Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 01:55 PM
Original message |
I'm really really freaked out about something right now!!! |
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I woke up at 2 am in a cold sweat. I was remembering my senior year in college (my first senior year, not the second one). I was an English major and we had to choose two out of the following three authors to study in depth for at least two semesters each:
1. Chaucer 2. Shakespeare 3. Milton
Well, I chose Chaucer and Shakespeare. I read a bit of Milton and said "No FUCKING way."
I woke up in a cold sweat because it suddenly occurred to me, in my SLEEP no less, that I might have made a MASSIVE mistake.
What if I have missed jokes that have come my way over the years that were allusions to Milton or his work? How would I know? I WOULDN'T!!!!
What if I'm on a game show someday and there is a question about Paradise Lost and I don't get it but the geeky guy next to me does?
Worse yet, what am I missing from never having read more than 15 words of Milton? Is my life incomplete?
Egads, tell me!!! Have you studied him? What am I missing? Should I take a remedial Milton course ASAP???
Oh these regrets, they haunt me.....
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LiberalVoice
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Wed Jan-26-05 01:56 PM
Response to Original message |
Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 01:57 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
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I mean, Prozac helps with depression, right? Not post-college anxiety!
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radwriter0555
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:08 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
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a serious but VERY cool tranquilizer called CLONAPIN. It doesn't make you stupid, but it stops the rat wheel in your lil head.
Unless of course you LIKE the rat wheel, in which case, carry on.
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Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:16 PM
Response to Reply #10 |
22. And where do I get that? |
mike_c
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Wed Jan-26-05 01:56 PM
Response to Original message |
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Professional psychatric help. Alternatively, get good and drunk.
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Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 01:57 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
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You just inadvertently gave me the ANSWER!!!
I must get drunk, THEN READ MILTON!!!!
Oh thank you, my man. Brilliant. Will be doing that this weekend.
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mike_c
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:10 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
13. my fee request is in the mail.... |
Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:15 PM
Response to Reply #13 |
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I thought you were free. I hope you are at least cheap.
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mike_c
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:17 PM
Response to Reply #21 |
23. as cheap as they come.... |
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Edited on Wed Jan-26-05 02:17 PM by mike_c
No one is cheaper than I.
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LisaM
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Wed Jan-26-05 01:59 PM
Response to Original message |
5. Relax. Get some Cliff's notes on "Paradise Lost" |
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and read a biography of him. No need to plow through his work. That way, you're safe on "Jeopardy!" (Oh, and by the way, as far as the geeky guy next to you, he's more likely to know the height of the world's highest 100 mountains in order than to be on speaking terms with Milton.)
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MuseRider
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:00 PM
Response to Original message |
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wondered the same thing (without the bad dreams). I read a little Milton and had the same reaction. Now when he is brought up I just feel so stupid! Not enough apparently to do anything about it though. Drink up sweetie. :beer:
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Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:15 PM
Response to Reply #6 |
20. I think anytime Milton is brought up |
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(and mind you, it doesn't happen often, but I do have friends who would bring him up), I should just yell "FUCK MILTON" and then buy everyone a drink.
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tridim
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:04 PM
Response to Original message |
7. No worries.. Milton has been moved to the storage basement |
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with his red Swingline stapler. They fixed the glitch.
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peekaloo
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:09 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
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Pandemonium in the basement. :o
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Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:14 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
18. Oh good. That's a load off. |
barb162
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:07 PM
Response to Original message |
8. Read" Paradise Lost" and" Paradise Regained "and be done with it |
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Edited on Wed Jan-26-05 02:08 PM by barb162
He's hard to read. Also as far as the geek next to you, if he's really as geeky as you indicate he's probably reading Alexander Pope or boring Restoration playwriters, so you won't have to worry about Milton. Beside that, if he says something on Milton, retort without answering with another question- some obscure question about Chaucer or Shakespeare that you KNOW he wont be able to answer.
Oh these damned academic games....
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Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:14 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
17. He IS hard to read!!! |
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I'm remembering now, that's why I said no thanks and chose the other two.
Shakespeare's more fun anyway. And Chaucer is too, dammit.
