Post your favorite Cheech n Chong bit here!!!

[jswordy]

"Dave? Dave ain't here, man!"

[ronnykmarshall]

1. Class, class, cllllaasssssss

cl ....

SHAAADDDDDDD UP!!!!!

Thank you.


TEACHER:
Good morning, class. Good morning, class. Class? Class!? SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you.
As you know your regular teacher Sister Rosetta Stone is on a small vacation. However she does send her love, at least fingerpaintings, and desk club she`s making. I am your substitute teacher, Sister Mary Elephant.
Class, attention. Attention, class! Class? SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you.
Young man, now give me that knife. Thank you.
Now class, you all know who I am, so let`s find out who you are.
Class? Class!? SHUT UP!!!!!

CHONG:
Far out, man!

TEACHER:
Thank you.
Now class, Sister Rosetta has informed me that your assignment for the last two months has been to write an essay in titled How I Spent My Summer Vacation. Who would like to read theirs before the class?
Class? Class!? Cla-- SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you.
Young man in the first row, stand up, state your name, and read your essay.

STUDENT:
Who me?

TEACHER:
Yes. Read your essay, please!

STUDENT:
Uh, I don`t have it finished yet.

TEACHER:
Well then, read what you have, young man!

STUDENT:
Okay. The first day on my vacation, what I did on my summer vacation, the first day on my vacation, I woke up. Then, I went downtown to a quiet job. Then I hung out in front of the drugstore. The second day on my summer vacation, I woke up, then I went downtown to look for a job. Then I hung out in front of the drugstore. The third day on my summer vacation, I woke up...

TEACHER:
Now that`s fine, young man!

STUDENT :
...Then I went downtown to look for a job...

TEACHER:
Now that`s fine, young man!

STUDENT :
...Then I got a job, keeping people from here and out in front of the drugstore. The fourth day on my...

TEACHER:
Young man? Young man? Young man!? SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you.
Now class, I have a surprise for you! I`m going to read you some poems out of this lovely book of poetry. The sun kisses the morning skies. The birds kiss the butterflies. The dew kisses the morning grass. Class? Class!? Cla-- WAKE UP!!!!!

CHONG:
I gotta go to the can, man!

[guitar man]

4. LOL

young man, give me that knife! whooosh...doiinnng!!! :evilgrin:

[Blue-Jay]

2. "Can I see your license?"

"Hey man, ain't it on the back bumper?"

[johnnie]

3. "You..in the vest is it?"

"Ah yeah...who cuts your hair?"

[truthseeker1]

5. He caught me in the bathroom with a pair of PANTYhose!

duh duh DUH, duh duh DUH, bram bram bram

[jswordy]

6. Unh, what's that?

#1: Unh, what's that?
#2: Unh, dunno. Look like dog shit.
#1: Enh? Feel.
#2: Unh, feel like dog shit.
#1: Smell.
#2: HUH?
#1: SMELL!
#2: Unh, smell like dog shit.
#1: Taste.
#2: Taste???
#1: Taste!

(tasting sounds)

#2: Unh, taste like dog shit.
#1: Must be dog shit. Good thing we no step in it

[jswordy]

7. Tired of that steady drip..drip..drip...of gonorrhea?

Well, call Peter Rooter!

[ronnykmarshall]

9. Peter Rooter, that's the name

Just flush your troubles, down the drain!

[mr_hat]

8. The first day of my summer vacation, I hung out. The second

day of my summer vacation, I hung out...

[catmandu57]

10. There's too many

How's our big brave motorcycle rider today?
Ooomph
Well guess what? today we're going to have a look at your wounds, that's right we're going to take off all that tape.

I would've taken the reds man.

[Dzimbowicz]

11. Cheech asked:

"We're smoking dog shit, man! I wonder what Great Dane tastes like?"

[pintobean]

12. The Ajax Lady

[Sporadicus]

13. Acapulco Gold Filters

No stems, no seeds that you don't need...Acupolco Gold is some BAD ASS WEED!!!
(Camera Pan Left)
Hi there folks! Smoking more now, but getting high less? Well, try new Acapulco Gold Filters (in regular and menthol). And, don't forget to save the grooovy coupons on the back...how do you think I got this outta sight hash pipe?! But don't take my word for it...take Ashley Roachclip of the Jefferson Hairpie Institute...let's hear what he had to say:
(Enter Ashley Roachclip)
*cough*cough*
Uh...hey there...everytime I lay some of this Gold on my friends...they light it up...and they take ONE toke...and they look at me...and they say "Roach! This weed's a muthafucka man!"
(Fade to Black)

[Buns_of_Fire]

14. Goin' downtown, gonna see my gal...

(harmonica)
Goin' downtown, gonna see my gal, yawwwwl
(harmonica)
Gonna sing her a song
Gonna show her my ding-dong

"Ah, cut, cut. Ummm... I'm not too clear on the lyrics, here... 'Going downtown, gonna see my gal, gonna sing her a song, gonna show her my ding-dong'... Yeah, uh, what's a 'ding-dong'?"

"I think he's gonna show you, J.R..."

ZIIIIIIIIIIIIP!

"Oh my God. We'll never fit that on an album cover..."

[linazelle]

15. Jimi Hendrix dream sequence/hallucination from "Nice Dreams"

Jimi says:

"Ah'm a sing one mo' song fo' I get back into my box."


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

16. The one that ends

'oh, it's just an ambulance, man'...............funny as hell!

[FredScuttle]

17. "Trippin in Court"

BALIFF: "You are hereby charged that, on the night of September 14th, you did willfully, with malice and forethought, sexually assault a 14 year old girl. How do you plead?"

LESLIE HORWINKLE: "Insanity"

BALIFF: "Insanity?"

LESLIE HORWINKLE: "That's right, insanity....I'm just crazy about that girl..."

[FarLeftRage]

18. "I played Black Sabbath 78 speed backwards..."

"And then what happened?"

"I saw God, man."

[TroubleMan]

19. Blind Mellon Chitlin

Put one leg over my shoulder
Put two legs over my shoulder
Then mmm mmmm mmm mmm mmm!


LOL

[RetroLounge]

20. Whatever you do, Don't answer the phone, man,

I think it's bugged.

Hello?

RL

[Kat45]

21. "It's only an ambulance."

[elehhhhna]

22. The song: Me & my old Lady...We are so much in love...

Sometimes we go on a picnic and don't even bring any beer!

[thecai]

23. "I Wrote This Song One Night"....

..."While I was beatin my ole lady":spank: