Heard a good one.

[King Coal]

Latvian monks can only say two words every 5 years. At the end of his first five years brother Luther was asked to speak his two words by the head monk. "Food bad" was his reply. The head monk said that they would work on that, and try to make his food better. At the end of 10 years, brother Luther said, "Bed Hard". So, they got him a better mattress. At the end of fifteen years, his two words were "I Quit." The head monk told him, "That doesn't suprise me, you have been bitching ever since you got here."

[jeff30997]

1. Hehehe. Good one.

[Semi_subversive]

2. I like that one. Very original.

[bloodyjack]

3. So this woman goes to see her doctor complaining of abdominal pains

And the doctor decides to run some tests

He comes back w/ the results and asks her

"Tell me, how do you feel about a lot of crying and crappy diapers?"

The woman, elated at the possibility that she may be pregnant says "Oh doctor I havent a problem with those things at all!"

The doctor says "Good, because it turns out you have advanced ascending bowel cancer and only six months to live"

Ba dum tshh