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barb162
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:30 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
26. As I read your last sentence it reminded me of senior yr. in |
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high school. The English teacher made us recite/ memorize the intro to the "Tales" or was it something in Old English versus Middle English... I can't quite remember. Anyway I remember being up there in front of the class and he made me get the gum out of my mouth first.
can't remember what the hell it was from phonetically a part of it was
"......................... sure a soe-ta "the drawt of march hath pair-ced to the roe-ta
.............. of which vair- tue engendered.....""
I later went on to study English literature, 19th century, as I could never get into the "Gawain and the Green Knight" stuff
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barb162
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:39 PM
Response to Reply #26 |
30. it was from Beowulf I think |
Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
38. No one knows who wrote Beowulf. |
barb162
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Wed Jan-26-05 10:36 PM
Response to Reply #38 |
41. it had to be some monk as they were about the only people capable |
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of writing in those good ol' days
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fishwax
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Wed Jan-26-05 03:30 PM
Response to Reply #26 |
33. ah, the opening of The Canterbury Tales |
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whan that april with his shoures soote the drought of march hath perced to the roote and bathed every vein in swych liquoor of which vertu engendred is the floore whan zephirus eek with his sweete breeth inspired hath in every holt and heeth the tendre croppes; and the younge soon hath in the ram his halves course yronne
(etc.)
I had to recite it too, for a Chaucer course. (Didn't have to memorize the spelling, though, so some of the spellings might be wrong).
:)
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Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 03:46 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
36. The boys in my class loved the part that sounded like |
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"have a Coors" and they'd do that part extra loud to piss the teacher off.
Hi Ms. Hunt whereever you are!!!! :hi:
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barb162
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Wed Jan-26-05 04:00 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
39. okay!!!! like a foreign language... shoures soote |
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Edited on Wed Jan-26-05 04:01 PM by barb162
was pronounced, according to the prof as shor-es soe-tuh as I recall and damned if I remember what anything meant. And Chaucer was considered Middle English, wasn't he.
I was much better with the 19th century and Victorian literature.
Thank you
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fishwax
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Wed Jan-26-05 05:55 PM
Response to Reply #39 |
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Edited on Wed Jan-26-05 05:56 PM by fishwax
that's how it's pronounced, and Chaucer's Middle English is quite like a foreign language. I didn't think I would like it at all before taking the class, but I was fortunate that the prof was REALLY into it and also was excellent at reading it, and so I came out with an enjoyment of it all.
Still, though, I'm with you -- I'll stick with the later years (19th/20th century American, myself). :)
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Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 03:45 PM
Response to Reply #26 |
35. Whan that April with its shore a sota (I am doing this phonetically) |
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the drought of March hath perced to the rot-a and bathed every vein in swish liquor of which vertu engendred is the flour (pronounced flooor).
And then something about creatures in every holt and heath, etc.
I loved it. I love speaking Middle English. It's beautiful.
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barb162
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Wed Jan-26-05 10:42 PM
Response to Reply #35 |
43. yeah, yeah, the top three lines are bouncing in my head all day now. |
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pierced was pair-said
bathed was bo-thed (bo as in sheep's baa)
vair -tu engendred was the floor (rhyme "coor" beer) liquor was li-coor
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barb162
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:35 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
29. I meant to mention I thought he was brilliant (John Donne too) |
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and he had so much imagery and everything else going on and he put his words together so well, but it was so dense in its meaning and spirituality and layers of biblical references and oh my god. You know how all those guys back then had the bible memorized and they just drew these references out of their rear ends and I would have to sit there with a bible on the side trying to figure out the biblical passages just to understand what the poets were getting at, and man, it was hard.
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Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #29 |
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now I could get into him.
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On the Road
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:08 PM
Response to Original message |
9. Milton? You Mean Milton Berle? |
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Always thought he was overrated. :silly:
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barb162
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:31 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
LynneSin
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:09 PM
Response to Original message |
12. I had a similiar nightmare about Calculus that seemed so real |
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that I actually bought a used calculus book and swore it was the gods telling me I should have learned the subject.
BTW - I'm selling a used Calculus book if anyone needs one!
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Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:12 PM
Response to Reply #12 |
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Really? LMAO!! That's funny.
Ok, I've never had that thought about calculus, although when I saw "Stand and Deliver" and found out that calculus was so cool (figuring out the orbits of PLANETS? How cool is that???) I felt a twinge of regret for never having learned it. But I got over that quickly.
