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yvr girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 02:35 PM
Original message
I now see the appeal of being a parent
I've been with my niece all week, helping out my sister-in-law while my brother has been away.

My niece, Isabella really missed her daddy. Yesterday, she had a framed picture of the two of them sitting on the table while she was colouring a picture for him. She was also talking to the picture. After a while, she grabbed the picture and hugged it, and said, "I miss my daddy."

I don't think anyone has ever missed me that much.

I'm not convinced that I could survive a baby yet, but at least I can see the benefits. (I'm not convinced the baby would survive either, but that's a story for another day.)
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bobbobbins Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 02:36 PM
Response to Original message
1. i see no benefits...i can't even take care of a dog
im far too greedy and selfish to raise anything
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yvr girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 02:38 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. I don't even have plants!
I'm just at the point where I can understand why other people might do it.
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SemiCharmedQuark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 02:41 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. I'm too selfish for a kid...but I love my cats and dog!
Damn, do I love them!
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fit4life Donating Member (561 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 03:10 PM
Response to Reply #6
15. Try it sometime!
You'd be amazed at how quickly greed & selfishness go out the window when you first hold your little baby.

I only get my boys every other weekend, and my heart breaks every time I have to drop them off at the end of the weekend and usually cry for a good 10 minutes on the way back home again. I count the minutes until I can see them again.

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SemiCharmedQuark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 03:56 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. It's intimidating.
Im very scared about kids. It seems like it is so easy to be a bad parent. Plus I had an amazing mom that I absolutely adore, and I doubt I could ever be that good.
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fit4life Donating Member (561 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 04:27 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. You're already ahead of the game.
If you had an amazing mother, you're on the road to being the same. No matter whether you thought you were paying attention or not, you'll learn you picked up a lot of her methods. Most of it will come naturally though, and it's hard to be a bad parent when you're constantly thinking of nothing but what's best for your child.

It's no cakewalk, that's for sure. Sometimes you have to stifle your urge to make everything perfect for them in order for them to learn a lesson, but it's a wonderful and rewarding experience.
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The Sheik Donating Member (349 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 09:55 PM
Response to Reply #1
23. Same here man.
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Book Lover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 02:37 PM
Response to Original message
2. Yes, that unconditional love thing is a gas!
My child's freely-given hugs and kisses are sweeter to me than anything in the whole wide world. Plus you can hook them up to the mill grinder when they're too young to know any better! ;-)
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 02:49 PM
Response to Reply #2
9. When I tell my little girl "I love you"
she always responds, "I love you bigger". Melts my soul.
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BelleCarolinaPeridot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 02:52 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. That is so cute !
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Book Lover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 02:55 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. "I love you up to the moon
and back." Yay! My child isn;t speaking lots of full words yet, but every once in a while he homes in on you and gives you a hug, or wipes his mouth on you in his version of a kiss. It's the best!

(Now wait, ten years from now I'll be posing about how my rotten kid yelled "I hate you" at me and I'll be here looking for hugs...)
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proud patriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 02:38 PM
Response to Original message
3. It's an amazing love you get from them
:D
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 02:39 PM
Response to Original message
5. Yeah there's that ....the deduction and that
Edited on Mon Jan-31-05 02:42 PM by underpants
Put them in whatever order you want.

:evilgrin:
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yvr girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 02:45 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. If you're just looking for a tax deduction
wouldn't it be easier to donate to charity? Kids are a lot of work. (Speaking from my one week of partial experience.)
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 02:54 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. No just kidding n/t
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nini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 02:45 PM
Response to Original message
8. She's not a teenager - is she?
:D

yep, kids can be great but they are a big challenge to raise and raise well.

There will be many, many wonderful moments like you describe with them and in the end it's worth it, but it is difficult.

Being an auntie is really fun though. I've got 14 nieces and nephews and have a blast with them. :-)

Enjoy her when you can.. you'll never regret that time.
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Butterflies Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 02:55 PM
Response to Original message
13. She's sweet now, but wait ten years . . .
I'm struggling with a 15 year old son who was the sweetest and most loving kid imaginable when he was little. Now he wants very little to do with me. I miss the days when he'd beg me to sit with him to watch "The Lion King" tape. It's all fleeting.
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Frogtutor Donating Member (739 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 03:07 PM
Response to Original message
14. It is the most incredible feeling in the world...
Not just the unconditional love that they give you, but to love them so fiercely and unconditionally...there just aren't words to describe it.

Mine is now approaching puberty and he can drive me crazy sometimes, but at the same time, he delights me every day.

Believe me, all the good outweighs any bad by a ton!
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Angry Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 03:14 PM
Response to Original message
16. Don't be fooled....
Millions of parents out there have made HUGE mistakes by having kids they were financially and emotionally incapable of taking care of. Most marriages break up because of the kids. No joke.

So many people are looking for something that will fulfill their lives, give it meaning. Well, if you can't find that on your own, you're not ready for a baby!

"Oh, so cute, blablabla!" and then the stark reality of the screaming, the diapers, the whining, the injuries, the tantrums, the horrible expenses of clothing and food and education, and the constant attention a kid needs, and the worrying you'll go through, the mental and physical exhaustion, the strife, the fears, the crippling responsiblity. You'll never have time to yourself again. For anything. Not for years and years and years.

And that's if your kid doesn't have special needs.

And to make matters worse, after the fact you can't say, "Damn it, I blew it and now I don't want this baby." Else people will think you're a monster. No, you're stuck with 18 years or more of this.

If people want children so badly, what's wrong with adopting some of the millions that have no parents? Why does it always have to be one's own genes? Is it an ego thing?

I know, I'm a cynic and I just don't get it. I really don't.... I can understand a cat or a dog. At least they're cute and unconditional in their love....
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 03:21 PM
Response to Original message
17. Having a kid is the best!
I'm sooooo lucky to have my little boy. He's just everything that's meaningful and valuable in life!
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shrike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 03:24 PM
Response to Original message
18. I don't have kids for two reasons
A. I'm absent-minded as hell. And don't tell me I'd change, either, this is the way I'm wired.

B. I like being alone too much. Not that I'm a hermit, but I do require lots of "quality" time to myself each day, to write, paint and think. When you have kids, you're never alone.

But I love my three nieces and have really enjoyed watching them grow up. Sometimes I get a little envious of my sister, but then I go home, pour myself a glass of wine and know I've made the right choice. Plus, I have the financial wherewithal to help them with their schooling, with extras, etc, so I feel like I'm contributing to their upbringing.

My sister has said what the other posters on this thread have said: the best thing about kids is the fact that they love you so much.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 04:31 PM
Response to Original message
21. I just told my little guy we were taking him to Disney World...
The expression on his face was worth more than the cost of the trip. :-)
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 09:53 PM
Response to Original message
22. My 6 year old had a bleeding, puss-filled ear infection.
He has ear tubes in and ending up with an awful infection (no fever, no complaint of pain either until he started draining) last night. Anyway, I took him to see the doctor today after his father got home (I didn't have to take anyone else), so it was just he and I alone. He (very bravely I might add) had to get further cleaned out, wait at the pharmacy for meds, and when it was all said and done, he said, "Mommy, it was so nice just to spend time alone even if my ear hurts really bad. You made me feel better. I love you, mommy." My heart melts.

If no one else in the world ever thinks I'm a worthy person (or I'm "too this" or "too that"), there are people who I love that love me back that appreciate the little things I do. If that's not something, I don't know what is. I have gone to Hell and back for them and I'd do it again. I love them so much.
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