shesemsmom]

52. I made her an appointment for 1:00 this afternoon for Councilor visit

I also called her home room teacher and gave him a heads up. He knows the emotional probalems shes had and is awesome.