This Milton thing is worrying me, though. Think I'll get drunk and read some Cliffs Notes. That should be fun!
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Lavender Brown
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:11 PM
Response to Original message |
14. It's weird... some mornings I wake up thinking I'm late to class or forgot |
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to read something... and I graduated in 2001.
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Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:13 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
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and I have dreamed that some Important People knocked on my door and said "Hand it back" and I'm like "What?" and they said "The diploma...we were going over some things and you didn't really earn it."
I wake up sweating and screaming.
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tridim
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:15 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
19. I think that happens to everyone |
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Edited on Wed Jan-26-05 02:15 PM by tridim
It's such a good feeling after you come to realize it was just a dream. This was portrayed well in the movie "Top Secret", except when Val Kilmer wakes up he's being tortured with a whip and exclaims, "Oh, thank God!" :D I have to rent that movie again soon.
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barb162
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Wed Jan-26-05 10:55 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
44. I graduated decades ago and still will have a dream, actually, a |
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nightmare, that I am missing my SAT or GRE exam. Terrifying. It's almost always the same: bad snowstorm or blizzard and the public transport isn't running well if at all and I just can't get to the test center even though I am prepared. I get there as they are closing and can't take the test to get into college.
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Demit
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:21 PM
Response to Original message |
24. No, no. Read "On His Blindness". Much shorter, and you can still say you |
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read Milton. If somebody makes an allusion to "Paradise Lost", you can parry by saying "Oh, I much prefer--" and then you quote a line from "On His Blindness".
I once stumped some very erudite people in Charades with "Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?" which was the maximum seven words. Hah!
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Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:26 PM
Response to Reply #24 |
25. Oooo, good idea, seriously. |
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Didn't know about that, ta!
:toast:
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tigereye
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:33 PM
Response to Reply #25 |
28. well, I was also an English major |
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and I did have to read Paradise Lost. And I recently started to re-read it... I dragged it out of the bookshelf and it even had the old syllabus for the class in it. I remembered very little about it, I am sad to say. I think it is worth reading, but there are certainly others from that period who are more fun. Also, you probably need to be stoned, ala the Lit professor in Animal House. ;)
You have interesting literaty anxiety dreams, BB. If I had to pick one to re-read maybe it would be Dante's Inferno. Similar topics... different period, but more action, no?
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barb162
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Wed Jan-26-05 11:01 PM
Response to Reply #28 |
45. I still remember discussing in class why Milton decided to make |
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Satan the most interesting and vivid character in "Paradise Lost"
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progressoid
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:39 PM
Response to Original message |
31. Hey! I read this same thread over at Freeperville! |
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Except the choices were: 1. Ann Coulter 2. Sean Hannity 3. Jerry Falwell
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Bouncy Ball
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Wed Jan-26-05 03:43 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
34. Oh they are such sad creatures, aren't they? |
Shakespeare
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Wed Jan-26-05 02:56 PM
Response to Original message |
32. He wrote some beautiful short poems. |
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I took a Milton class against my will, and ended up LOVING it (and I'm a hardcore bardophile). If you don't want to read Paradise Lost, try his "twin" poems "L'Allegro" and "Il Penseroso," and the really moving elegy "Lycidas."
And if you're feeling in a particularly masochistic mood (because it's NOT easy reading), try his treatise on free speech, Areopagitica. He was quite the radical!
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RetroLounge
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Wed Jan-26-05 10:41 PM
Response to Original message |
42. I have my Masters in English |
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and I used to have dreams like that.
The worst were the dreams that were all Faulknerian. They just rambled on forever and ever. Somebody buy that man a period.
RL
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Bouncy Ball
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Thu Jan-27-05 12:17 PM
Response to Reply #42 |
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I had Hemingwayian (LOL) dreams. Just short and stuttery.
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ernstbass
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Thu Jan-27-05 12:36 PM
Response to Original message |
47. As long as you know about the Wife of Bath |
BurtWorm
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Thu Jan-27-05 12:43 PM
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48. Milton is worth reading |
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Without a doubt. Paradise Lost is a brilliant work. I took a course devoted to Milton and the Canon that was one of the best courses I've ever taken. I also took courses on Shakespeare and Chaucer, by the way. His prose works are worth reading as well, especially Aeropagitica, which defends freedom of the press.
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