Bill O'Reilly's Thoughtful Valentine's Day Gift Suggestions

[Miss Authoritiva]

From Scriptoids

This is how O'Reilly wrapped up his program on "The Iraqi Elections and Your Family"--

O'REILLY: Also on the subject of the free marketplace, Valentine's Day is coming up, two-and-a-half weeks. Just a heads-up for that. The good stuff on billoreilly.com for both guys and gals is going fast. No-spin romance, the only kind to have.

You know, a girl gets curious when a guy who just bought his way out of a sexual harassment lawsuit involving some hugely entertaining stories about loofahs, falafel, and vibrators mentions Valentine's Day gifts. So I did indeed go window shopping at "The O'Reilly Storefront" (that's what it's called). But I found only the usual schlock and dreck: mugs, T-shirts, caps, doormats, pens, and umbrellas -- all imprinted with the O'Reilly mantra. And there's also a "Boycott France" bumpersticker (English only).

No loofahs and falafel. And no Black & Decker Steely Dan vibrators emblazoned with "The No-Spin Zone." What a waste of a lucrative marketing tie-in.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

1. I dunno. That doormat has possibilities.

Maybe that's what he's giving his wife.