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I have no gay friends in real life. Is there something wrong with me?

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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:00 PM
Original message
I have no gay friends in real life. Is there something wrong with me?
Edited on Sun Jan-30-05 05:00 PM by Bouncy Ball
Seriously. It's not like I sit there tallying and saying "OK, let's see, I've got three female friends, four male friends, one is Jewish, two are black, one is Hispanic. Ok, got that covered. Now, I've got one who is agnostic, one...."

You get me.

But why is it I have no gay friends in real life? I have plenty on the internet. One (not from here) that I even exchange Christmas cards and pictures of our kids with. I've known her for years. Love her to death.

It's not something I stay up at night thinking about. In fact, it wasn't until just now that I realized it. I know there are gay people in my city. But it'd be kinda odd, and possibly even inappropriate to set OUT to make a friend who is gay just to HAVE a gay friend. I don't want to do that. I like people for their personality, their intelligence, their humanity, not their sexuality. I just wonder why......

Eh. Not the World's Hugest Problem, I know. Just weird that it occurred to me just now...

Oh I just had Kettle Corn and it was so damn good. Just wanted to share.

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JohnKleeb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:01 PM
Response to Original message
1. Maybe youre like me and can't tell any of your friends are gay
:shrug: I have the world's smallest gay dar.
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:02 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. I don't think that's true for me.
I have incredible gaydar. I knew one of my friends in high school was gay before he even came out to anyone else besides himself.
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JohnKleeb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:03 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Ok so you're not like me
BTW did you how nutty I was acting last night?
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:08 PM
Response to Reply #3
15. I was really enjoying it!!
You are a hoot Kleeb! DO you have homework????
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JohnKleeb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:35 PM
Response to Reply #15
29. Nope because this semester is ovah!
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Fenris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:03 PM
Response to Original message
4. I have no gay friends either.
I think that's due more to geography than anything else, though.
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devilgrrl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:04 PM
Response to Original message
5. No. Your friends just haven't come out yet.
git.
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terrya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:04 PM
Response to Original message
6. Welll.....
You actually may. Or, maybe a family member.

I certainly can't positively suggest that there are. But it's possible....let's put it this way...you don't have any OPENLY gay friends.

A friend from work didn't know I was gay (ok, no smart aleck remarks. :-)) until I told him one day. He was perfectly ok with it.

I wouldn't worry about it. But at the same time...you just may and not know it right now.
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:07 PM
Response to Reply #6
14. That's very true.
Now I need to turn on my gaydar to DEFCOM 10 to see if I actually DO have any gay friends! LOL!

As for family members, my father in law is bi, but he lives very far away and I never see him and hardly ever talk to him. (He's a right wing bushbot.)
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 06:42 PM
Response to Reply #6
41. That's very true for me too
Edited on Sun Jan-30-05 06:43 PM by Xipe Totec
I have no 'gaydar' I have several friends who are gay, but I did not know it for many years. It's not that they hid it or anything; it just didn't ever come up in the conversation. My friends were amused by my cluelessness. I would only find out indirectly through female friends who would comment that so-and-so was moving in with such-and-such. Really? - I'd say - I didn't know they were gay. Then my friends would laugh. :silly:
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Commie Pinko Dirtbag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:04 PM
Response to Original message
7. Don't you live in RW Hell, TX?
There's something wrong with your surroundings, not with you.
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. Yeah I do.
:shrug:
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yellowdogintexas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:05 PM
Response to Original message
8. you probably do, but he/she/they are just not "out" to you yet
Seriously.

or just not "out" to anyone ...except their partner....

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jonnyblitz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:05 PM
Response to Original message
9. just as well. all we do is seduce and lead on straight women.
Edited on Sun Jan-30-05 05:07 PM by jonnyblitz
for free legal advise. all of us. :eyes:
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. It was that thread that made me realize it, actually!
LOL!

BAD gay guys, BAD!

Time for a spanking!
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jonnyblitz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:11 PM
Response to Reply #12
21. well..i would hang out with you if you were close by

especially if you provide a service i would like to take advantage of. we all do it. :hi:
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:14 PM
Response to Reply #21
25. I don't have many services that are of use to the homosexual community
besides being willing to take a bullet for y'all.

:hug: Thanks sweetie. I have TONS of gay friends on DU!!! And they all freaking ROCK. And my straight friends here rock, too. All DUers do.
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JanMichael Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:28 PM
Response to Reply #9
26. Aha! You admit it! You're probably scamming some dental assistant...
...as we speak. Getting flossed for free, wash your mouth out now!

