GEORGE: Oh, you mean that posh bird who gets everything wrong?

[BurtWorm]

50. INTERIOR, INNER OFFICE

**This scene appears in what would be Scene 48 of the movie**

A large room, part production office with models and sets, drawing board with ground plans, the other part of the room a mixture of Pop and Queens'magazine decor.

Behind a large desk sits SIMON MARSHAL, a bland but slightly irritable young man of about thirty-five.He is wearing the ultimate in the current smart set fashion. He is attended by a couple of underlings ADRIAN and TONY and behind him on the wall is a poster of a girl. Across the poster is printed, "Way out, your own T.V. Special with Susan Campey." Director, Simon Marshal.

SECRETARY: (proudly) Will this do, Simon?Simon, will this do?

SIMON: (looking at George) Not bad, dolly, not really bad. (he motions to George.) Turn around,chicky baby. (George does so.)Oh yes, a definite poss. He'll look good alongside Susan. (he indicates the girl on the poster.) Alright, Sunny Jim, this is all going to be quite painless. Don't breathe on me,Adrian.

ADRIAN has recognised GEORGE and is trying to stop SIMON.

GEORGE: Look, I'm terribly sorry but I'm afraid there's been some sort of a misunderstanding.

SIMON: (sharply) Oh, you can come off it with us. You don't have to do the old adenoidal glottal stop and carry on for our benefit.

GEORGE: I'm afraid I don't understand.

SIMON: Oh, my God, he's a natural.

SECRETARY: (anxiously) Well, I did tell them not to send us any more real ones.

MAN: They ought to know by now the phonies are much easier to handle. Still he's a good type.

He now speaks to GEORGE in the loud voice that the English reserve for foreigners and village idiots.

MAN: We want We'd like you to give us your opinion on some clothes for teenagers.

GEORGE: Oh, by all means, I'd be quite prepared for that eventuality.

SIMON: Well, not your real opinion, naturally. It'll be written out and you'll learn it. (to secretary) Can he read?

GEORGE: Of course I can.

SIMON: I mean lines, ducky, can you handle lines?

GEORGE: Well I'll have a bash.

SIMON: Good. Hart, get Give him whatever it is they drink, a cokearama?

GEORGE: Ta.

SIMON: Well, at least he's polite. Tony Show him the shirts, Adrian.

A collection of shirts are produced and GEORGE looks at them. While he is doing this Simon briefs him.

SIMON: Now, you'll like these. You really "dig" them. they're "fab" and all the other pimply hyperboles.

GEORGE: I wouldn't be seen dead in them.they're dead grotty.

SIMON: Grotty?

GEORGE: Yeah, grotesque.

SIMON: (to secretary) Make a note of that word and give it to Susan. I think It's rather touching really. Here's this kid trying to give me his utterly valueless opinion when I know for a fact within four weeks a month he'll be suffering from a violent inferiority complex and loss of status because if he isn't wearing one of these nasty things. Of course they're grotty, you wretched nit, that's why they were designed, but that's what you'll want.

GEORGE: But I won't.

SIMON: You can be replaced you know, chicky baby.

GEORGE: I don't care.

SIMON: And that pose is out too, Sunny Jim.The new thing is to care passionately, and be right wing. Anyway, you won't meet Susan if you don't cooperate if you don't cooperate you won't meet Susan..

GEORGE: And who's this Susan when she's at home?

SIMON: (playing his ace) Only Susan Campey,our resident teenager. You'll have to love her. She's your symbol.

GEORGE: Oh, you mean that posh bird who gets everything wrong?

SIMON: I beg your pardon?

GEORGE: Oh, yes, the lads frequently gather round the T.V. set to watch her for a giggle. Once we even all sat down and wrote these letters saying how gear she was and all that rubbish.

SIMON: She's a trend setter. It's her profession!

GEORGE: She's a drag. A well-known drag. We turn the sound down on her and say rude things.

SIMON: Get him out of here!!

GEORGE: (genuinely surprised) Have I said something amiss?

SIMON: Get him out of here. He's knocking the programme's image!!

The underlings hustle GEORGE to the door.

GEORGE: (smiling) Sorry about the shirts.

He is ejected through the door.

SIMON: Get him out. (he stops in mid shout.)You don't think he's a new phenomenon, do you?

SECRETARY: You mean an early clue to the new direction?

SIMON: (rummaging in his desk) Where's the calendar? (he finds it.) No, he's just a trouble maker.The change isn't due for three weeks. All the same,make a note not to extend Susan's contract. Let's not take any unnecessary chances! Hmm?

[BurtWorm]

1. Remember this scene?