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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 03:39 PM
Original message
Mama said:
If you keep biting your fingernails you'll grow a fingernail tree in your stomach and it'll come out your mouth.
(I still didn't quit for several years and no tree ever appeared.)
Finish your peas. There are little boys and girls starving in China.
(I was never able to make the connection between what I did or didn't eat and how it could affect Chinese kids one way or another.)
Policemen are your friends.
(I thoroughly believed that until one night in New Orleans)
If you stick your arm out the car window another car will come along and chop it off.
(Never happened.)
You've got to eat a peck of dirt before you die.
(Which is why I'm so fastidious and plan on immortality.)
Honesty is the best policy. ALWAYS tell the truth.
(I have found this not to be strictly true in every case.)
If I hear you say that word again I'll wash your mouth out with soap.
(I have more than a passing familiarity with the taste of Octagon Soap. It is NOT an acquired taste.)
Do not pet strange dogs.
(I learned that if you pet a dog it is no longer "strange". Now it's your buddy.)

These are just a few.
What did you mama say?
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 03:41 PM
Response to Original message
1. I know what Ivory soap tastes like.
You're right x( It's NOT an acquired taste.
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 03:43 PM
Response to Original message
2. Don't cross your eyes
They will freeze in that position. I never did it again and I tell my kids the same thing. Eye stuff freaks me out.
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 03:45 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. Forgot that one.
Yep, she said that too.
They didn't.
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Darknyte7 Donating Member (687 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 03:44 PM
Response to Original message
3. Mama said
Knock you out!

LL Cool J, Album: Mama Said Knock You Out. (1990)
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StopTheMorans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 03:45 PM
Response to Original message
5. you miserable fucking failure, i can't believe that we share the same
genetic code
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. Isn't that what Babs said to the boy king idiot?
:shrug:
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StopTheMorans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. i don't know, is my mom named babs?
:cry:
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 03:46 PM
Response to Original message
6. Eat your spinach and it'll put hair on your chest
Mind you I'm a girl and did not particularly fancy having hair on my chest!
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China_cat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 03:50 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. I was told that if I ate my spinach
I could grow up to be male.

Didn't work. Thank goodness.
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 03:48 PM
Response to Original message
9. Eat your carrots they are good for your eyesight.
Turns out she was right about that, vitamin A and eyes and all, but I still don't like cooked carrots.
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lateo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 03:53 PM
Response to Original message
11. Mamma always said...
"If she doesn't swallow...don't marry her."
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DulceDecorum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 04:19 PM
Response to Original message
12. "Never cross
in front of a vehicle driven by a man wearing a turban."
(The neighbor fancied himself as a rally driver
and his brakes had been known to fail.)

"If you get yourself killed crossing the road, I will personally beat you death."
And she showed me the switch she would use.
I was twelve before I figured that one out
and I don't put it past her to either hold a seance
or hire a deceased hitman to carry that one out.
In her defense, we lived near a busy street.

"Don't bake (or roast) eggs."
(They explode.)
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elperromagico Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 04:21 PM
Response to Original message
13. "You'll go blind!"
No, you won't.

In my case, I just went nearsighted.
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Mad_Dem_X Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-05 04:24 PM
Response to Original message
14. Eat your bread crusts, you'll get curly hair
Maybe I don't *want* curly hair!
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