Vile pig of a dog!
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jonnyblitz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:53 PM
Response to Reply #26
33. actually
if I were to scam, the dental assistant would be the one I would get the most benefit from considering the cost of dental services. :hi:
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SheWhoMustBeObeyed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:05 PM
Response to Original message
10. I have quite a few but
not one of them has ever tried to lead me on, not even the ladies.

I feel so ugly and unused. :cry:
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Arkana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:07 PM
Response to Original message
13. The only gay people I know are insufferable assholes
It would take too long to explain WHY they're insufferable assholes, so take my word for it.
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:08 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. Does it involve a numbered list?
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Arkana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:09 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. No
They're former classmates of mine who almost cost my mother her job...again, it would take too long to explain the circumstances.
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:11 PM
Response to Reply #18
20. Oh you were being serious???
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Arkana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:12 PM
Response to Reply #20
22. Yes, dead serious.
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sundog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:09 PM
Response to Original message
17. me either
:scared: :scared: :scared:

Except, of course, my beloved DU'ers.

It's because I live in the middle of nowhere. :cry:
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:12 PM
Response to Reply #17
23. Ok suddenly I don't feel sorry for myself anymore.
I mean you NEED to have gay friends!!! Otherwise, how are you going to date?

Aw, sundog. :hug:

Surely there are gay men where you live??? Move to New York!!!
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qwertyMike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:10 PM
Response to Original message
19. 3 of my friends are gay (male)
In fact one of them, my best friend, just left town for good today to return to Toronto.
:(
Another is a (celibate) priest. And I'm definitely hetero.
I think I fit that Metrosexual definition. I was never good at the back-slapping, beer-drinking guy thing (Which I happen to believe has very strong homosexual tendencies)

Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:13 PM
Response to Reply #19
24. My husband doesn't dress as nicely as a metrosexual
but fits that "type" in so many other ways. He has NEVER watched sports (and neither did his dad), he isn't into the back slapping stuff. He watches the History Channel and the Science channel and the SciFi channel (or he did when we had satellite).

He's a computer dork (proudly), reads a lot, etc.

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6000eliot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:32 PM
Response to Original message
27. I have no gay friends and I AM gay!
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Bluebear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:34 PM
Response to Reply #27
28. I hear you!
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Spinzonner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:47 PM
Response to Original message
30. Have you checked the closets ?
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:48 PM
Response to Original message
31. I have no Australian friends
What's the difference, so fate hasn't put you in a friendship with a gay person. Doesn't mean anything.
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:51 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. Eh, I know.
Like I said, not a Major Problem. I just thought it was a bit weird.

And that totally sucks that you don't have any Australian friends. I do, they are a hoot.
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Solon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:56 PM
Response to Original message
34. OK, think about it really hard...
Look at all your friends, if none are gay, that leaves only one person left. ;)
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 05:57 PM
Response to Reply #34
35. Oh my GOD! It's ME!!!!
I do think I have bi tendencies (never acted on, I missed my window of opportunity on that) but I have really searched my soul (just in case) and am not lesbian. I do think I have a gay man inside me, though. Does that count?
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Solon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 06:02 PM
Response to Reply #35
36. Well..
I feel like a lesbian in a man's body, so I would say, yes that does count.
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 06:03 PM
Response to Reply #36
37. Oh goodie!!!!!
I am my own friend, so I guess I DO have a gay friend, in a manner of speaking.

I am a shoe and purse WHORE.
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JohnKleeb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 06:04 PM
Response to Reply #37
38. yer so silly
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Solon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 06:06 PM
Response to Reply #37
39. You want to know what's funny...
You complain about not having any gay friends, I don't have any straight friends. All my friends include a bunch of lesbians and a gay guy, I'm the only one that is straight, its too bad they live so far away right now, kinda lonely.
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 06:40 PM
Response to Original message
40. I don't know if I have any gay friends or not.
If they do, they are not out to me.

Back in Minnesota, I was acquainted and/or friends with several folks who were out.

Oh, wait - I do know two couples my husband used to insure when he was an agent; one of the men works at a salon and got me into OPI nail polish. We see the other couple out and about from time to time, but I don't know them very well.
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CJCRANE Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-05 06:46 PM
Response to Original message
42. The only
people I know who are gay where not gay (i.e. not out) when I met them, so maybe it's only a matter of time...
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