"I do not have a girlfriend."

[XNASA]

"But I do know a girl who would be really mad if she heard me say that."

[jpgray]

1. An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs (nt)

[XNASA]

4. They put up a sign that says....

"This escalator is temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

[MsAnthropy]

2. Mitch Hedberg from Minnesota!!

We love our stoner!

[underpants]

3. Steve Perry looks completely different without the sideburns

:bounce:

[XNASA]

5. Someone handed me a picture and said..........

"This is a picture of me when I was younger."

Every picture of you is when you were younger.

"...Here's a picture of me when I'm older."

"Wow. Where'd you get that camera, man?"

[davidinalameda]

6. he looks like someone I used to know

and he didn't have a girlfriend either

[johnnie]

7. I knew he looked familiar

That guy is pretty funny, I saw him on a comedy stand up thing not long ago.

[RaleighNCDem]

8. I hi-lighted my hair because I thought some strands were more

important than others.

[XNASA]

9. "I used to do drugs.......

I still do, but I used to, too."

[DS1]

10. Rice is really good for when you want to eat a couple thousand of

something

or from That '70s Show

M: I didn't lose a leg in Vietnam so I could come back here and take crap from you

Hyde: But you didn't go to Vietnam

M: Like I said, I didn't go to Vietnam etc etc

[specimenfred1984]

11. "I Went to a Target..."

"and there were bodies littered all over the front of the place. If you're going to call yourself Target, you should have much bigger doors!"

[bobbobbins]

12. This thread is too deep

my brain can't take it...its going into overload

[underpants]

13. The face of a child can say a lot

especially the mouth part of the face

[XNASA]

14. "I bought a seven dollar pen because ......

...I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring."

[aden_nak]

15. This shirt is dry clean only. Which means. . . it's dirty.